Last Sunday, I was finishing up my Inside/Out Dad prison ministry. One of the guys asked if he could talk with me after class. He approached me and said, "Just wanted you to know- I had divorce papers that I was going to send to my wife, but because of last week's class I decided not to."
I nodded.
He continued, "You said that you'd sit down and do counseling for anyone in this class. Will you really sit down with me and my wife and help us work things out?"
I said, "Sure. I'm a pastor. I do that all the time. I'd love to sit down with you and your wife and see if there are things I can help with. I really believe in marriage and want to see everyone succeed in it."
Then, in one of those moments where the Holy Spirit guides you, I said, "This past Tuesday night I was watching the UK-Alabama game when I got a message that a friend of mine had died. I had baptized him back in July a few months ago. He went to work, came home, sat down on the couch, massive heart attack, and died."
I continued, "I went to the hospital to visit the family. When I got there, it was mass chaos. The family was grieving, the coroner was trying to get information from his wife who was understandably beside herself with grief, family was there, etc. I sat and listened and counseled with the family for about an hour."
"Then it was time to go home. I walked back to the room, room #6, where my friend's body lay. I went there with his wife and stepdaughter- the women of the family. This was going to be their goodbye. The last words they would say to him. I'll never forget what they said."
I looked at the inmate. I said, "The wife leaned down and said, "Joe, you were so good to me. No one has ever loved me the way you did. Thank you." His stepdaughter said the same thing, "Joe Daddy, you were so good to me. You treated me so well."
The guy looking at me was silent.
I said, "That's what being a man is about. For the women in the family- the ones we are supposed to love and cherish and take care of and provide for- for them to say at the end of our lives, "You were so good to me, no one has ever loved me like you did," is about as good as it gets for a man. Now, let's say it was you laying on the table dead. Would your wife and daughter say that to you?"
He looked at me and said, "Probably not."
I said, "Well, what can you do right now, and continue doing for the rest of your life, so that they actually WOULD say that?"
He looked me in the eye and said with a straight face, "Well, I'd probably have to give up my girlfriend."
It's not easy to render me speechless, but he sure managed to do it. I thought he was joking at first, but he was as serious as he could be. I raised my eyebrows, gave him the two thumbs up signal and said, "Good plan."
After talking a little bit more, I found out that the reason he wanted to sit down with me and his wife wasn't to work on their marriage. He wanted me to tell his wife that she needed to get over his having a girlfriend on the side. That's what he thought I would do for him.
I said, "You're absolutely nuts. I'm not going to tell your wife that you having a girlfriend is okay."
The entire situation is laughable, right?
Who in their right mind would want a minister to say that outright sin is okay? It would never happen, right?
Sadly, that is what Christians do every day. Although we are much more sneaky about it.
How many of us want to be committed to God? If you are a Christian, probably most of us. Now consider this: how many of us want the preacher to preach on tithing? If you are a Christian, probably no one. The Christian is too many times like this inmate- he's got his "marriage" to God but also his sin of selfishness on the side, and he wants the preacher to tell God that his disobedience to the Word of God is okay.
How many of us have our "marriage" to God but also have our porn on the side? Or our adulterous affair on the side? Or our lack of prayer, lack of study of the Word, lack of passion for the Great Commission, and idolatry on the side? How many of us want to wear the label "Christian" and yet lead lives that look no different than the rest of the non-Christian world?
We are like that guy. We are the inmate who wants both his wife and his girlfriend. Far too often, that describes the Body of Christ.
Well, like marriage, it won't work.
I can't imagine that any bride, on her wedding day, would like to hear the words from her soon-to-be-husband, "In sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do us part . . . . wait. How committed do I have to be to you? What if I am 98% committed to you and only commit adultery once a year? Will that be okay? How about 95%? How committed do I have to be to you before you'll get mad?"
The bride would likely look away in disgust and say, "It's either 100% or 0%. If I'm not your one and only, I'm gone."
God is the same way.
People, today we need to stop committing spiritual adultery, which is exactly what we are doing. Like that inmate, let's get rid of our "girlfriend on the side" and commit our way solely to the Lord our God. You know exactly what needs to leave your life. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Get rid of it today. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
I nodded.
He continued, "You said that you'd sit down and do counseling for anyone in this class. Will you really sit down with me and my wife and help us work things out?"
I said, "Sure. I'm a pastor. I do that all the time. I'd love to sit down with you and your wife and see if there are things I can help with. I really believe in marriage and want to see everyone succeed in it."
Then, in one of those moments where the Holy Spirit guides you, I said, "This past Tuesday night I was watching the UK-Alabama game when I got a message that a friend of mine had died. I had baptized him back in July a few months ago. He went to work, came home, sat down on the couch, massive heart attack, and died."
I continued, "I went to the hospital to visit the family. When I got there, it was mass chaos. The family was grieving, the coroner was trying to get information from his wife who was understandably beside herself with grief, family was there, etc. I sat and listened and counseled with the family for about an hour."
"Then it was time to go home. I walked back to the room, room #6, where my friend's body lay. I went there with his wife and stepdaughter- the women of the family. This was going to be their goodbye. The last words they would say to him. I'll never forget what they said."
I looked at the inmate. I said, "The wife leaned down and said, "Joe, you were so good to me. No one has ever loved me the way you did. Thank you." His stepdaughter said the same thing, "Joe Daddy, you were so good to me. You treated me so well."
The guy looking at me was silent.
I said, "That's what being a man is about. For the women in the family- the ones we are supposed to love and cherish and take care of and provide for- for them to say at the end of our lives, "You were so good to me, no one has ever loved me like you did," is about as good as it gets for a man. Now, let's say it was you laying on the table dead. Would your wife and daughter say that to you?"
He looked at me and said, "Probably not."
I said, "Well, what can you do right now, and continue doing for the rest of your life, so that they actually WOULD say that?"
He looked me in the eye and said with a straight face, "Well, I'd probably have to give up my girlfriend."
It's not easy to render me speechless, but he sure managed to do it. I thought he was joking at first, but he was as serious as he could be. I raised my eyebrows, gave him the two thumbs up signal and said, "Good plan."
After talking a little bit more, I found out that the reason he wanted to sit down with me and his wife wasn't to work on their marriage. He wanted me to tell his wife that she needed to get over his having a girlfriend on the side. That's what he thought I would do for him.
I said, "You're absolutely nuts. I'm not going to tell your wife that you having a girlfriend is okay."
The entire situation is laughable, right?
Who in their right mind would want a minister to say that outright sin is okay? It would never happen, right?
Sadly, that is what Christians do every day. Although we are much more sneaky about it.
How many of us want to be committed to God? If you are a Christian, probably most of us. Now consider this: how many of us want the preacher to preach on tithing? If you are a Christian, probably no one. The Christian is too many times like this inmate- he's got his "marriage" to God but also his sin of selfishness on the side, and he wants the preacher to tell God that his disobedience to the Word of God is okay.
How many of us have our "marriage" to God but also have our porn on the side? Or our adulterous affair on the side? Or our lack of prayer, lack of study of the Word, lack of passion for the Great Commission, and idolatry on the side? How many of us want to wear the label "Christian" and yet lead lives that look no different than the rest of the non-Christian world?
We are like that guy. We are the inmate who wants both his wife and his girlfriend. Far too often, that describes the Body of Christ.
Well, like marriage, it won't work.
I can't imagine that any bride, on her wedding day, would like to hear the words from her soon-to-be-husband, "In sickness and in health, for better for worse, till death do us part . . . . wait. How committed do I have to be to you? What if I am 98% committed to you and only commit adultery once a year? Will that be okay? How about 95%? How committed do I have to be to you before you'll get mad?"
The bride would likely look away in disgust and say, "It's either 100% or 0%. If I'm not your one and only, I'm gone."
God is the same way.
People, today we need to stop committing spiritual adultery, which is exactly what we are doing. Like that inmate, let's get rid of our "girlfriend on the side" and commit our way solely to the Lord our God. You know exactly what needs to leave your life. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Get rid of it today. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
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