When you simply don't "feel like it"

One of the things I do as a pastor, in the role of a shepherd, is round up strays. On any given Sunday, there are any number of people who for whatever reason miss church. Most people like to know that they've been missed, so if I notice that someone is missing, I give them a call or send them a message to let them know that we missed them.

I was following up with a guy who missed church last Sunday. He's been having some tough times, and he said, "I just woke up Sunday morning and I just didn't feel like coming to church."

We've all been there. Let me let out a little secret- a lot of pastors feel that way too.

However, I said, "What does that have to do with anything?"

I went on, "There are times I don't feel like coming to church, and I'm a pastor! I also have times where I don't feel like playing sports with my kids. Sometimes I don't feel like praying. Sometimes I don't feel like paying a bill, or going to work, or talking with my wife, or working out. There are times I don't feel like mowing the grass, doing the laundry, washing the car, going to one of my kids' ball games, or even reading the Bible."

"So you're equating worship of God with mowing the grass?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I'm equating it with life. Why is it that even though we don't feel like doing those things, we do them anyway?  Answer: because it's our duty."

Duty.

The word "duty" is a bad word in American culture right now, especially in the church. American Christians have bought into a false ideology that says we have to feel it for it to be real. If we "feel" close to God, we are; and if we don't feel close to God, we aren't. If we "feel" like going to church, then it is real; if we don't "feel" like going to church, we are being hypocrites if we go. If we don't "feel" like worshiping, we shouldn't.

Maybe that's why the church is in the shape it's in today- we have based our entire concept of spirituality on a fleeting feeling that has more to do with our emotional state at the time than it does on any real spiritual condition or truth.

The Bible is full of stories of people who did things even when they didn't "feel" like it.

I doubt very seriously Jesus "felt" like going to the cross, but He did it anyway.

I doubt very seriously the apostle Paul "felt" like getting flogged, stoned, shipwrecked, beaten with rods, and slandered; yet he did it anyway.

I doubt very seriously that Peter "felt" like getting crucified upside down for his preaching, yet he did it anyway.  And the list goes on.

What set the heroes of the faith apart from the others was the fact that they emphasized duty over feelings. Yes, Christians- we have a duty. Sometimes we aren't going to feel like praying, studying, sharing our faith, attending church, or making a God-honoring decision. So what? Life is full of things we do without "feeling like it." Why should our faith be any different?

Here is what I, as a pastor, am imploring all of you to do. When faced with a decision, do not give regard to your feelings, which change according to mood, circumstances, and whims. Give total regard to your IDENTITY.

I told my friend, "Stop paying attention to how you feel, and instead, ask yourself "What does a Christian do? Does a Christian attend church on Sunday? Yes. So that's what you do. There will be times when you are completely and totally excited about church, and there are other times when you would rather be fishing or shopping or sleeping in or watching Sportscenter. But what difference does that make to a Christian? If you are a Christian, then do what a Christian does."

Do what a Christian does. It's a revolutionary concept.  But it's one that is desperately needed in the church.

Are you a Christian? Then do what a Christian does. Christians don't hem and haw when it comes to being part of a church.  Christians don't hem and haw when it comes to prayer, studying the Word, or sharing their faith. Christians don't hem and haw and fart around when it comes to practicing their faith in day-to-day living.

Athletes train when they don't feel like it.
Workers work when they don't feel like it.
Parents parent when they don't feel like it.
Spouses love the other when they don't feel like it.

Why?

Because that's their duty.

Yes, Christians, we have spiritual duties, and many of us have been woefully negligent of them. We have cast our spiritual life as something to be practiced when we "feel like it." Well, that is why the church is so impotent and lukewarm. It's not that we don't love Jesus- it's that we have neglected our duties as Christians. We only practice our faith, or attend church, or pray, or anything else when we are in the mood.

No great athlete has ever become great because he practiced only when he "felt like it."
No great employee has ever become great because he went to work only when he "felt like it."
No great parent has ever become a great parent when she only parented when she "felt like it."
No great marriage has ever become great when the spouses loved each other only when they "felt like it."

No person has ever developed a strong faith when they only were spiritual when they "felt like it."

So, here's the honest truth: a lot of our walk with Christ is duty. Yes it is. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. Part of the Christian faith is work; hard, unrelenting, thankless work. There will be Sunday mornings where you don't feel like worshiping. There will be Monday afternoons when you don't feel like praying. There will be Thursday mornings when you don't feel like forgiving your spouse. That's life. Deal with it.

Some of us believe that we have to "feel" it for it to be real.  I disagree. It isn't what you feel that makes it real; it's what you are committed to that makes it real. I would even go as far as to say that you, your identity, is simply made up of the sum total of your commitments.

As a pastor, I'm impressed with someone who has every reason not to show up on a Sunday morning, every reason in the world not to forgive, every reason in the world not to pray, every reason in the world not to serve, but does it anyway.  I am more impressed with that person than a person who shows up eagerly. Why? Because anyone can serve when they are eager. That takes no great dedication. But the one whose life is falling apart, the one who has been hurt, the one who is exhausted, the one who has every excuse in the world not to stay faithful but stays faithful anyway? Now that's impressive. That's faith. And that's what is woefully absent from most if not all of our churches today.

I think it's time that we as Christians, especially pastors, start emphasizing the word "duty" again. It is a bad word in churches today. It connotates dead and stale religion; a "going-through-the-motions" kind of deal, rather than a "My-heart-is-in-it-and-therefore-it's-real" mentality. Nothing could be further from the truth. Duty was what built the church in the first place. The early church, and early church leaders, had an overwhelming sense of duty that motivated them beyond what felt right. It is because of their unrelenting sense of duty that now one out of every three people on this planet calls himself or herself a Christian.

If you don't have a strong sense of Christian duty, you will fall away every time the ebb and flow of passion reaches a low point. You will justify your dereliction of duty by saying, "I don't want to be a hypocrite- I don't feel it so it must not be real," but in the end, it will simply be a shirking of your responsibility and duty to God. We don't put up with dereliction of duty in other areas of life- we don't allow ourselves to shirk our parenting responsibilities, do we? How many mothers truly feel like cleaning up vomit at 2 am? Yet we do it anyway, because it's our duty.

One thing is certain- every time that I, as a pastor, have fought through my apathy and done my duty even though I didn't feel like it, I am always glad I did. It formed character within me, it formed faith within me, and it formed morality and righteousness within me. I am challenging you to do the same. Let's bring the word duty back into the church. Let's do what we need to do even when we don't feel like it. Let's do what Christians do, even when we'd rather do something else.

Duty.

What I've learned from the persecuted church overseas that American churches need to start doing

How can a church, whose heroes all died as criminals, whose Bible is filled with stories of people being arrested, tortured, and killed by angry mobs and government forces, be part of the mainstream culture?

Answer: it really can't.

Oh, it can for awhile. America has proven that. Christianity has been the majority religion here in America since its inception. It still is, and probably will be for a long time. Faith isn't as easy to stamp out in a society or a people as you might think, no matter what the liberal press and militant atheist social media warriors would like you to believe.

However, there is no doubt that America is changing.

The guys who have been in youth ministry have known this for a long time.

I was a youth minister for 9 years before being a senior pastor, and the front-page news headlines screaming about America's changing spiritual landscape was common knowledge to all of us ten years ago. Working with the upcoming generation, we all saw it.

And honestly, a lot of us welcomed it.

See, Christianity in its truest form can only exist when it is a minority outside the mainstream. When Christianity becomes popular, when it becomes cool, when there are societal benefits associated with being part of a church or being called a Christian, the true faith is watered down.

When Christianity is mainstream, people will join a church because of friends, or because of business contacts, or because of social status, or simply because "that's what a good American does." When churches are filled with people who want the benefits of Christianity but aren't in relationship with Jesus, aren't willing to pay the costs, not willing to accomplish the Great Commission, aren't willing to sacrifice anything at all, the church suffers.  Big time.

When Christianity is moved to the fringes, when it isn't cool, convenient, or popular, the church sheds a lot of dead weight. When the heat is turned up, when Christianity begins to cost, when Christianity begins to be dangerous and risky, there is a major pruning that goes on.  When that pruning is over, all that is left are hardcore, committed disciples of Jesus Christ. That's when Christianity begins to exist in its purest form.

That's what's happening in America right now. Casual, lukewarm Christianity is disappearing. And I say good riddance.  God is refining His church right now. He has gone into full-blown Gardener mode (see John 15) and is ruthlessly pruning off dead, unproductive branches of His church. He is refining His church, destroying casual, nominal Christianity and leaving His church full of people who are serious about discipleship.

How do I know this?  I spend a lot of time with Christians in other countries who are distinct minorities.

I think that American churches need to learn from them. Here are two things that I believe the American church will need to do in order to thrive in a post-Christian America.

1) De-centralize.  Our brethren in China showed me one thing: they do not have massive places of gathering. They do not have real estate. They do not have offices. They do not have anything, really, other than their homes. Whatever you have can be confiscated by the government. So, they are de-centralized. Their churches are incredibly hard to shut down, because there ARE no churches. At least, no church buildings. One house gets shut down, they move to another.

Also, their leadership is de-centralized. If the police break into a church meeting and demand to know who the pastor is, all raise their hands. If they arrest one, another takes his place. Their locations and their leadership is de-centralized, and therefore impossible to destroy. Right now, here in America, leaders are easily identified and buildings are easily spotted. Learn the lesson from our persecuted brethren and be ready for the day when we will need to act as they do.  De-centralize.

2) Orphan care.  Churches outside the mainstream need to look for ways that they can have legitimacy in the eyes of the unbelievers. Every society has helpless members, and the most prominent are the orphan children. Our persecuted brethren overseas all have orphanages.  This is for two reasons- one, because the Bible commands it, and two, because it afford the church protection. If a church runs an orphanage with 150 children, what happens when the government comes in and threatens to shut the church down?  The leaders say, "Okay, these children are now your problem."

No local government wants to deal with orphan children, so they back off. Also, many local people are won over to Jesus Christ by seeing the compassion of the church for the orphan children.

I see these two things- de-centralization and orphan care- as being two things of absolute necessity in the American church in the coming years. These are things our persecuted brethren have done to survive in their communities. American churches need to do this as well.

So, to the average churchgoer, are you willing to raise your hand and say you are the pastor? Are you ready to take over leadership of the church when your pastor is arrested? Are you ready to take seriously the care of orphans?

The time to decide that is now. The time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining. When it starts to rain, it's too late.

The time to decide these things is now, before government forces begin shutting down churches and persecuting the faithful. Decide now.  But don't worry. Our rich history is filled with people who stayed faithful in face of violent persecution. They are our heroes. They are our examples. If they faced it, so can we. God bless you all.

Parents, teach your child this one thing to ensure their success in life

I was in India when I learned the secret of life.

It was my first time in Asia. My parents had hammered manners into me as a child. I couldn't speak the local language yet I interacted with many of them, so I was careful to over-communicate my thankfulness and enjoyment and respect to the people there. (I frightened one poor lady- we were at her home and I was sitting at the table talking with some other men when she approached the table with tea. Being a good southerner, when I saw her approach the table, I stood up. I thought I was showing respect, but I startled her so much that she almost dropped the platter and spilled the tea. She thought I was leaving and that somehow she had offended me. Clash of cultures!)

I was about ready to speak at a nightly outdoor service. There were over two thousand people in attendance, about half Christian and about half Hindu. Many were people who were curious because they had never seen a white person before. I was a first for many of them.

When it was my time to stand up to speak, I walked to the platform, sat down on the ground, took off my shoes, and then went up on stage. I preached the message along with my awesome translator, and then afterwards many people came forward to receive Christ and request baptism.

The next day, we rode with the seventy people who were going to be baptized out to a river. No baptistries were around- they used the Biblical old-school river baptisms straight out of the New Testament. One of the men, when it was his turn for baptism, turned to me and told me the following:

"I am a Hindu, from a Hindu family. I had never heard of Christ before, and I had no intention of listening last night. The only reason I showed up was that I had never seen a white person before. Well, I saw you. When you stood up to preach, I was about ready to leave, but when I saw you sit on the ground and take off your shoes, I was stunned. I said, 'This man respects us.' I was not expecting that. No man of dignity, let alone a white person, would EVER sit on the ground. That's what children do. But after you removed your shoes, I decided to sit and listen. I'm glad I did. Now I know about Jesus."

What I learned from that experience is that respect is the universal language.

Respect is the way to open doors, to open hearts, to open opportunities that were previously closed. A respectful person- a person who values others, does not insist on his or her own way, a person who uses manners, expresses gratitude, and exercises self-control especially around his or her elders is a person who is going to be successful in this life.

Respect cut through language barriers in India. I couldn't communicate words, but believe me, I was still communicating. A small gesture that I thought was insignificant was HUGE to the people of India. It pleased them greatly to see a foreigner respect their customs and ways. It opened hearts to the gospel.

Parents, raise respectful children. Do not allow your children to refer to adults by their first names. Do not let them get away without saying "Please," "Thank you," and "Yes," (not yeah). Teach your sons and daughters to hold the door for people behind them. Teach them to be polite in other peoples' homes. Teach them to over communicate their thankfulness when someone does something for them. Insist that they write thank-you notes at birthdays and Christmas.

Respect.

You raise children that do those things, and the world will open up for them.

I was at my son's taekwondo class. Class had just gotten over, and parents and children were heading for the door. I opened the door and three of the cutest little girls (couldn't have been more than 4, 5, and 6) walked through. As they went through, all three of them, almost in unison, looked me IN THE FACE and said with a smile, "Thank you sir."

I said, "Wait! Whoa!" I turned to their mother, who was right beside them, and I said, "Your children have excellent manners." I got down on the children's level and said, "Do you have any idea how nice, as an adult, it was to hear that from you? Do you have any idea how respected I feel right now? Thank you." Turning back to their mother, I said, "Your children will have no trouble in this world. If this is the way they make adults feel, they will get every job they apply for, they will get every opportunity they try for, because they have absolutely no competition."

I have worked in many places. I have hired people, managed people, and lead a staff right now. I believe I would argue that I would rather have a respectful employee than an intelligent employee. I would rather have an employee that is respectful to customers than one who got straight A's but treats people terribly. Parents, are you emphasizing respect as much as grades? Are you emphasizing respect as much as sports?

Believe me, respect is the universal language. Disrespect is the universal turn-off. People have all the time in the world for a polite, respectful person. They've got no time at all for a disrespectful jerk. If doors are closed to you, or your children, take a look at how respectful you are or they are. Do you use "sir" or "ma'am" especially when speaking to someone older? Do you use "thank you" and "please" or are they absent from your vocabulary?

Maybe your problem is that you simply aren't respectful, or your children aren't. Model respect for your children. They will follow suit. By teaching them respect, you will ensure their success in this world. They will stand out because, like I said before, they will have NO competition.