Oh, Lord- how faithful they are

One of the frustrating things about being a pastor is a rainy Sunday.

They told us in seminary that if it rains on a Sunday, you can expect up to one-third of your people to stay home. That probably harkens back to the days when transportation was by horse-drawn carriage and no one wanted to go out into the field and hitch up the team in those kinds of conditions, let alone travel on a muddy road where you would most likely get stuck in your Sunday best clothes.

It is unbelievably frustrating for pastors to see people sidelined by rain. On Sundays when it rains, such as yesterday, it is difficult to not get angry at people who would go to work in the rain, go to school in the rain, go to a UK basketball game in the rain, but not to church.

Well, this isn't a blog castigating people who stay home when it rains. Quite the opposite.

One of my long-time mentors told me, when I asked him what was one regret he had in ministry, "I wish I would have spent more time appreciating who was there rather than being mad at who was absent."

Yesterday, on a dark, rainy Sunday morning, there were tons of people at church. There were lots that were missing, but there were many more who WERE there than who weren't.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

Every Sunday, people set aside time in their Sunday morning to come to Catalyst to worship, to participate in the community, to fellowship, and to be part of the Body of Christ.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

Every Sunday, people give of their hard-earned money to support the church. We don't scare people into giving. We don't say that they will burn in hell if they don't. The people give of their own free will and their own choice. And each week we have enough to meet all our needs.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

We've been a church for almost eight years now. We have never missed a Sunday; never called off worship for Christmas or rain or snow or ice. There have been people attending Catalyst Christian Church for four-hundred and fourteen Sundays in a row.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

We have Catalyst members who are foster parents, who are adoptive parents, who do missions in Honduras, Haiti, Jamaica, Kenya, India, and Nepal, who support foster and adoptive parents, who fill backpacks full of food to feed hungry kids on the weekends, who teach fatherhood skills in prisons, who serve on the worship team, who volunteer in children's ministry, who volunteer in our youth ministry, who greet and usher on Sunday mornings, who prepare communion, who prepare the baptistery for baptisms, who share their faith with friends and family and bring them to Christ, who are discipling their children in their homes, who gave Thanksgiving and Christmas to children of inmates, who serve and serve and serve and never ask for any recognition whatsoever.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

We have a congregation who gave of their treasure, above and beyond their normal giving, in order to move into our first building in 2009 and now into our current building in 2014.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

We have people who give of their time to lead community groups to pastor and teach people, and people who give up a night a week to host and attend these groups. They are growing each day closer to the Lord.

Oh, Lord, how faithful they are.

I could go on. The faithfulness of the people in the church is amazing. What I listed was just a small portion of what goes on daily in the lives of Christians. No media, no front page news, no announcement or plaques or awards given. Just day to day faithfulness of the believer in Christ.

When I'm tempted to get upset at people who stay home on a rainy day, Lord, remind me of the amazing amount of faithfulness demonstrated by the people. Pastors, I encourage you to do the same. Remember the words of my very wise mentor:

"I wish I would have spent more time appreciating who was there rather than being mad at who wasn't."

The Power of Twelve Short Words

We speak a lot of words. Experts tell us that the average man uses between 8000 and 10,000 words a day. The average woman uses 20,000-plus words per day. Most words we speak are rather meaningless; they don't carry life-changing truths or convey great thoughts or really make a hill of beans difference in the end.

That's why when special words come along they have such power. 

I do a lot of counseling, both personal and family. I do marriage counseling. I do parental counseling. As a pastor, people come to me for advice, for God's perspective on their problems, for help, for just about anything, really. I've seen a lot of advice and given a lot of advice (some good, some bad), but I always come back to these twelve words that I discovered several years ago.

I have found that those who are able to consistently do what these twelve words say, day in and day out, live wonderful lives. They are good fathers. They are good mothers. They are good employees. They are good bosses. They are good husbands. They are good wives. They are good at just about everything entailing human interaction. They have a remarkable ability to relate, to connect, to have good marriages, happy homes, and effective careers. All by following twelve simple words.

What, pray tell, ARE these twelve words that will almost certainly guarantee success?

Here they are. Straight from the Bible. The book of James, actually. James 1:19:

                  "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."

Rather underwhelming, isn't it?

Yet, so true.

Think about it. What would your marriage be like (if you are married) if you and your spouse, every day, practiced these twelve words? What if you were quick to listen? What if instead of jumping to conclusions or speaking out of turn, you instead were quick to listen and slow to speak? What would your marriage look like if you, instead of becoming instantly angry, were slow to anger?

I'll tell you what your marriage would look like. It would be wonderful.

What would your interactions with your children be if you practiced these twelve words as a parent? What if you were quick to listen to your children instead of being the one who was always talking? What words have you spoken out of haste or out of anger that have caused major damage in your relationship with your children? What words would you do anything in the world if you could just take them back?

Twelve words. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

I counsel couples that I marry to do this. I counsel couples that come to me with marriage problems to do this. I counsel parents to do this with their children, and children to do this with their parents. It really seems fairly obvious, doesn't it? 

Yet, how many of us practice it? How many of us not only neglect this advice but actively do the opposite? How many of us would describe ourselves as people who are slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to become angry?

I would say that is far more common. Look at the results of it in our homes, our schools, our workplaces, our marriages, our friendships.

Today, write these twelve powerful words down and vow to practice them every day. Today, look for a situation where you can be quick to listen. Look for a chance to be slow to speak. Look for an opportunity to be slow to anger. You'll be amazed at how different your interactions with people will be. You'll be amazed at the peace and calm that settles in your home. You'll be amazed at the results you see in life.

The power of twelve simple words. Use them to change your life today.

Why Ash Wednesday is Essential to the Christian Life

I'm from a tradition that doesn't make a big deal out of Ash Wednesday.

I'm not Catholic or Lutheran or Episcopalian. I don't pastor a liturgical, traditional church. I'm an evangelical, non-denominational pastor, so traditional days like Ash Wednesday are rarely even mentioned in the circles I run in.

However, this has been to our detriment.

Evangelical Christians do a lot of things well. We give to all kinds of charities and causes. We are excellent at reaching others for Christ. Out of all segments of Christianity, we are the ones most likely to attend church, to give regularly, to be involved in Bible studies, to volunteer, to adopt children, to go on mission trips, and to generally carry on the work of the church.

As you notice, the emphasis on that list is "DO."

Evangelical Christians are great at "doing" the work of the kingdom.

However, we've missed a big part of our faith. We're so concerned with doing the work of the Kingdom that many of us have missed the relationship with Christ that drives that work.  The biggest key to that relationship, the starting point of that relationship, is repentance.

We as people are broken, sinful people. We are self-centered. We disobey God's commands regularly and with very little remorse. We use the Lord's name in vain, we lie, we purposefully seek out porn, we routinely live together before marriage, we actively condone evil; we do all kinds of things that should never be present in the life of a person under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

This is nothing new. This has been present since the very beginning of humanity. People have always recognized this as part of the struggle of being a faithful believer in Jesus Christ.

However, the language of repentance, once so widely practiced and used in Christian circles, has all but disappeared from American Christianity. Where are the sermons calling people to repent? Where are the messages from pastors to their people to fast, to mourn, to feel the weight of their sin? Where are the people who routinely confess their sins and weep over their brokenness and rebellion against the Lord?

If those things are around, I sure don't see any.

What I see are pastors bending over backwards not to offend, to try to put a positive spin on sin, to not speak about it at all for the risk of offending someone. On the other hand, I see Christians leaving churches because a pastor dared to CALL a sin a sin. I see Christians angered over the fact that a pastor would dare to preach on something that is present in their lives. If you doubt me, ask a pastor to preach on gluttony. Or greed. Or envy. You'll see how popular he is by the amount of anonymous letters he gets and the decrease in numbers the next Sunday.

Yes, we have stripped the language of repentance, self-denial, and brokenness out of the church. We have embraced the political correctness of our world that says there is no evil, there is no good, everything is equal. We have bought the line that daring to call sin a sin and suggesting that a person needs repentance and change is "judgmental" and of course, Jesus never judged anyone.

So, what we are left with are a bunch of churches who have been made as comfortable as possible on their road to hell. Jesus said it Himself in Luke 13:5, "Unless you repent, you too will perish." It doesn't get much clearer than that.

That's why Ash Wednesday is essential to the Christian life. It is the one day of the year we focus on repentance, on brokenness, on being reconciled to God, on turning from our sins, of weeping over the sin in our lives and in our world, and beginning to deny ourselves instead of indulging ourselves.

Think about this as you enter the Easter season. Without repentance, no one will see the Kingdom of God.

I'm turning into a 95-year-old man, and I'm loving every minute of it

I'm sick of cool, hip, and trendy, probably because I've never been any of those things and never will be any of those things.

However, I've noticed that the things I value and find interesting are things that have been around for ages:

-I am more intrigued by the ancient spiritual discipline of fasting than I am of a young preacher with tattoos and Versace glasses.

-I am more interested in my kids being creative and experiencing the outdoors than I am of them having the latest and greatest media device.

-I am more interested in writing hand-written letters, putting a stamp on the envelope, and mailing it than I am in sending Facebook messages, texts, and emails.

-I am more interested in sitting down as a family at night and having a long, possibly hour-long meal where no one is in a hurry and everyone talks.

-I am more interested in sermons preached by John Wesley and George Whitfield in the 1700s than I am of the American Megachurch preacher today.

I think it's safe to say that I am turning into a 95-year-old man, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Why?

I really don't know. Maybe it's because we live in a world of such flash, quickness, instant gratification, invasiveness, and superficiality that my soul is simply tired of it. Maybe there is something within me that longs for something that has withstood the test of time, wisdom that was discovered over several generations, practiced for many more generations, and has been discarded as of late because they were "old-school" and "irrelevant."

I've noticed that my life has been increasingly moving backwards in the last few years. I now mainly use cash, not credit cards, for purchases. My reading is increasingly about men like Charles Spurgeon, Dwight Moody, Bart Stone- great preachers of the 1700s and 1800s who preached the gospel fearlessly and uncompromisingly. Comparing their preaching to what is heard now from American pulpits is sad to say the least.

One of my professional new years' resolutions was to write to at least one person per day- a handwritten letter, stamped and sealed and sent by snail mail.

I increasingly emphasize the goodness of traditional marriage. That's certainly not very cool, hip, or trendy these days, but I can't help but think that the God-centered, Christian marriages that I observe around me are the places of the greatest amount of happiness and goodness I've seen.

I'd rather be out in the backyard playing with my kids practicing sports than just about anything else. The couch, tv, and internet are terrible substitutes for that time with my kids. Like I said, I'm not cool or trendy at all. And I'm getting worse every day. And I'm loving it more every day.

More than anything, I'm finding my wisdom not from the millions of sources that shout for my attention on Twitter but in the Word of God. The longer I live, the more I realize that the Word of God is the greatest thing in the world. Immersing myself in the Word of God has led to the greatest amount of happiness, joy, and goodness than anything else I could invest myself in during my short time on this earth.

Like I said, I'm going backwards. As a GenXer, I'm supposed to be looking on all of that stuff as ancient, outdated, old-school, repressive nonsense. I can just hear some of you saying, "What's next, an Amish community?"

Not yet. My wife doesn't like beards.

However, I encourage you to do the same. Re-discover the wisdom of those who went before you, who lived in a different time and era, where the superficial was not celebrated, where wisdom was valued, and where technology didn't invade our most private and personal areas of life.

Write a hand-written letter. Turn off the tv, computer, iPad, iPhone, and eat a long family dinner with no other purpose than to be together. Go outside and play ball. Go camping. Read a book- not an e-book, but a real book with pages and a cover that requires thought and reflection. Remove yourself from the superficiality of modern life and delve into the depths of the human soul. I think you'll find it very refreshing and very rewarding.

What you criticize in others is usually what you hate about yourself

I remember an old mentor of mine telling me that what you criticize in others, you hate about yourself.

That's very true.

How many of us know someone who says that they hate drama, but they are usually the cause of it? How many of us know someone who is always saying how "judgmental" everyone is, and that person is the most judgmental person around? How many of us know someone who says they "hate gossip" as they are gossiping about others?

Yes- the shortcomings we see in others are most often the things we hate about ourselves.

Psychologists call this "projection." We ourselves struggle with a certain fault, but instead of dealing with it ourselves, we simply criticize it in others. Many times, the person we are accusing doesn't have that particular fault. It just happens to be lurking beneath the surface of our personas, and we see the other person's actions through that lens.

Pastors are not immune to this. If you want to know what your preacher is struggling with, look for themes in what he preaches against. If there are common things that he preaches on with regularity, ten bucks says it's a personal struggle for him. The preacher who constantly preaches about sex is most likely struggling with porn or adultery or homosexuality. The preacher who constantly preaches about money is most likely struggling with materialism and consumerism. The preacher who constantly preaches against gossip or drama or anything else is most likely struggling with it himself.

I've learned that what other people attack in me is, many times, a window into their soul. They are showing me what they are personally struggling with.

I remember one time a person accused me of being judgmental. He went on to tell me how all Christians were so judgmental and how all of them were hypocrites and how all of them were such jerks to be around. Hmmm. I wonder if he could hear himself. I wonder if he realized how judgmental he was being as he accused other of being judgmental. See, what he hated about himself he was criticizing in me.

Dishonest people will say that everyone is dishonest.
Cheating people will say that everyone is a cheater.
Untrustworthy people will say that no one is trustworthy.
Racist people will call everyone else a racist.
People who cause drama will always accuse others of starting drama.

It's human nature 101.

So, today, whatever you find fault with in others- take a look at yourself and ask yourself, "Is this person really doing this?"

Or:

Do I see this person as untrustworthy because I myself am untrustworthy and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as racist because I myself am racist and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as greedy because I myself am greedy and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as instigating drama because I myself instigate drama and assume everyone else does too?

What you criticize in others is usually what you hate about yourself. Work on your own faults, and you will be amazed at how quickly other people "change."

Why I Need Sunday Morning Worship More Than Ever

I'm a busy man.

I am a husband. I am a father. All three of the children in my home play sports and are involved in extra-curriculars. I pastor a church. I referee high school soccer in the fall. I coach my son's basketball team in the winter and my daughter's soccer team in the spring. I do prison ministry twice a week. I go to soccer tournaments and tennis tournaments and soccer games and basketball games and taxi drive kids to practices and games and events. I lead a small group on Wednesday nights and another discipleship group on Friday morning. I love mission trips and do trips to Asia at least once every two years to preach and teach and encourage the kids in our orphanage in India.

That's why I need Sunday morning worship more than ever.

See, without it, I would lose perspective. I would think that my life's purpose truly was soccer tournaments and paying bills.

With all of that busyness going on, my true life purpose would be lost. I am not here to ensure that my kids play sports. I am not here to plan activity after activity. I am not here to be the busiest and most successful version of myself possible.

I am here to fulfill God's purpose for me. That's it. That's all. That's what Sunday morning consistently reminds me of.

People who don't have regular, consistent worship on Sunday mornings are in danger of believing that their life's purpose is to accumulate things, to be comfortable, to be successful, to be the busiest version of themselves. How tragic.

Nothing wrong with being successful. I want to be successful. I really do. It's just that that's not why I'm here.

Nothing wrong with playing sports. I love sports. It's just that that's not why I am here.

God did not put together twenty-three chromosomes from my mom and twenty-three more from my dad, knit me together and bring me into this world so that I could make as much money as I could and have the biggest and nicest house on the street and be as comfortable as possible until I die.

He created me for intimacy. With Him. He created me to be in close fellowship with Him, to enjoy His glory, to enjoy His power and might, to enjoy His love. He created me to bring as many people to that intimacy with Him as possible. He created me with a purpose- a purpose that is lost in the daily grind and the idolatry that shouts out to us from every advertisement and every street corner.

Sunday worship is a time where God reminds you that you are a human BEING- not a human DOING.

The truth is, I need weekly to be in the presence of my church family. I need to sing praises to God. Yes, I know that worship is something directed towards God, but true worship changes the person. It cuts through the fog that this world throws at you. It cuts through the lie that you are here for yourself- that you are here to be comfortable, to be happy, to be successful, to have it all your way. It refocuses you on the fact that life is short, life is a gift, and life has a purpose that only God can give you.

The truth is, I need weekly to hear God's word preached. Yes. Let me tell you a secret about pastors- we are the first ones to hear our sermons. They change us probably more than they ever change the people that listen. God's word reminds me about my purpose. Preaching reminds me about my purpose.

Miss a few months of Sunday worship and your entire life's orientation changes. With God's church, worship, fellowship, etc out of sight and out of mind, your life orients towards what IS in front of you- money, success, sex, food, idolatry, sports, comfort, leisure. The concept of God becomes a distant and remote blip that occasionally registers but not in much capacity. Time habits become self-centered. Money habits become self-centered. God moves off the throne of your life and you move onto it. Your purpose becomes hazy as you settle for small-minded pursuits that will consume you and dull you until something jars you awake- usually a tragedy such as the possibility of your own death.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been privileged to give end-of-life pastoral care to people facing their own deaths. Yes, it is a privilege, because people facing their own deaths have a clarity about life that very few do. They have a crystal-clear view of what is important in life, they have a remarkable clarity about mistakes they have made and priorities that are wrong. A very common lament among people facing their own death is the fact that they went about life all wrong. They realize with sadness that they missed the boat, missed their calling- one man even told me that he had spent most of his life doing the things he hated because those things were the easiest.

That's why I need Sunday morning worship. I don't want to be one of the ones at the end of my life that laments and regrets my priorities in life. Without Sunday morning worship re-orienting me to my purpose and calling, I would drift into the path of least resistance- slowly drifting downstream in a culture of mediocrity doing neither what I was put on this earth to do nor even what would be significant in a hundred years. Sunday morning worship with my church family clarifies my purpose and calling.

Without it, I would run the risk of thinking that tv shows, entertainment, and comforts are what life is all about. How sad a life that would be. Don't miss a Sunday. You need it now more than ever.

If there's one thing I'm 100% fed up about, it's this . . . .

I'm sick of people in positions of authority not getting the thanks/respect they deserve.

Yes, I said it.

We live in such an anti-authority culture right now. Cops are getting shot. If they aren't getting shot, they are being baited, insulted, screamed at, you name it. Teachers are being cussed out by students and parents. Pastors are maligned and gossiped about. Parents are ridiculed. Just about anyone in authority right now is in this culture's crosshairs.

When I was in school, I couldn't stand fellow students who disrespected the teacher. I even got upset at students who disrespected the substitute teacher. I hate anarchy and chaos, which is what disrespect for authority always creates. I hate mob mentalities and I hate social breakdown. All of that happens when authority is disrespected.

I was talking to the husband of a teacher who teaches fifth grade. He told me that just this past week, one of her students called her a "bitch" and said, "I have no idea how you are married." Another student had threatened her physically. These are ten and eleven year olds doing this to adults.

Cops tell me that if they drive down certain streets, they are jeered and mocked and insulted as they drive by.

I'm tired of the anti-authority climate we are living in right now.

It is tearing apart our communities. It is tearing apart our nation. I don't want to be part of a nation where cops are the enemy and thugs are the victims. I don't want to be part of a community where law and order has broken down and no one wants to be a cop anymore due to the lack of respect and safety. I don't want my children going to schools where teachers are cussed, disrespected, and unable to do their jobs because of the constant discipline problems of disrespectful, unruly kids. I don't want to live in a society where those who labor and toil are the bad guys and those who are rude, insolent, and incorrigible are seen as the good guys. I don't want to live in a country where thugs and hoodlums wait for an authority figure to make a mistake and then pounce with lawsuits and public shaming, making everyone else walk on eggshells afraid to do their jobs.

That's when societal breakdown happens. That's what I see happening in America right now.

Even those who don't actively oppose those in authority- do you actively support those in authority?

Too often, we set up a welfare-type relationship with those in authority. In a welfare relationship, all the gifts and services flow one way: from the authority to the people. There is nothing that goes from the people to the authority. Welfare-type relationships are always unhealthy. When one side does all the giving and the other side does all the taking, it never ends well. You can change that.

Move towards a more "community-type" relationship with authority. Unlike welfare, in community relationships gifts and services flow both ways. People are both givers AND receivers. These are much more healthy relationships.

Ask yourself this question: how do I benefit from those in authority over me?  How does your child benefit from his or her teacher? That's obvious. Now the harder question- how does my child's teacher benefit from me? How do I bless him or her? How do I encourage him or her? That's community, not welfare.

How do I benefit from the policeman down the street? That's obvious. If a thug breaks into your home, he is the first responder. Now the harder question- how does the policeman benefit from me? How do I bless him? How do I encourage him? How do I make his job easier and more enjoyable? That's community, not welfare.

Church members, how do you benefit from the work of your pastor? Has he counseled you in marriage? Has there been any wisdom you've gleaned from a sermon? You wouldn't be going to the church you are going to if you were benefiting from his work. Now the tougher question- how does your pastor benefit from you being part of the church? That's community, not welfare.

Get rid of the welfare-type relationships we have with authority and begin a community-type relationship with those in authority around us.

Here are some recommendations that I will make so that you can be a different person in this culture:

1) If you see a cop or cops at a restaurant, buy them a milkshake, take it over to them, and tell them that you appreciate what they do.

2) Write the elders in your church a thank-you note for their oversight of the church. There are good elders and there are bad elders, but I've never seen a lazy elder. Being an elder is a lot of work and the Bible says they deserve our respect. Let them know you appreciate them.

3) Support your teacher when she calls out your kid for misbehavior. Yes. Your kid isn't perfect and most likely isn't being persecuted by a mean teacher. When I was a kid, my parents were always on my teachers' side. It was good for me. I survived. So will your kid. You will be an anomaly to your kids' teachers, because they certainly don't see much of that these days.

4) Pray for your pastor. Then write him a note telling him you prayed for him. You have no idea how much it means to us when we find out we are being prayed for by the congregation we serve.

5) Do something kind totally at random. When my family was in India, one of the people in our church came over and mowed and edged my lawn. I hadn't been able to get it done before we left and it would have been a jungle nightmare when we got back. When we arrived back home, my yard looked amazing. That has to be one of the kindest things someone has ever done for me as a pastor.

Whatever you do, we need to stop this anti-authority thing we have going on in this country. Authority is necessary. Is it always right? No. Those who abuse their authority should be removed at once. However, don't make the good ones pay for the actions of the bad ones. Support the good ones. Be a blessing to those in authority over you. Our country is unraveling before our very eyes, and it's because we have lost respect for the institutions that have in the past held us together. We need to be above the cultural norm. Start appreciating those in authority over you, because they have a big job. I fear for the future of a country that consistently denigrates and disrespects those who are called to lead.

Actually, I don't fear for the future of that country, because there won't BE a future for that country.