A few days ago I was in Wal-Mart. I had just popped in for some quick groceries and wanted to get out as quickly as possible. I was in a hurry, not in the mood to deal with things- just wanted to get there, get what I needed, and get home as quickly as possible.
Which made my time in the checkout line even that much worse.
In front of me were two young parents with what looked to be about a five-year-old child. She was full of energy, to say the least. Basically she was running around, jumping in the shopping cart, being very loud, and was out of control. When you are stuck in a checkout line, being around a kid like that gets really old really fast.
However, I very quickly realized why she acted that way, because something happened that drove me absolutely nuts.
Her dad, probably realizing that his daughter was annoying the people around her with her constant running around and noise, told her to be still. She looked up at him and shouted, "NO!" Then she smiled and continued doing what she was doing. I began thinking what would have happened if I would have done that to my parents. I certainly wouldn't be here writing this, I can guarantee you THAT.
However, the mom laughed. She looked at her husband and said, "She is so SASSY!" Meanwhile, the kid continued to act like a brat. I made a mental note that if I ever became friends with this couple, I would NEVER invite them over as long as they had that kid with them.
This illustrates a major problem in parenting.
The child was disrespectful to her father. Defiance and disrespect are terrible attributes for any person to have, let alone a child. When the child said, "NO!" defiantly, she should have been corrected right then and there. She should have been told in no uncertain terms that she was in the wrong and should have been punished accordingly.
However, the parents laughed at it and wrote it off as "sassiness."
Parents, don't explain away your children's disrespect as "being cute" or "being sassy."
The truth of the matter is that the world won't find your child's disrespect nearly as cute or funny as you do. Neither will I. Neither will anyone unfortunate enough to come into contact with your child or anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in a Wal-Mart checkout line behind them. Employers won't find it funny when your child, being "sassy and cute," disrespects the customers. Teachers won't find it nearly as amusing when your child is a constant disruption in class because someone at home encouraged them to be "sassy and cute."
We have an entire generation growing up without respect for their elders, and I believe mainly it happens because parents laugh and explain away disrespect in this manner. The amount of parents who laugh at their children's disrespect is astonishing to me. Do they know they are encouraging the child to repeat it? Do they know they are setting their child up for failure in life? Do they know that they are raising a brat?
Probably not. In this generation of parents' quest to be their child's best friend, any thought along those lines are out the door. Any thought of future consequences to said "cute" behavior is gone.
Don't laugh at it. Discipline it.
Parents, you are the first people your child learns to respect. If you laugh off disrespect and defiance, if you call it "sassy," if you explain it away as "cute," you will be creating a monster. Resist the urge to laugh it off.
Remember- it is easier to train a child than to fix an adult. It is easier to train a five-year-old to be respectful than it is to discipline a disrespectful teenager. Far too many parents, by laughing at the disrespect of a five-year-old, create a monster that they have trouble dealing with in the teenage years, and then experience the heartbreak of an adult child who has none of the characteristics needed for a successful life.
Don't laugh at it. It isn't sassy. It isn't cute.
It's disrespect.
Which made my time in the checkout line even that much worse.
In front of me were two young parents with what looked to be about a five-year-old child. She was full of energy, to say the least. Basically she was running around, jumping in the shopping cart, being very loud, and was out of control. When you are stuck in a checkout line, being around a kid like that gets really old really fast.
However, I very quickly realized why she acted that way, because something happened that drove me absolutely nuts.
Her dad, probably realizing that his daughter was annoying the people around her with her constant running around and noise, told her to be still. She looked up at him and shouted, "NO!" Then she smiled and continued doing what she was doing. I began thinking what would have happened if I would have done that to my parents. I certainly wouldn't be here writing this, I can guarantee you THAT.
However, the mom laughed. She looked at her husband and said, "She is so SASSY!" Meanwhile, the kid continued to act like a brat. I made a mental note that if I ever became friends with this couple, I would NEVER invite them over as long as they had that kid with them.
This illustrates a major problem in parenting.
The child was disrespectful to her father. Defiance and disrespect are terrible attributes for any person to have, let alone a child. When the child said, "NO!" defiantly, she should have been corrected right then and there. She should have been told in no uncertain terms that she was in the wrong and should have been punished accordingly.
However, the parents laughed at it and wrote it off as "sassiness."
Parents, don't explain away your children's disrespect as "being cute" or "being sassy."
The truth of the matter is that the world won't find your child's disrespect nearly as cute or funny as you do. Neither will I. Neither will anyone unfortunate enough to come into contact with your child or anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in a Wal-Mart checkout line behind them. Employers won't find it funny when your child, being "sassy and cute," disrespects the customers. Teachers won't find it nearly as amusing when your child is a constant disruption in class because someone at home encouraged them to be "sassy and cute."
We have an entire generation growing up without respect for their elders, and I believe mainly it happens because parents laugh and explain away disrespect in this manner. The amount of parents who laugh at their children's disrespect is astonishing to me. Do they know they are encouraging the child to repeat it? Do they know they are setting their child up for failure in life? Do they know that they are raising a brat?
Probably not. In this generation of parents' quest to be their child's best friend, any thought along those lines are out the door. Any thought of future consequences to said "cute" behavior is gone.
Don't laugh at it. Discipline it.
Parents, you are the first people your child learns to respect. If you laugh off disrespect and defiance, if you call it "sassy," if you explain it away as "cute," you will be creating a monster. Resist the urge to laugh it off.
Remember- it is easier to train a child than to fix an adult. It is easier to train a five-year-old to be respectful than it is to discipline a disrespectful teenager. Far too many parents, by laughing at the disrespect of a five-year-old, create a monster that they have trouble dealing with in the teenage years, and then experience the heartbreak of an adult child who has none of the characteristics needed for a successful life.
Don't laugh at it. It isn't sassy. It isn't cute.
It's disrespect.
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