Hating Ourselves

We just got done with a series on the Song of Solomon that was absolutely fantastic- the vision put forth for marriage and romance and dating and sex and all that great stuff was like a breath of fresh air . . . . .  for some people.

Other people thought it was very difficult to hear.  Some people didn't like it at all.  I sat down with a guy recently who quite frankly hated it.

He said, "Why would we listen to a guy who had 300 wives and 700 concubines talk about marriage?  This guy was a womanizer and a philanderer!  How can he be telling me how to do this whole marriage thing?"

I said, "The same way that we can listen to a guy who killed Christians and persecuted them, a guy named Paul, tell us about the beauty of grace in the Christian faith.  The same way we can listen to a guy named Peter, who denied Jesus under threat of persecution, write about standing up under persecution in 1 and 2 Peter."

He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I seriously don't think that Solomon should be teaching anybody about marriage.  He was practically a sex addict."

Then the light bulb went on.  "So, you're really struggling with a sex addiction, aren't you?"

He looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look.  Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah."

I have found that whatever we criticize in other people is usually what we hate about ourselves.  Whenever I hear a pastor boldly decrying homosexuality over and over and over again, I would bet on the fact that he is seriously struggling with that personally.  Whenever I hear someone say, "No one is honest!  Everyone around me just lies, lies, lies all the time," I know that person struggles with being honest.  Whenever I hear someone constantly saying how judgmental everyone is, I know that person is a very judgmental person.

It's called projection.  We as human beings project the things we don't like about ourselves onto other people.  The guy I sat down with didn't like King Solomon because King Solomon's was doing the same things he was doing.  I constantly see the Christians around me not giving 100% for Jesus because I myself struggle with that daily (and fail more often than succeed).  I criticize materialism in people because I am constantly battling with my heart's desire for more things.

This is how you know what the Holy Spirit is convicting within you.  When you see shortcomings in other people and they really, really bother you, you can be fairly sure that you are actually the one with the problem.   I have noticed that it is the people that cause the most drama that say, "I hate all the drama!" the loudest.  I have noticed that it whenever I call out sin in another person, it is usually the pot calling the kettle black.

Today, take a quiet moment and ask yourself what faults you see in the people around you.  Reflect and ponder about whether that may actually be something wrong with YOU.  Typically that is the case.  Then, stop criticizing the person for what is wrong with you.  Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the strength to overcome in your life the sin that you saw in everyone else.

Parents: Teach your children this one simple lesson . . .

When I was five years old, my parents started to give me an allowance.  My eyes lit up- I could now conquer the world.  I had at my disposal the power to buy off anyone, to have my way, to own all the toys that Thornbury's (yes, Thornbury's in the Fayette Mall, for all of you Lexington folks who remember back that far) had to offer.

My plans for world domination came to a screeching halt when I learned that my parents had one simple rule to govern my massive fifty cents a week allowance.  This one simple rule is one that they enforced over the course of the next thirteen years, and one that I continue to practice today and even make my own children follow.

The rule was the Rule of the Financial Floor.

My parents are extremely fiscally responsible.  They saw the folly of living paycheck to paycheck, and therefore they wisely built margins into their financial outlook.  They forced me to do the same thing. 

Starting at age five, they set a $2 "financial floor" that I was not allowed to go under.  If I wanted a toy that cost $5, I had to have $7 before I could buy it.  At no time and under no circumstance was I ever allowed to have less than $2 in my possession. 

As I got older, the floor increased.  By the time I got to high school, the floor was $200.  I remember very vividly the time that all my friends were going to see a movie (which cost $5 back in those days), and I had $204 in my bank.  Guess what?  I didn't go see the movie. 

I would recommend that all parents teach their children the concept of the financial floor.  They need to know how unwise it is to ever spend your last dollar.  They need to know that wise people build margins into their lifestyles so that they are never caught unaware.  Parents, begin now- it doesn't matter what age your children are. 

I asked my dad why they established $2 for me when we started.  He said, "Your mom and I figured that a good starting point for a floor was one month's income.  You got $.50 per week, so $2 was one month's income.  That's a good starting point."

Parents, your child lives in your house, and therefore lives under your rules.  Whatever your child earns, whether from a job or from allowance, establish the floor at one month's income.  You might even want to establish that for yourself as an example.  Then, periodically check to see if your children are abiding by that rule. 

At a moment's notice, they must be able to produce the amount of one month's income.  This will give them real-life experience, because in life, they will be faced with sudden medical bills, an HVAC unit that goes out, or the sudden need to buy another car when their car dies.  If they have been living by the rule of the financial floor, they will be in a much better position to handle whatever life throws at them.

This isn't a concept that kids will figure out for themselves.  It will take parental teaching to make it happen.  By following this one rule, you will set your children up for success- financial success- later in life.  Do it now.

Is Profanity a sin?

I remember students coming up to me and asking me if it was a sin to cuss.  I said, "Well, what do you think?"

I heard some decent thoughts on it.  One was the fact that we use other words that are not considered profane to describe the exact same things that the profane words describe- female dog, bowel movement, making love, etc.  What makes one word, that describes a female dog, and the actual words "female dog" so different?  Another one was the statement by one of my students that if he were to use German swear words, and no one spoke German (and therefore no one was offended) would it really be cussing?

That, plus the fact that profanity is so common now, so accepted, so  . . . .  NORMAL- is it truly a sin?  Does the use of profanity dishonor God?

I have two thoughts on the subject of profanity, one Biblical and the other not.  I'll start with the non-Biblical one.  Before I start, I have to confess that in my younger years, especially in high school and early college, that I was a profane individual.  There were many points in my life where I doubt I could say a single sentence without throwing in a few words that would make a sailor blush.  In locker rooms, in the fraternity house, on the soccer field, and just in casual conversation with friends, my mouth was something that was less than pure and saintly to say the least.

First, the non-Biblical thought.  I have noticed, as I have gotten older, that wise people truly do have a tight rein on their mouths.  Foolish and impetuous people don't control what they say or when they say it.  I have noticed that words, much more than actions, cause the most problems in this world- in life, in relationships, in schools, at work, and in the home.  People who use wisdom in how they speak give careful thought to the words they say, and they rarely, if ever, engage in gossip, condescension, or use profanity.  Wisdom is the ability to foresee the consequences of their actions, and they wisely see that this kind of language rarely brings about the result that they intend.

I have noticed that while many non-violent people use profanity, profanity is nearly ALWAYS used by aggressive and violent people.  Very few violent criminals use the word, "Darn."  The same is true with self-controlled individuals.  While there are self-controlled individuals that use profanity, nearly ALL non-self-controlled individuals use profanity.  Profanity is the lower standard, while the abstention from profanity is the higher standard.

Second, the Biblical thought.  I believe that profanity is simply an expression of a bigger problem.  Jesus told us that, "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."  The mouth is the megaphone of the heart.  It is a great indicator of what is going on inside.  When a person is full of profanity, it shows a darkness within the heart that is troubling.  I know that before my conversion to Christ that my heart was very dark.  I was depressed and angry and purposeless, and my mouth showed that.  My mouth, through profanity, expressed my depression and anger.  It expressed my lack of self-control and my lack of love.  I look at my former use of profanity as the "foaming up of my shame" described in Jude 1:13.  It shouted to the world that things were not right within me.

A heart that is surrendered to Jesus is not full of depression and anger and purposelessness.  It is filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  For which of these is profanity needed to express?  None.

When I became a Christian, the first thing that God changed about me was my mouth.  I was powerfully convicted by the words that came out, and I was given new eyes to see the darkness that was prevalent in my heart . . . .  shown by my words.  I realized that if I was going to live a life according to the Bible, I was going to have live Ephesians 4:29 everyday, "Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up."

This is why I choose to forego the use of profanity in my life.  I always hope for a higher standard- a higher plane of class- than the use of profanity affords.  Whenever I am tempted to use profanity, I realize that there is something wrong in my heart that needs cleansing and grace.  I also never want to be accused or thought of as a man that lacks self-control or is hot-tempered or has no control over the deadliest part of the human body- the mouth.  I am calling all Christians to examine their use of profanity and realize that it has no place in the life of a person who has surrendered his or her life to Jesus and is filled with the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that the Holy Spirit brings.

The Myth of the Popular Jesus

Jesus is very popular in America.

Most, if not all, Christians think Jesus was a great guy.  So do most non-Christians.  Even many atheists, while denying His divinity, will agree that He was an amazing teacher, a great moral man, and did a lot of good while He was here.

To be sure, Jesus was and is an amazing man.  He is my personal hero.  He embodies everything I want to be, and if I can live my life 1/100th of what He did, I will consider my life well-lived.

The problem is- Jesus wasn't popular.

In the gospel of John, chapter 7, Jesus says this, "The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil."

Jesus was not just talking about His words.  His entire life was a testimony to the evil of this world- the hypocrisy of the religious leaders, the sexual immorality that was so prevalent, the lack of forgiveness, the selfish materialism that ran rampant in the culture, the political corruption, the lack of concern for the poor, and the denial of God in everyday life.  The world could not stand Jesus because He was a mirror- when the people of the world saw Him and His life, it showed how evil and selfish they truly were.

Evil and selfish people don't like it when they see themselves for who they truly are.

Just as people who are facing bankruptcy hate the sight of a bank statement (because it is a reminder of their true position), this world hated the life Jesus led.  The life Jesus led was a constant reminder of the depth of their sin and disbelief.  He was a burr under the saddle, a pebble in the shoe, a grain of sand in the eyes to a world that wished it could just live however it wanted, anytime, anyplace.

That's why they killed Him.  That's what the world does to people it hates.

The point is that if Jesus is popular today in America, it's because people don't know who Jesus is.  The Jesus that is popular in America today is a Jesus that falls in line with what America values.  However, just as Jesus refused to fall in line with the cultural values of His day, the true Biblical Jesus doesn't fall in line with the cultural values of this day either.  He continues to command that we surrender our lives to Him.  He continues to teach that all of our resources- our homes, our cars, our money, our possessions- are really His and therefore He determines how they are to be used.  He continues to teach that you can't serve both God and money.  He continues to teach that we care for the poor and invite the blind, the sick, the crippled, and the lame into our homes with no expectation of repayment.  He continues to command that we go into all the world, baptizing in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching everyone to obey everything He commands. 

But the kicker is that He continues to teach that He is the only way to the Father.

I wonder if America really would like this Jesus.  Looking at the list above, I really don't think that Jesus would be very popular here, because the things listed above certainly don't seem very popular in our culture today.

Jesus' testimony and life were powerful enough, and annoying and dangerous enough, to get Him killed.  Jesus said that His followers could expect the same treatment.  Christians, if our values and actions are being applauded by those that don't know Jesus, we probably aren't living as Jesus did. 

Popularity is achieved by not offending people, by having a message that everyone likes, and by telling people what they want to hear.  Jesus fulfilled none of those requirements.  He offended people daily.  His message was rejected by most.  He refused to tell people what they wanted to hear- instead, He told the truth. 

The myth of the popular Jesus needs to be exposed for what it is.  A myth.  Christians like me have to realize that Jesus was not popular, nor were His actions and beliefs popular.  Therefore, mine won't be either.  I have to realize that what I teach and preach, if I am being Biblical, will leave more people upset than happy.  I have to realize that stands I take will be increasingly out of step with what is politically correct and easy.  I have to realize that this world will hate me, just as it hated my hero.

That's tough.  Like everyone, I want to be liked.  I want to be approved of.  I don't like to cause conflict.  I'll bet Jesus, in His human nature, was that way too.  However, He subordinated those to the will of His Father and to the truth.  If you are a Christian, you have to as well.  Whatever you do, don't buy into the myth of the popular Jesus anymore.  Discover the Biblical Jesus and follow Him.

5 Hard Financial Truths

1.  It all boils down to how much you spend.  The number one determiner of your financial situation is not how much you make.  It is how much you spend.  You will always be able to spend more than you make.  Instead of lamenting your lack of income, get a hold on your spending.  There are people who make less than $30,000 per year that are in better financial shape than other who make over $100,000 per year. 

2.  Your spending habits are a great indicator of the condition of your heart.  This doesn't mean your physical condition- this means the spiritual condition of your heart.  Where you devote your two most precious resources- your time and your money- reveal what is most important to you.  Many Christian people would be astounded to find out that they are actually idolaters, because the trail of money and their spending habits would lead to something other than God as their number one priority.

3.  Whoever you owe owns you.  The Bible tells us that the borrower is slave to the lender.  Never before in human history have we seen such voluntary slavery, with credit card and student loan debt skyrocketing.  Until you are debt-free, you are a slave to whoever you owe money to.  You will go to work for 40 hours a week just to hand over the fruits of your labor to someone else.  You don't get to enjoy what you have earned.  The person or bank who holds your debt gets to enjoy what you have worked for.  Sounds like slavery to me.

4.  It's not your money- it never has been.  Nothing in this world belongs to us.  We use it for a short time, then we die, and someone else uses it for a while, then they die, and someone else uses it, and so on and so forth.  We don't own anything.  The question isn't, "What will I do with my money?"  The question is, "What will I do with God's money?"

The major financial question facing the Christian isn't, "How much of my money do I give to God?"  It is "How much of God's money do I get to keep for myself?"  When you make this mindset shift, you begin to understand how far we have drifted from what God wants us to do with the resources He's given us. 

5.  What you need and what you want are two completely different things.   My grandmother had a framed picture with the motto from the 20's- "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."  That was the statement of what has been called the Greatest Generation.  I doubt very seriously that motto would be very popular today.  The concept of "doing without" is so reprehensible in this culture, because we have confused "wants" with "needs."  We can scarcely differentiate between the two.  The wise person realizes that wants and needs are different.  He or she prioritizes needs, takes care of them, and only then takes care of the "wants."  The fool only sees what he wants, and then expects someone else to take care of his needs.

All pastors should say THIS to their churches about the election . . .

Jesus' most unpopular marketing strategy

I was reading in John 6 the other day- this was a time where Jesus was getting very popular.  He had many followers and was bringing them in by the truckload.  He was so popular that the people were about to make Him the king by force.

Then He looked at the crowd and said, "Bite me."

Well, He actually said this- "“I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man (literally, 'Bite me') and drink his blood, you have no life in you." (John 6:53).  The Bible then says that this statement caused many, if not most, of the crowd to desert Him.

Why would Jesus do such a terrible thing?  Why would He turn what could have been thousands of potential believers away from the Kingdom of God?  Didn't their souls matter to Him?  Didn't He love them?  I'll bet His disciples weren't very happy with this turn of events.  There had been a large number of them and now there were only twelve left.

I imagine that if a pastor preached his church from thousands down to twelve, especially with just one statement, that he wouldn't be senior pastor very long.  

The reason I write this is that Catalyst is going through a period of growth right now.  We are seeing more people at church than we ever have at this time of year, something that church growth gurus refer to as "momentum."  As a church, we constantly think about preaching the gospel to INCREASE the church.

But I've never thought of a strategy that would make 95% of the people LEAVE the church.

Jesus did.  This was not a slip up or a gaffe.  He knew exactly what He was doing when He said these words.  He knew exactly what would happen when He said them, and He chose it anyway.  There must have been a good reason for it, something that Jesus knew was necessary.  It might even be necessary in American churches today.

 Apparently, Jesus wasn't very impressed with people who followed Him but didn't want to know Him.  

This is the meaning behind the, "You must eat my flesh and drink my blood," statement.   Jesus is teaching that unless you allow Me to invade your life; unless you allow Me to come into your very being and live My life through you, you really are lost.  Jesus was saying to His followers that there was a major difference between casual and committed.  He also implied that He didn't even see the need for the casual to stick around.  It was better if they just left and didn't maintain the illusion of being true committed believers.

Someone once asked me, "If Paul or Peter or even Jesus visited your town, would your church be the one they would choose to go and worship at?  Would your church be the one where they would recognize the teachings and practices that they taught 2000 years ago?  Or would they walk into your church and see something so different, so incongruent, and so worldly that they wouldn't even recognize it as Biblical Christianity?"

With Jesus, intimacy is the goal.  With American Christianity, numbers are the goal.  With one statement, Jesus destroyed the false idol of success that exists in modern American Christianity.  It shows what Jesus values, and the reason we have a problem with it is that it exposes the fact that we value something completely different.