"What does it profit a man to gain the world, yet lose his soul?"

The guy in the orange jumpsuit continued talking:

"For twelve years I worked for Toyota. All the benefits- especially the 401k- all the money.  My first home was a half-million dollar home.  I lost it in my divorce. I lost it because I was GREEDY. My second house, I built for myself and my new wife. It was foreclosed.

"I would take money out of my 401k- $2500, $5000, whatever- at a time because I was selfish. I am the most selfish person I know. It took me coming here to jail to figure that out. Now, I'm 45 years old and I got nothing.  Nothing. I'm broke. I have no retirement, no home, no job- the people who own my house now got all the stuff. My tables, my chairs, my bed- they have it all now."

I looked at him and said, "Jesus said, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world-"

He finished the quote, "-and lose your soul! Exactly. That's exactly what I was doing out there.  I had gained the world but I had lost my soul. I used to be a preacher in a church (true story, actually). I used to preach and lead people to the Lord, I used to baptize people, I used to counsel people and heal their marriages. But I started using drugs, then started selling, all because I wanted what this world could give me. And I got it. I gained the whole world, yet in the process I lost my soul."

Tears appeared in his eyes. He was quiet for a minute as he attempted to compose himself. The other inmates were silent too.  I waited and as he composed himself, he continued.

"My wife has decided to stay with me, though. When I get out, we are moving out of here to another state.  I'm getting back into the ministry. But this time I'm just going to love people- I'm just going to help people know they have a purpose.

"I've gained my soul and lost the world. And it's the happiest I've ever been."

I answered, "It would seem that the two are mutually exclusive. The more of the world you get- money, power, position, status, etc- the less you have of your soul.  And vice versa. The less of the world you get, the MORE you have your soul.  True?"

He said, "It certainly seems that way."

Jesus said it Himself, "What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?" That's a good question. But is He really serious about it? Why can't we have it both ways?

Why can't we be successful, happy, prosperous, popular, wealthy ANDS spiritual? Why are those two mutually exclusive?

I don't think they automatically are.  I have known wealthy people who are completely sold out and committed to Jesus Christ.  I have known poor people who want nothing to do with Him. I don't think that being successful, happy, prosperous, popular and wealthy are an automatic death sentence to a person's faith.  I think it all comes down to what you value most.

Is God your treasure? Is He of supreme value and worth to you?  So much that you would gladly give up all you have if He commanded you to?

Or is God simply third or fourth on the priority list, and your wealth and status of paramount importance?

Those are the questions every Christian must answer.  The inmate in the orange jumpsuit had answered those questions incorrectly.  For him, the money earned by selling drugs and the subsequent lifestyle he was able to live was more important than God and His commands.

The CEO of the large company who refuses raises to his lowest paid workers and instead gives himself fat bonuses has answered those questions incorrectly.

The middle-class worker who lives comfortably but whose entire paycheck goes to make himself even more comfortable instead of giving to those in need, or giving to God's kingdom, has answered those questions incorrectly.

The high school student who loves Jesus but who will belittle and mock unpopular students to maintain her high standing in the social quagmire of high school has answered those questions incorrectly.

What does it profit a CEO to gain the world, yet lose his soul?  What does it profit a middle class man to gain more comfort yet lose his soul?  What does it profit a teenager to gain popularity yet lose her soul?

It all comes down to what you value and what you prioritize.  If you prioritize this world and its rewards, you will lose your soul.  You will deny Jesus and His commands.  You will walk away from your faith.  You will increasingly strive for things that will not matter in a hundred years.  You will gain the world, yet lose your soul.

And as you pass from this life into eternity, will it be worth it?

If I may speak plainly and without political correctness, as you enter hell and spend the rest of your eternity there, will it have been worth it?

To the CEO in hell who allowed greed to dictate his company policies- were the few extra million worth it? Were the twenty or thirty years of luxury worth an eternity in hell?  You gained the world yet lost your soul.  You made yourself wealthy at the expense of others.

To the comfortable middle class man whose sole aim in life was more comfort, so much that you neglected the poor and neglected God's commands of giving, now that you are in hell, was it worth it?  Was the hot tub and the surround-sound system and the new clothes worth an eternity in hell?  You gained the world yet lost your soul.  You made yourself comfortable at the expense of others.

To the high schooler in hell who loved her popularity more than the needs of others, was it worth it?  Was being asked to prom by the right guy and being seen with the right friends for three short years worth an eternity in hell? Was the satisfaction you gained by mocking and belittling and ignoring the uncool and unpopular worth it?  You gained the world yet lost your soul. You stayed popular at the expense of others.

The apostle Paul said, "I consider all of it RUBBISH, that I might know Jesus Christ."

To the CEO- consider your fat bonus RUBBISH in the face of knowing Jesus Christ.

To the middle class worker, consider your comfort RUBBISH in the face of knowing Jesus Christ.

To the popular high schooler, consider your popularity RUBBISH in the face of knowing Jesus Christ.

That is how we keep from losing our souls. We must consider the world, and its rewards and all it offers, rubbish.  Junk. Trash. Something to be flushed down the toilet rather than held onto and pursued. Something worthy only of the trash heap.  Something worthy only of being recycled.

Then, and only then, can we truly embrace Jesus Christ. Only then can we truly value and honor Jesus above all else. He becomes our one desire, our one delight, our one and only treasure.  Anything else that comes our way is icing on the cake.

In 150 years, the only thing that will matter to you is Jesus. Why focus on anything else but Him now?

"The answered prayer wasn't the point. The point was the fellowship with God."

Yesterday was an interesting adventure in fixing a car and prayer.

I do all my own car maintenance- definitely a shade-tree mechanic, but I do enjoy it.  I've saved thousands and thousands of dollars by doing my own car maintenance over the years, and it has allowed me to hold onto cars for much longer than most people feel comfortable doing.

My car just turned 202,000 miles, and one thing I know about Nissan Maximas: the rear brakes are a weakness.  I'll spare the jargon, but suffice to say that after a certain point, you don't know if you will be able to change brake pads due to not being able to get the brake piston back into the caliper.

Well, the metal-on-metal sound my car was making when I slowed down definitely tipped me off that it was time to change them. So, yesterday morning, I jacked up the car, took off the back tires, and started to work.  The first side was easy! Got it done in less than five minutes.  Old brake pads out, new ones in, piece of cake.

The second side, well, that was a challenge.  I took the old pads out, and as I tried to get the piston back in to the caliper, it stuck. It stuck hard.  This is known as "freezing" to mechanics. If it wouldn't go in, there was no way to get the new pads in. If the new pads didn't go in, the car wouldn't be drivable. Brakes only work when ALL the brakes work.

I had a meeting in about thirty minutes. I had to get to work. I was responsible for picking up kids that afternoon. Needless to say, I was in a bind. I tried again to get the piston back in. It wouldn't go. I tried applying more force, and the tool slipped and sliced open my hand. Needless to say, it wasn't going anywhere. It was "frozen."

At that point, I could have taken two different paths. The natural part of me wanted to let loose with some words that would peel paint off the walls- a blue streak of profanity that would rival Ralphie's dad's black cloud still hanging over Lake Michigan in "A Christmas Story." A string of words so foul that all milk within a mile radius would instantly curdle. I've been here before. I've threatened to send every car I own to the junkyard, to beat them with sledgehammers, to burn them with a cutting torch, all the while telling the cars what I thought of their mothers when this kind of stuff happens. Anyone who has worked on cars knows exactly what I'm talking about.

The spiritual part of me wanted to pray. I thought, "What good will that do? A dozen people got murdered in Paris this morning by some Muslim terrorists, and you think God cares about a stupid brake pad problem I'm having?"  But, I did it anyway.  I said, "God, I need you to unstick this piston. I need it to turn two full rotations, and I need it now. To You be the glory."

I put the pliers on the piston. It turned exactly two revolutions and stopped again. I kid you not.

Now, just before that, I had applied enough force to bust the thing in two, and it didn't budge. I had turned the pliers so hard that my hand today is still bruised from the pressure, and the scabbed-over cut on my other hand bears testimony to the amount of force I applied when it slipped and cut my hand open.  After the prayer, I turned it like I was turning a screwdriver.

So what, Dave? Big deal. You changed your brake pads and God helped. So what?  Why write a blog about it?

Here is why: the point isn't the answered prayer. The point was the fellowship with God.

I learned, or re-learned, that I can approach God in the small things as well as the big things. Some things are really no big deal, like a brake caliper. Other things ARE big deals, like dealing with the loss of a loved one or getting bad news from the doctor. The point is- God is with us through the big AND the little.

Many times, I think we fail to approach God because we think it's too trivial for Him to bother.  He's got a whole universe to deal with, terrorists, murder, etc. This is wrong. God cares about you in the trivial as well.  Why?  Because He loves you. It's important to Him because it's important to you. That's what people who love you do- they care about the things that you care about. It may be no big deal on the big grand scheme of things, but if it's a big deal to you, it's a big deal to Him.

The point of prayer isn't getting what we want. The point of prayer is fellowship with God.

That was lesson number one.

Lesson number two was that God can accomplish more with His strength than I can with mine. My strength got me little more than a bruise on my right hand and gash on my left.  His strength was more than enough. What are you doing today in your own strength that might just wind up hurting you?

Lesson number three was that prayer accomplished what profanity didn't. I'm glad my mom wasn't there, because I'd be tasting soap for the next month.

Three lessons- all of them wonderful and beautiful. Be encouraged today by the fellowship you can have with God.  Pray, not for what you want, but so that you can experience the deep friendship and relationship with the God of the universe, who alone is the answer to all our prayers.  God bless.

Men in America describe themselves as . . . .

Angry.

I do a lot of ministry with men, both inside the church and outside the church.  I minister to men in small groups, in church, in prison, on the soccer field, and many other places.  Many men, for some reason, describe themselves as angry.

Why?

Anger is simply an emotion. You would think that there would be equal numbers, therefore, of men who would describe themselves as sad, joyful, happy, angry, and whatever other emotions you can think of.  However, this is not the case.  If you were to ask most men what emotion they feel the most, they would probably say anger.

Are men biologically wired to feel anger more than women?  No.

So why is this so common among men?  The answer is actually very simple.

Men, like women, are created with emotions. Believe it or not, ladies, men feel an equal amount of emotion as you do. We get happy, sad, and depressed.  We grieve, we feel afraid, we feel angry, we feel loving, we feel joyful- the entire range of emotions.  Yes, we have them.

The problem is this- from the time we were young boys, we have been told that expressing emotions is girly. Weak. Spineless.  Boys are routinely mocked for crying. I will admit that when my son gets hurt, I have told him, "Suck it up. Tough it out." I don't want him being made fun of on the playground or among friends.  I don't want him labelled as a wimp or a sissy.  It's rough out there for boys- believe me, I learned that the hard way.

So, from the time we were little, we were told that expressing emotions was weak . . . . except for one.  One emotion was okay.  One emotion that we had was not only okay to express- it was MANLY to express.  What emotion was that?  Anger.

No one called you girly for expressing anger. No one called you a wimp for expressing anger.  Inside every man, there are currents of emotions, like rivers flowing. Grief, joy, love, pain, empathy, anger- all of these are rivers flowing within a man. However, all but one has been stopped up. So, every emotion a man feels (with some exceptions, of course) has only one outlet- anger.

Men, this is why we get angry when we experience loss.  Society has taught us not to grieve, because that's not acceptable. However, the emotion is still there, so it is expressed as anger.

This is why, when I experienced the loss of my son, I expressed it as anger. I snapped at people who tried to be kind. I lost my temper at the smallest things; things that normally wouldn't be a big deal. Why? Because I was grieving. I had experienced loss, and I only had one outlet that I could use and still be a man.  That outlet was anger.

Women, this is why your man may be "mad at the world." This is why he seems to be angry over the slightest things. If he has suffered loss, he might be expressing that as anger.  If he is depressed, he might be expressing that in the form of anger. If he is stressed or worried or anxious, he is probably going to express it as anger.

Men, I understand what society has taught us. I understand not wanting to be seen as weak or vulnerable. I learned the same lessons you did as a kid.  However, I am telling you that anger is not the answer. Anger is not helping our families, it is not helping us, it is not a more healthy expression of emotion, no matter how manly or socially acceptable it feels.

It is far better to simply acknowledge the emotion. It's going to be expressed anyway, so you might as well let it out. If you are grieving, then grieve.  Don't get angry.  If you are depressed, then be depressed. Don't get angry.  There are healthy ways to express these emotions, which we all have, that don't lead to holes punched in drywall, road rage, words that you wish you could take back, striking loved ones, swearing, cursing your friends, and worse.

Women, realize that unless some major work of grace occurs in your man, or your sons, or other men you interact with, they usually have one outlet for emotion, and that is anger. If you are the target of that anger, realize that there might be something deeper going on, Use wisdom to discern whether it is true anger or if that anger is simply the expression of a different emotion. Try to help the men around you learn ways to express emotion in healthy ways that doesn't diminish his masculinity.

Lastly, men, if you have an anger problem, I ask you to allow the Holy Spirit to invade your heart.  The Bible tells us that when the Holy Spirit enters our lives, the results are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  I want you to stop seeing anger as more masculine than love. Anger is natural, but most actions as a result of anger are immature, not masculine. A Godly man feels just as much anger as anyone else, but by the power of God, he is able to exercise self-control so that he doesn't do anything he regrets later on. We need fewer angry men in this world- our families need it, our marriages need it, our workplaces need it, and our churches need it.  We need men who are fully alive in the Spirit of God- demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to greater and greater degrees in life.