What you criticize in others is usually what you hate about yourself

I remember an old mentor of mine telling me that what you criticize in others, you hate about yourself.

That's very true.

How many of us know someone who says that they hate drama, but they are usually the cause of it? How many of us know someone who is always saying how "judgmental" everyone is, and that person is the most judgmental person around? How many of us know someone who says they "hate gossip" as they are gossiping about others?

Yes- the shortcomings we see in others are most often the things we hate about ourselves.

Psychologists call this "projection." We ourselves struggle with a certain fault, but instead of dealing with it ourselves, we simply criticize it in others. Many times, the person we are accusing doesn't have that particular fault. It just happens to be lurking beneath the surface of our personas, and we see the other person's actions through that lens.

Pastors are not immune to this. If you want to know what your preacher is struggling with, look for themes in what he preaches against. If there are common things that he preaches on with regularity, ten bucks says it's a personal struggle for him. The preacher who constantly preaches about sex is most likely struggling with porn or adultery or homosexuality. The preacher who constantly preaches about money is most likely struggling with materialism and consumerism. The preacher who constantly preaches against gossip or drama or anything else is most likely struggling with it himself.

I've learned that what other people attack in me is, many times, a window into their soul. They are showing me what they are personally struggling with.

I remember one time a person accused me of being judgmental. He went on to tell me how all Christians were so judgmental and how all of them were hypocrites and how all of them were such jerks to be around. Hmmm. I wonder if he could hear himself. I wonder if he realized how judgmental he was being as he accused other of being judgmental. See, what he hated about himself he was criticizing in me.

Dishonest people will say that everyone is dishonest.
Cheating people will say that everyone is a cheater.
Untrustworthy people will say that no one is trustworthy.
Racist people will call everyone else a racist.
People who cause drama will always accuse others of starting drama.

It's human nature 101.

So, today, whatever you find fault with in others- take a look at yourself and ask yourself, "Is this person really doing this?"

Or:

Do I see this person as untrustworthy because I myself am untrustworthy and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as racist because I myself am racist and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as greedy because I myself am greedy and I can't imagine anyone else being different?

Do I see this person as instigating drama because I myself instigate drama and assume everyone else does too?

What you criticize in others is usually what you hate about yourself. Work on your own faults, and you will be amazed at how quickly other people "change."

Why I Need Sunday Morning Worship More Than Ever

I'm a busy man.

I am a husband. I am a father. All three of the children in my home play sports and are involved in extra-curriculars. I pastor a church. I referee high school soccer in the fall. I coach my son's basketball team in the winter and my daughter's soccer team in the spring. I do prison ministry twice a week. I go to soccer tournaments and tennis tournaments and soccer games and basketball games and taxi drive kids to practices and games and events. I lead a small group on Wednesday nights and another discipleship group on Friday morning. I love mission trips and do trips to Asia at least once every two years to preach and teach and encourage the kids in our orphanage in India.

That's why I need Sunday morning worship more than ever.

See, without it, I would lose perspective. I would think that my life's purpose truly was soccer tournaments and paying bills.

With all of that busyness going on, my true life purpose would be lost. I am not here to ensure that my kids play sports. I am not here to plan activity after activity. I am not here to be the busiest and most successful version of myself possible.

I am here to fulfill God's purpose for me. That's it. That's all. That's what Sunday morning consistently reminds me of.

People who don't have regular, consistent worship on Sunday mornings are in danger of believing that their life's purpose is to accumulate things, to be comfortable, to be successful, to be the busiest version of themselves. How tragic.

Nothing wrong with being successful. I want to be successful. I really do. It's just that that's not why I'm here.

Nothing wrong with playing sports. I love sports. It's just that that's not why I am here.

God did not put together twenty-three chromosomes from my mom and twenty-three more from my dad, knit me together and bring me into this world so that I could make as much money as I could and have the biggest and nicest house on the street and be as comfortable as possible until I die.

He created me for intimacy. With Him. He created me to be in close fellowship with Him, to enjoy His glory, to enjoy His power and might, to enjoy His love. He created me to bring as many people to that intimacy with Him as possible. He created me with a purpose- a purpose that is lost in the daily grind and the idolatry that shouts out to us from every advertisement and every street corner.

Sunday worship is a time where God reminds you that you are a human BEING- not a human DOING.

The truth is, I need weekly to be in the presence of my church family. I need to sing praises to God. Yes, I know that worship is something directed towards God, but true worship changes the person. It cuts through the fog that this world throws at you. It cuts through the lie that you are here for yourself- that you are here to be comfortable, to be happy, to be successful, to have it all your way. It refocuses you on the fact that life is short, life is a gift, and life has a purpose that only God can give you.

The truth is, I need weekly to hear God's word preached. Yes. Let me tell you a secret about pastors- we are the first ones to hear our sermons. They change us probably more than they ever change the people that listen. God's word reminds me about my purpose. Preaching reminds me about my purpose.

Miss a few months of Sunday worship and your entire life's orientation changes. With God's church, worship, fellowship, etc out of sight and out of mind, your life orients towards what IS in front of you- money, success, sex, food, idolatry, sports, comfort, leisure. The concept of God becomes a distant and remote blip that occasionally registers but not in much capacity. Time habits become self-centered. Money habits become self-centered. God moves off the throne of your life and you move onto it. Your purpose becomes hazy as you settle for small-minded pursuits that will consume you and dull you until something jars you awake- usually a tragedy such as the possibility of your own death.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been privileged to give end-of-life pastoral care to people facing their own deaths. Yes, it is a privilege, because people facing their own deaths have a clarity about life that very few do. They have a crystal-clear view of what is important in life, they have a remarkable clarity about mistakes they have made and priorities that are wrong. A very common lament among people facing their own death is the fact that they went about life all wrong. They realize with sadness that they missed the boat, missed their calling- one man even told me that he had spent most of his life doing the things he hated because those things were the easiest.

That's why I need Sunday morning worship. I don't want to be one of the ones at the end of my life that laments and regrets my priorities in life. Without Sunday morning worship re-orienting me to my purpose and calling, I would drift into the path of least resistance- slowly drifting downstream in a culture of mediocrity doing neither what I was put on this earth to do nor even what would be significant in a hundred years. Sunday morning worship with my church family clarifies my purpose and calling.

Without it, I would run the risk of thinking that tv shows, entertainment, and comforts are what life is all about. How sad a life that would be. Don't miss a Sunday. You need it now more than ever.

If there's one thing I'm 100% fed up about, it's this . . . .

I'm sick of people in positions of authority not getting the thanks/respect they deserve.

Yes, I said it.

We live in such an anti-authority culture right now. Cops are getting shot. If they aren't getting shot, they are being baited, insulted, screamed at, you name it. Teachers are being cussed out by students and parents. Pastors are maligned and gossiped about. Parents are ridiculed. Just about anyone in authority right now is in this culture's crosshairs.

When I was in school, I couldn't stand fellow students who disrespected the teacher. I even got upset at students who disrespected the substitute teacher. I hate anarchy and chaos, which is what disrespect for authority always creates. I hate mob mentalities and I hate social breakdown. All of that happens when authority is disrespected.

I was talking to the husband of a teacher who teaches fifth grade. He told me that just this past week, one of her students called her a "bitch" and said, "I have no idea how you are married." Another student had threatened her physically. These are ten and eleven year olds doing this to adults.

Cops tell me that if they drive down certain streets, they are jeered and mocked and insulted as they drive by.

I'm tired of the anti-authority climate we are living in right now.

It is tearing apart our communities. It is tearing apart our nation. I don't want to be part of a nation where cops are the enemy and thugs are the victims. I don't want to be part of a community where law and order has broken down and no one wants to be a cop anymore due to the lack of respect and safety. I don't want my children going to schools where teachers are cussed, disrespected, and unable to do their jobs because of the constant discipline problems of disrespectful, unruly kids. I don't want to live in a society where those who labor and toil are the bad guys and those who are rude, insolent, and incorrigible are seen as the good guys. I don't want to live in a country where thugs and hoodlums wait for an authority figure to make a mistake and then pounce with lawsuits and public shaming, making everyone else walk on eggshells afraid to do their jobs.

That's when societal breakdown happens. That's what I see happening in America right now.

Even those who don't actively oppose those in authority- do you actively support those in authority?

Too often, we set up a welfare-type relationship with those in authority. In a welfare relationship, all the gifts and services flow one way: from the authority to the people. There is nothing that goes from the people to the authority. Welfare-type relationships are always unhealthy. When one side does all the giving and the other side does all the taking, it never ends well. You can change that.

Move towards a more "community-type" relationship with authority. Unlike welfare, in community relationships gifts and services flow both ways. People are both givers AND receivers. These are much more healthy relationships.

Ask yourself this question: how do I benefit from those in authority over me?  How does your child benefit from his or her teacher? That's obvious. Now the harder question- how does my child's teacher benefit from me? How do I bless him or her? How do I encourage him or her? That's community, not welfare.

How do I benefit from the policeman down the street? That's obvious. If a thug breaks into your home, he is the first responder. Now the harder question- how does the policeman benefit from me? How do I bless him? How do I encourage him? How do I make his job easier and more enjoyable? That's community, not welfare.

Church members, how do you benefit from the work of your pastor? Has he counseled you in marriage? Has there been any wisdom you've gleaned from a sermon? You wouldn't be going to the church you are going to if you were benefiting from his work. Now the tougher question- how does your pastor benefit from you being part of the church? That's community, not welfare.

Get rid of the welfare-type relationships we have with authority and begin a community-type relationship with those in authority around us.

Here are some recommendations that I will make so that you can be a different person in this culture:

1) If you see a cop or cops at a restaurant, buy them a milkshake, take it over to them, and tell them that you appreciate what they do.

2) Write the elders in your church a thank-you note for their oversight of the church. There are good elders and there are bad elders, but I've never seen a lazy elder. Being an elder is a lot of work and the Bible says they deserve our respect. Let them know you appreciate them.

3) Support your teacher when she calls out your kid for misbehavior. Yes. Your kid isn't perfect and most likely isn't being persecuted by a mean teacher. When I was a kid, my parents were always on my teachers' side. It was good for me. I survived. So will your kid. You will be an anomaly to your kids' teachers, because they certainly don't see much of that these days.

4) Pray for your pastor. Then write him a note telling him you prayed for him. You have no idea how much it means to us when we find out we are being prayed for by the congregation we serve.

5) Do something kind totally at random. When my family was in India, one of the people in our church came over and mowed and edged my lawn. I hadn't been able to get it done before we left and it would have been a jungle nightmare when we got back. When we arrived back home, my yard looked amazing. That has to be one of the kindest things someone has ever done for me as a pastor.

Whatever you do, we need to stop this anti-authority thing we have going on in this country. Authority is necessary. Is it always right? No. Those who abuse their authority should be removed at once. However, don't make the good ones pay for the actions of the bad ones. Support the good ones. Be a blessing to those in authority over you. Our country is unraveling before our very eyes, and it's because we have lost respect for the institutions that have in the past held us together. We need to be above the cultural norm. Start appreciating those in authority over you, because they have a big job. I fear for the future of a country that consistently denigrates and disrespects those who are called to lead.

Actually, I don't fear for the future of that country, because there won't BE a future for that country.

One forgotten reason you should attend church this Sunday

I was talking with a man who will remain nameless a few months ago. Suffice it to say that he is a close family member. We were discussing church.

This man is not a person to mince words or hold his opinions back, and when I asked him how church was that Sunday, he answered, "Not good."

"Not good?" I answered. He is a very dedicated Christian, probably one of most devout Christians I've ever known. He and his wife never, and I mean NEVER, miss a Sunday worship meeting.

"Not good," he continued. "I have no idea how the preacher can stand up there for thirty minutes and say absolutely nothing, but he managed to do it Sunday. I enjoyed the music, but overall, leaving church this past weekend I didn't feel inspired, didn't feel like I had worshiped God, didn't really walk out of there with anything, actually."

"Is this a common thing?" I asked.

"Yep," he said. "Pretty much every Sunday."

My wife, who was with us, jumped in.  "So why do you and your wife continue to go to that church? Why do you go? Why do you waste your time there?"

He got very serious. He paused for a second and the words came out very slowly, but powerfully:  "Because someone there might need to see me. Someone there might have had a terrible week and is on life support spiritually. Someone there may need encouragement. Someone there may need to know that there are other Christians around.  That's why."

He continued. "I'm old. I've heard plenty of sermons and studied the Bible a great deal. I don't think my faith would decrease if I never heard another sermon. That's not my role in the church anymore. I'm there because other people need me."

What an amazing attitude.

In our consumer-driven society, church has become all about me. What I can get. What I like. What I don't like. What is in it for me. What is in it for my family. And if it doesn't happen to meet every one of my expectations, wants, and needs it is a waste of time. How many of us have THAT attitude instead of this man's attitude?

How many of us don't particularly like Sunday morning church services?  Probably quite a few. That's okay. There are times I don't like them either. Sometimes I really love them, and sometimes I wish I were anywhere but there . . . . and I'm the preacher.

But how many of us have the maturity to say, "I'm not part of a church to consume, to get. I'm part of a church because other Christians need my witness. Other Christians need my example. Other Christians need my encouragement. Other Christians need my discipleship."

How many of us look at the Sunday morning meeting and say, "I'll bet there are young people there who are floundering around in their walk with Christ, and they need me to help guide them?"

How many of us, this weekend, will remove all of the consumerism that's been drilled into us as Americans and will approach church with an entirely different attitude? How many of us will get out of bed, turn off the tv, skip the soccer game, skip the shopping trip, not because of an inspiring Sunday morning service but because you know that someone there needs your presence there?

When we begin to view our involvement in a church like that, we know we are maturing in Christ.

We need more people like this man in our churches.

Now, I'm not giving a free pass to ministers. Ministers should be the hardest working men on the planet, because what happens when we preach and teach has an effect for all eternity. I'm not giving them a pass. Messages SHOULD be inspiring. Worship services SHOULD be encouraging.

But we need more people who are not looking to consume to fill our seats on Sunday morning. We need more people who are there to be examples, to be leaders, to be mentors, to be ENCOURAGERS to other believers on Sunday morning.  This is a forgotten reason you should go to church this Sunday.

Someone there might need to see you there. And it's as plain and simple as that.

Parents, will your children continue in faith when they graduate high school?

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but most likely no.

When I was a youth minister, I was haunted by the statistic that showed that 80% of children who grew up in the church, who were active in youth ministry, whose parents were Christian, who went on youth trips and mission trips and were baptized and the whole nine yards abandoned the church within six months of graduating high school.

So I knocked myself out trying to make sure we reached the kids in middle school and high school. I planned more and more events, did outreach to hundreds of kids, taught the Bible, took the kids on mission trips to let them experience their faith, and literally did everything in my power to DEFEAT that statistic. I even told my youth volunteers that the mark of success in our ministry was, "if these kids are still part of the church when they are eighty years old."

I failed.

I don't have hard data, but just an estimation is that the ministries I was in charge of had the same retention rate as everyone else. There are now quite a few kids, who are now adults, who are not only NOT part of the church but are militant atheists, mocking and scoffing at all things Christian. Many times, these were leaders- some of the most dedicated kids I ever saw.

Do I still believe in youth ministry? Yes. But I have learned one painful thing- it is incomplete. Woefully incomplete.

Converts may leave the faith. Church members may leave the faith. Baptized believers may leave the faith. Disciples, however, don't.

Disciples don't leave the faith. They don't leave the church. And this is what has been causing the 80% statistic- we have failed to make disciples out of our children and teenagers.  But who, pray tell, is responsible for discipleship? Whose job is it to make disciples out of our children and teens?

Parents.

Christian parents, to be exact.

When Jesus gave the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20, He told all His disciples to "go into the world and make disciples." That is our job. That is our one task. It isn't to win the world. It isn't to be successful and rich. It isn't to have a large crowd. It is simply to make disciples.

Parents, listen- your first disciples are your children.

I am asking you, literally begging you, to wake up. I am tired of listening to heartbroken parents whose children have come home and said, "I'm not going to church anymore." I'm tired of beating my head against the wall trying to design ministries, sermons, trips, etc that will somehow make lifelong disciples out of your children. Guess what? I can't. No pastor can. God has given this task to YOU- and to me as a parent- to disciple our children.

Children's ministries and youth ministries are good things. In fact, they can be excellent things. But they are not enough to reach your child. Only you can do this. This is a task given to you and you alone.

Right now I am teaching my oldest daughter how to drive. It has been a scary experience, to say the least. Putting a teenager in charge of a 2000-pound vehicle going seventy miles an hour is enough to make even the toughest parent a little queasy. However, it is my job to teach her as well as I can so that she will be prepared to drive by herself one of these days. The job of the parent is to ride in the car with the teenager, letting her practice, giving her real-time feedback about what to do and how to drive.

However, every parent knows this is a temporary situation. The permit phase of driving has a time limit, and no parent is expecting to still be riding shotgun with his daughter twenty years from now. No, the purpose is to train them up and let them go out on their own. This is what discipleship is. It is walking with your child through life's decisions, training them in godliness and faith, with the understanding that they will be leaving the house and walking in faith on their own.

How many parents really do this when it comes to their Christian faith? Sadly, not many.

So parents, I want you to close your eyes and fast forward to the time when your child is graduating high school. He will be going off to college soon. He will have freedoms he has never had before. Have you adequately prepared him, from a faith perspective, to continue in his faith when he is no longer around you? Does he know how to walk with Jesus, to serve, to grow in faith, without you? Is he prepared to handle pressures of adult life, making decisions that honor God and will keep him firmly rooted in the faith he grew up in?

Now, parents, I want you to imagine that he comes home from school for Christmas break. Sunday morning rolls around and you are preparing to head to church. He is still in bed. You go wake him up to go to church as a family like you normally do. Through still-closed eyes, he mumbles, "I'm not going."

"But we go to church as a family," you say.

"Church was fine when I was a kid, mom," he says, "but I'm just not interested anymore. I'm not going."

You stand there shocked.

How do I know this?

This was a conversation I overheard in my home when my brother came home from Emory his sophomore year. I remember how upset my parents were. I remember being pretty mad at him. I remember my parents questioning their parenting, pleading with him over the next several years to come back to faith. By the grace of God, he's back, but only after life knocked him around and about destroyed him.

I don't say that to criticize my family. God has been gracious to us over the years. What I am saying is I pray that never happens to any of you reading this blog. However, unless something changes, about 80% of you WILL have that conversation with your children when they graduate high school.

Parents, disciple your children. If you don't, it's pretty much a guarantee that at some very soon date, they will abandon their faith. Their eternity will be in question. They will make decisions based on Hollywood's and the media's influence, not the Bible's. They will become no different than those around them- they will have the same values, the same goals, the same lifestyles, the same everything as any other non-Christian around them.

Nothing concerns me more as a parent.

God has given you a task. You are to make disciples. Your first disciples are your children. It is YOUR responsibility to bring up children in the faith. Church on Sunday isn't enough. Youth group and CIY trips aren't enough. Teach them the Bible. Lead by example. Discuss world events through a Christian lens. Believe me- they are listening. Constantly ask them, when it is time for a decision, what a Christian would do. Teach them to pray over big decisions- who to date, where to go to school, what sports to play, what friends to choose. Do all of those things through the lens of discipleship.

I'm tired of seeing undiscipled young people grow up and leave the church. I'm tired of comforting distraught Christian parents who are mourning their child's exodus from the faith. I'm tired of having to pray, again and again, for someone's grown child who "grew up in the church and should know better" as they abandon their faith and move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage. I'm tired of always dealing with the symptoms of a lack of discipleship in the home.

Let's take on the root- let's move our homes into ones where our main job is discipleship. Our main job as parents is to pass on a living, vibrant faith to our children. If that isn't happening, we are missing our main priority. After all, in 150 years, your children's faith, or lack of faith, is all that is going to matter.

"God, give us men!"

I found this poem and it was too good not to post:

God, Give us Men!

God, give us men! A time like this demands
Strong minds, great hearts, true faith and ready hands;
Men whom the lust of office does not kill;
Men whom the spoils of office cannot buy;
Men who possess opinions and a will;
Men who have honor; men who will not lie;
Men who can stand before a demagogue
    And damn his treacherous flatteries without winking!

Tall men, sun-crowned, who live above the fog
In public duty and in private thinking;
For while the rabble, with their thumb-worn creeds,
Their large professions and their little deeds,
Mingle in selfish strife; lo! Freedom weeps,
Wrong rules the land and waiting justice sleeps.

-Josiah Gilbert Holland

September 13, 2015- The Shemitah, End of the World, Stock Market Crash . . . .

I am a big fan of Rabbi Jonathan Cahn. I loved his books, The Harbinger and The Shemitah. It was very eerie to look up all the things in The Harbinger and see them actually as he described them. His understanding of Messianic Judaism, the Hebrew culture and language, and the original transcripts of Scipture truly are amazing. I believe him to be a modern-day prophet.

For those of you who don't know, there is a lot of talk about Bible Prophecy coming true in a few weeks. In a nutshell, Cahn has shown that the two most recent stock market crashes in 2001 (a week after 9/11) and 2008 (the beginning of the Great Recession) occurred on the same day of the Jewish calendar, a date called Elul 29. These coincide with the Biblical concept of the Sabbath year, which you can read about if you want to. I won't discuss them here.

Because of the 2001 and 2008 crashes happening on the same date seven years apart, he has quite logically looked for a future date. That occurs September 13, 2015. He's simply looking at data, suggesting that we be prepared for another stock market crash as America continues to thumb its nose at God and defiantly refuse to repent and return to Him.

I'm not arguing one way or another.

I believe God cannot be mocked. I believe He executes His judgement on rebellious people and nations. I believe that the only thing that gets America's attention is money. We have put up with abortion, murder, disintegration of families, exponential rise in drug use, riots, corrupt government- but when our bank accounts go down, we really holler and scream. If God executes judgement on America, there is no doubt in my mind that it will be financial. So, there is a part of me that believes what Cahn says. A large part, in fact.

On the other hand, God has a real knack for NOT acting as we predict Him to. I can't tell you how many date setters have been debunked, predicting the rapture, the end of the world, etc. God seems to be fairly resistant to being put in a box. So, following history, I find it hard to believe that God will act on a certain date forecasted by humans.

The purpose of this blog, however, isn't to talk about whether or not the stock market will crash on September 13, 2015. It might. It might not.

What I am challenging Christians on is this- have you spent more time thinking about your bank account than your soul? I know I have.

I have wrestled with whether to sell my stocks, whether or not to stock up on food, whether or not to try to insulate myself from a worldwide financial meltdown that might be coming. I've read many blogs and articles about the "inevitable" crash on the horizon. Many Christians I know have as well.

What I haven't done, however, is spent time examining my soul and my life.

If you have spent more time worrying about your bank account and stocks than your soul and your walk with Christ, you are missing the boat.

God brings judgement on a nation for its rebellion. If God brings judgement on this nation, there isn't anything you will be able to do, materially, to save yourself. That's not the point. If the threat of judgement is on this nation, you must take time to ensure that you aren't part of the problem.

Instead of asking, "Should I sell my stocks?" we should be asking questions like these:

Am I sexually immoral?
Am I a forgiving person?
Am I am person with unclean hands, unrepentant of the sin in my life?
Am I a person to whom Jesus will say, "I know you. Well done, good and faithful servant?"

Let me say it again- if you have spent more time worrying about your 401k than your soul, you have missed the entire point of God's judgement.

I don't know what will happen on September 13. I really don't. What I do know is that I am using this time to examine my life, to root out areas of disobedience to God, root out areas of bitterness and unforgiveness and anger that hold me back, root out areas of resistance to God's will, and work on my relationship with God. When God's judgement hits, there won't be any physical preparations that will save you. So spend your time making SPIRITUAL preparations, because when it hits, God's love and grace will be all you have.

Making Coveting part of American culture

Any teacher or speaker will tell you that people will only remember the first and last things in a list. Good teachers will always put the two most important points or concepts at the beginning and the end because those are the things people are most likely to remember.

In the Ten Commandments, the first command is "You shall have no other gods before Me."  The last commandment is, "You shall not covet." These are strategically placed because these are the two most important commandments. Out of these two commandments flow the other eight.

The last one, "You shall not covet," is very rarely spoken about. We talk about coveting about as much as we talk about gluttony, most likely for the same reason. It is so prevalent and so much a part of our lives that we would rather not mention them, and if we were to rid ourselves of either of them, our lives would have to change so drastically that it would be too uncomfortable.

However, the sin of covetousness needs to be addressed. First of all, coveting isn't simply wanting what someone else has. That's not the issue. There is nothing wrong with seeing something that someone else has and enjoying or admiring it. My dad has a 1968 Dodge Charger R/T; black on black, matching numbers, 393 horsepower at the rear wheels- total road beast. I look at that and admire it. It's awesome. However, that's not coveting.

Admiration of what someone else has moves into coveting when you begin to feel like you have a RIGHT to have what others have. You begin to use words like, "It's not fair," and "why should he/she have that and I don't?" You begin to feel resentful towards people for having things you don't have. You begin to feel slighted, denied, treated unfairly, or demeaned because someone has something that you don't. You feel that your rights have somehow been violated if someone has something that you don't.

My admiration for my dad's muscle car would move into coveting if I were to begin to feel resentful that he has it and I don't. Admiration moves into coveting when I begin to structure my relationship with my dad around the car. I position myself to inherit it. I constantly bring it up in conversation. I feel slighted that he didn't buy one for me too. I feel like I've been cheated that I don't have that car- I feel resentful over his ability to buy one when I don't have the means. I begin to insult him behind his back, calling him all kinds of names, bashing him for his good fortune and saying it's "unfair." That's when admiration breaks down and the sin of covetousness takes over.

And this describes America in 2015.

Politicians and advertisers have seized upon the human tendency towards covetousness for two different reasons.  Politicians realize that they can get votes if they stoke covetousness in enough people, claiming that: 1) you have been treated unfairly, 2) why should these people have what you don't have, and 3) vote for me. Advertisers realize that they can get people to spend money they don't have- people will go into debt- to have what others have. Both groups seize upon the jealousy and resentment that covetousness brings in order to accomplish their agenda- politicians want power and advertisers want dollars.

In order for both of these groups to get what they want, they have to fill the airwaves with messages of unfairness, inequality, the haves versus the have-nots, and how they will solve all your problems if you do what they want you to do. They have both found that it is easy to control someone who feels they have been slighted. It is easy to manipulate the emotions of someone whose covetousness has lapsed into anger. It is easy to make servants out of people who feel entitled to what other people have.

Therefore, covetousness has been stoked into a national fury. Everywhere you look you hear the siren call to covetousness. "You are being denied." "It's not fair." "You should have what everyone else has." "You have a right to ___________________"(fill in the blank with whatever it is that someone else has that you didn't work for but feel a right to have).

In contrast to the sin of coveting, the apostle Paul gives us the right mindset to approach life with. He says, in Philippians 4:12-13 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Content. What a beautiful word. Contentment, in contrast to covetousness, is the state of mind where you don't feel the need for anything. You are at peace. You celebrate what your neighbor has; you don't desire it or feel entitled to it. Contentment says, "The Lord has satisfied all of my wants. The Lord has satisfied all of my needs. No longer do I look around to see what I should have. My thirsts are quenched, my hunger is satisfied, my appetites are under my control. I am content."

So, the question for Americans is- is God enough?

Coveting has passed up baseball as our national pastime. You can always tell that elections are getting close because the political ads and the political candidates stoke up as much coveting as they possibly can. They try to capitalize on what you DON'T have and promise to give it to you (although, conveniently, they never actually DO. That's why you need to vote for them in the next cycle).

I want to suggest that you edit out the following phrases from your vocabulary and even your thoughts:

"That's not fair."
"I have a right to . . . . "
"I think I'm entitled to . . . . "
"Why should they have a  _________ and I don't?"

If you notice, breaking the first commandment leads to breaking the next four. * If you don't follow "You shall have no other gods before Me," you will most likely have idols, use the Lord's name in vain, break the Sabbath, and dishonor your father and mother.  Similarly, breaking the tenth commandment leads to breaking the previous four. Murder is usually preceded by coveting what someone else has- you kill to get it. Adultery is always preceded by coveting what is not yours. Stealing is always preceded by coveting. Lying, many times, is preceded by coveting.

Following the first and tenth commandments by and large leads to following the other eight. It is time for the church to rid itself of the sin of coveting. It has become ingrained in our culture, in our churches, in our families, and in our lives. Today, replace any and all coveting with contentment. You can do all things through Him who gives you strength. Be content today. God is enough. Rest and relax in His amazing grace. Let Him be your satisfaction and let all the discontent, disquiet, anger, jealousy, and covetousness leave your life for good.  Have a blessed day.

*Exodus 20:3-17: The Ten Commandments.
1. “You shall have no other gods before me.

2. “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.  You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,  but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

3.  “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

4.  “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work,  but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

5. “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

6. “You shall not murder.

7. “You shall not commit adultery.

8. “You shall not steal.

9.  “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

10. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

The importance of Christian conversation in the home

I was a youth minister for nine years, and have continued to work with Christian teens since. I led a high school small group at my house for a year, as well as going on youth trips, retreats, and outings. One thing that I will tell you that I've noticed in many Christian teens: they are incapable of Christian conversation.

They are well-versed in Twitter and Snapchat. They can speak for hours on the Kardashians or whatever country music star is in the spotlight. They can speak for days on school, sports, or whatever topic suits them. Bring up the Bible? Bring up faith? Bring up Jesus? Blank stares.

This certainly isn't all teens, but the vast majority of them are this way. These are kids who have spent their entire lives in church. These are teens from Christian families. However, they are unable to have any kind of meaningful Christian conversation. Why is this?

There is one major factor in whether or not a Christian teen is able to have Christian conversation. One factor. It isn't the health of the youth group. It isn't the health of the church. It isn't anything like that.

It is the degree to which Christian conversation happens in their homes.

Teens who regularly hear Christian conversation from their parents are the ones who are able to speak about their faith outside the home. Teens who sit at the dinner table with mom and dad and hear thoughts on Jesus' words, opinions on faith matters, and reflections on life are the ones who are able to carry on Christian conversation with other teens and adults.

In my family, my children regularly hear Christian conversation, not just in my home, but in the homes of the grandparents as well.  Hardly a family gathering goes by that they don't hear the adults talking about church, talking about spiritual disciplines, talking about world events through a Christian lens, talking about issues and problems and everything else through the filter of Scripture. They regularly hear their grandparents reflect on how Scripture is to be lived out in life. They regularly hear Jesus' words spoken from one Christian to another.

How about your family? Do your children hear Christian conversation from you?

Believe me, they hear all kinds of conversation. That conversation shapes their beliefs, morals, values, views on church, views on Jesus, views on life, and everything in between.

Exposing our children to adult Christian conversation is probably the best way to teach the faith. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught, and one hour of Sunday church a week is a poor substitute for Christian parents sitting around a table speaking about their faith journeys in front of their children, inviting them to participate and develop their worldview from a Christian perspective.

How often do you share your faith journey with your children?

How often do you comment on world events from a Christian perspective?

How often do your children hear about what you are reading in the Bible?

How often do you use car time, meal time, etc to communicate the truths of the faith to your children?

The inability of our Christian teenagers to have Christian conversation shows that not much of that is going on in Christian homes. Christian teenagers should readily be able to engage adults in matters of faith- speaking of experiences and participating in discussions of things more important than the recent celebrity crisis or the most recent sexual exploit of pop singers and divas.

Can your child engage in Christian conversation? Can you?

I think we make passing along our faith more difficult than it really is. We certainly need directed times of study and prayer. That much is certain. However, your children are much more likely to pick up their faith from you in casual conversation. Explain to them your decisions- why you made this or that decision according to your faith. Explain to them your faith journey- where you were ten years ago and how your beliefs have changed as a result of your growing faith. Explain to them, and invite their participation in, a teaching of Jesus that you struggle with. All of that builds faith in our families.

John Paton, a Scottish missionary, wrote this about his childhood growing up, "Our place of worship was the Reformed Presbyterian Church at Dumfries . . .  four miles from our home, but the tradition is that during all these forty years my father was only three times prevented from attending the worship of God.  Each of us, from very early years, considered it no penalty, but a great joy, to go with our father to church; the four miles were a treat to our young spirits, the company by the way was a fresh incitement . . .  A few other pious men and women, of the best evangelical type, went along with us. And when these God-fearing peasants gathered on the way to or from the House of God, we youngsters had sometimes rare glimpses of what Christian talk may be and ought to be. They went to church, full of beautiful expectancy of spirit- their souls were on the outlook for God, and they returned from church, ready and even anxious to exchange ideas as to what they had heard and received of the things of life."

People, that's as good as it gets right there. Children listening to the Christian conversations of adults around them. Learning from adults as the adults' conversations revolve around the things of God. That is how we disciple our children. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught. Maybe we need to grab hold of this and make it happen in our homes.  The future of your children's faith will most likely depend on it.

Hungry

Every year, my family takes a vacation to Hilton Head, SC. I've been going there every summer since I was six years old. We stay at the same place, swim in the same pool, go to the same beach, eat at the same restaurants, etc.

One thing that we started doing about fifteen years ago was to go to church on Sunday morning while we are down there. I don't know how many of you go to church while on vacation, but we do. There are some great churches down there, and we always enjoy going.

The tradition after going to church is to eat brunch at Hilton Head Diner.

We always vacation at the height of the season and the place is always packed. Most of the time there is a wait, especially for a family of eleven people. Sometimes it is literally shoulder-to-shoulder while waiting. As we waited in line, packed in with people wanting to eat there, I began to ponder and reflect.

"How many of these folks took an hour out of their Sunday morning to worship God?" I mused. "I doubt that any of these people missed a meal while here on vacation. Why? Because they get hungry. I get hungry. When I'm hungry, I know exactly where to go. I know exactly what to do. That isn't something I've learned, it's just something that is natural."

I continued to think and ponder. "I don't want to go anywhere near a restaurant when I'm not hungry. It has no appeal to me whatsoever. However, when I'm hungry, all I can think about is food."

When I'm physically hungry, all I can think about is food.

When I'm spiritually hungry, all I can think about is God.

But who is spiritually hungry these days?

If you are physically hungry, you want to go to a restaurant. When you are spiritually hungry, you will want to go to a church. Do you describe yourself as spiritually hungry?

How many church members, this past Sunday, stayed home from worship? Not because you were traveling or out of town or sick, but simply just didn't show up? Any given Sunday, I would imagine that over half of church members don't attend the church they claim to be members of. Now, this probably boils down to one of two things:  one, the people have spiritual hunger and the church doesn't satisfy that hunger, or two, the people aren't spiritually hungry.

How about you?  Would you describe yourself as spiritually hungry?

Is there an animalistic drive to worship God within you? You know what hunger pangs feel like. Are there worship pangs within you that unsettle you, demanding to be satisfied, not settling for milquetoast religion and easy answers, but only reaching satiation when you encounter God, living and personal? Is there a hunger, a thirst, that makes your spiritual tongue stick to the roof of your mouth and makes you crave the living water offered by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I think as a pastor my prayer for my church is simple:  "Lord, put a hunger for You within the people."

Hilton Head Diner didn't have to send out reminders for the people to eat. Hilton Head Diner didn't have to follow up with missing diners. Why? Because the internal hunger of the people drove them there. In the same way, churches shouldn't have to send out invitations to their members, reminding them of Sunday worship. The internal hunger for God that should be present within every Christian should drive them there. Christians should have a need, a tangible unsettlement, a burr under the saddle, a pebble in the shoe, a grain of sand within the eye that will not allow rest until worship has happened.

The problem is quite simply that many of us have lost our hunger for God. We have lost our hunger for worship, for fellowship, for intimacy with God. We have filled our spiritual stomachs with entertainment, money, and idolatry; dulling our appetite for heaven and squelching any and all thirst for an encounter with God.

After all, who wants a restaurant when your stomach is full?

In the same way, Christians who are spiritually full want nothing to do with God.  That's a scary statement, but one that, if we were honest with ourselves, probably describes many of us.

The challenge for the Christian is to constantly empty ourselves of things that fill us so that our animalistic hunger for God can surface once again. We read our physical cues very well- the growl of the stomach, the dryness of the lips, the increasing ill temper- but do we read our spiritual cues very well?

Here are the cues of spiritual hunger: lack of forgiveness, lack of patience, suspicion of others, gossip, slander, making mountains out of molehills, a critical spirit, lack of peace, a foul mouth, lustful eyes, and lack of joy. These happen in the absence of worship, in the absence of quiet time with God, in the absence of fellowship with other Christians. Many times, when these cues happen, we go to the internet, watch tv, get online, check our Twitter feed, or something else. In these moments, what we need is worship. Honest, knee-bending, heart-breaking, authentic worship.

Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? I would love to pastor a church filled with hungry people. I would love to pastor a church where people have an insatiable hunger for God. A church where sitting at home on a Sunday morning watching tv is not an option. Where every excuse is rendered meaningless, where complacency is dashed to pieces, where lukewarmness is obliterated, where the people have a thirst for God that exceeds anything we could ever ask or imagine.

Is that your church? Is that you? Is that your family?

If you have no hunger for God, look at what is filling your life. You were meant to hunger for God. You were meant to thirst for Him. You were meant for intimacy with God. Don't sell yourself short.

To all the Christians out there I say simply two words:  "Stay Hungry."

History shows us what's next for America

I missed the 60's.

I was born in 1974 in the time of the Watergate scandal and the resignation of Richard Nixon. The Vietnam War was coming to an end, Woodstock was a pipe dream rapidly fading into the rear view mirror, The Doors were gone, Janis Joplin was gone, Jimi Hendrix was gone; JFK and RFK were gone, MLK was gone, LSD and heroin were disappearing; protest music was being replaced by ballads and disco, tie-dye t-shirts were being replaced by tempered-back avocado and burnt orange themes, and the nation was moving in a different direction.

After all the activism of the 60's, America was tired. We were tired of the Vietnam War and all the protests and arguing and fighting here at home. We were tired of marches, tired of demonstrations, tired of, well, just about everything. The music and culture of the 70's showed this.

After the decade of the 70's when America figuratively sat down on the couch and chilled out after an exhausting decade sexual liberation, protest marches, experimental drugs, wars, and division, a new decade emerged- the 80's. The election of President Ronald Reagan ushered in something that no one sitting in a New York field the summer of 1969 listening to Hendrix playing the Star-Spangled Banner could ever have imagined: a decade characterized by a massive shift to the right politically and culturally. The 80's marked one of the most conservative decades in recent history, paralleled only by the 50's (which was led by the Greatest Generation- children of the Great Depression and World War II).

No one saw the 80's coming. Especially not in the middle of the protest marches of the 60's.

The last seven years in America has been a time like the 60's. The election of Barack Obama ushered in an unprecedented chapter of liberalism: optimism about government, dreams of a post-racial society, dreams of peace, dreams of a new society based on equality and fairness. It also ushered in a time of intense division and fighting. We have done nothing but fight each other for the past seven years- liberals vs conservatives, leftists vs right-wingers, states vs federal government, Supreme Court vs the people, 1-percenters vs the 99-percenters, Wall Street vs Main Street, police vs minorities, Christians vs atheists, Muslims vs the whole world, immigrants vs nationalists, gun owners vs gun grabbers, homosexual activists vs anti-gay marriage supporters, and the list goes on.

Social media is a battleground. Activists on all sides. Common ground is out- polarization is in. Compromise is scorned, winning at all cost is valued. Arguing, gutter sniping, character assassination, media trolls, and public shaming are at an all-time high. Gay marriage was legalized after a long drawn-out fight, but instead of ending the battle, it only intensified. Our leaders seem incapable of solving any problem- in fact, they probably are the cause behind all the division. All of this is simply exhausting.

The times we are living in right now resemble, to a large degree, the 1960's.

And this era is ending.

Just like in the 1960's, reality is invading. The flower children of the 1960's found out that evil couldn't be eradicated by getting stoned and driving VW buses. They found that chasing utopia by governmental means is like chasing a will-o-the-wisp, just always slightly out of reach. The same is true of this era of liberalism and "progressivism."

We are discovering that universal health care ISN'T free- in fact, it is very expensive. We are discovering that we can't borrow our way to prosperity. We are discovering that evil can't be legislated away. We are discovering, once again, that politicians lie. We are discovering that instead of freedom, the new liberalism has given us repression and fascism- speech codes and "micro-aggressions" on college campuses, suing of businesses for not toeing the politically correct line, scandals from our supposed governmental "saviors," a bitterly divided and angry populace, fracturing of the family, unsustainable governmental debt, crushing student loans and credit card debt, and lack of trust in just about every institution that is responsible for keeping America together (law enforcement, churches, families, marriage, etc).

America is getting weary. We can only fight so long before we exhaust ourselves. No one has unlimited energy, and no one has the stomach to keep fighting, fighting, fighting.

Small children in the sixties saw their parents get all worked up over everything. They saw their parents engaging in culture wars. They saw the marches and the anger and the activism.  They saw the results.  They didn't like them. And they completely checked out.

The same is true of us today. My children have grown up in the Obama era of liberalism and progressivism. They've seen the culture wars. They've seen people argue. They've seen the social media battles, especially on Facebook, and they've seen the hatred flying around. The result?  Anyone with teenagers now know that there are no young people on Facebook.

Why are the young people abandoning Facebook? The quick answer is that their parents are there, and therefore they don't want anything to do with it. I disagree.

I think they are off of Facebook because they are sick of the battles.

Teens flock to social media where you can't argue. They love Instagram and SnapChat. You can't argue there. You can't have character assassination and trolling and public shaming there. It's a different kind of connection- a place without battles. That's where the kids are. They are tired of the Twitter wars and Facebook battles and division.

I think we are about to see a period of rest, just like the 1970's. Activism is going to fade away- people just won't have the energy for it. If history has anything to say about it, we are about to see a new era of conservatism, maybe not socially, but definitely politically. Activists will be publicly shamed and shunned- they've burnt through their capital and will be increasingly seen as more annoying than anything else. This new era will be marked with cynicism and distrust of our institutions. That will continue. The new normal in America will be one of moodiness and gloom as the nation tries to process the changes that have occurred in the Obama administration years.

I anticipate that there won't be many large court cases for awhile. America will enter a time of settling down, pulling back, disengaging from fights and battles and arguments. After that, there will be a new era of conservatism that will be the exact opposite of the Obama years. This has already happened from 1960-1988. It will most likely happen again.

The younger generations typically do not follow the older ones. The children of the 60's flower children rebelled and voted for Reagan. The children of the Reagan era conservatives rebelled and voted for Obama. The children of the Obama activists and social media warriors will rebel and move the other way. I believe this is what is next for America.

The question is- how does the church navigate these changing waters? Simple- the gospel message is more relevant now than at any other time in American history. As the pipe dream of the governmental savior fades with disillusionment, the eternal hope of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ becomes even more attractive. The Church has been given an amazing opportunity to lead this nation. Right now, more than any other time in my life, Christianity stands in stark contrast to the culture. It is time to show this world the beauty of the Church- it's message of love, forgiveness, turning the other cheek, faithfulness, sexual fidelity, purity, honesty, and truth. It is time for the Church to step up in leaderless, disillusioned communities and be the voice of sanity and reason.

We've been given a great opportunity. Let's not waste it.

There's really only been one change in America in the last forty years

What in the world is happening to America?

I tell you the truth, this is what my face looks like half the time when I read the news or hear the latest story in the media:

I just don't get what's going on half the time.  There are millions of Americans who feel the same way, and it seems as if each of these news stories is unrelated: the advance of same-sex marriage, Bruce Jenner becoming a woman, the church declining in numbers, public schools failing, violence in the cities, anti-cop rhetoric, redefinition of families, etc.

However, all of these stories have one common theme, and it is the great unspoken change that has hit America in the last forty years. It is the foundation for all of what we see going on today, and it is the reason why older Americans don't understand what is happening to our country while younger generations see no problem.

What, pray tell, is this common theme? What is this great, grandiose shift in American culture causing all the mayhem and craziness that we see?

Here it is:  Instead of the individual adapting to the institution, now the institutions have to adapt to the individual.

In previous generations, individuals were called to adapt to the institution.  The institution was king, and society was based on individuals falling in line with what the institution said.  For example, if someone wanted to be married, he or she would marry someone of the opposite sex. The institution said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman, and if you want to be married, adapt to it." So, individuals adapted to the institution.  Nowadays, however, individuals are calling the institution to adapt to them.  "I'm gay, and I want to be married, so marriage must adapt to me," is the new cry in today's society.

In previous generations, it was assumed that the institution would provide bathrooms for men and women. Biological males went into one bathroom, biological females went into another. The individual adapted to the institution.  Now, the individual is calling for legislation to force the institution to adapt to him or her. "Whatever I decide I am, you must accommodate me," is the rallying cry from the gender-fluid crowd.

Or, for instance, take the institution of learning. In previous generations, children went to school and adapted to the rules laid down by the institution.  The school said, "You must study and work hard to achieve A's, and if you don't, you fail." So, children who wanted A's studied hard.  If they brought home F's, students were grounded, punished, and the assumption was- they didn't study. In other words, the individual adapted to the institution. Nowadays, however, if a student fails, parents storm the teacher's office, demanding that the teacher be fired, blaming the principal for not giving an "individualized learning plan" calling the school to adapt to the student to ensure the student's success.  Instead of looking at the school as the given, now the student is the given, and it is the school's job to adapt to the student.

We see this also in law enforcement. In previous generations, it was understood that if you broke the law, you got what you deserved. If you were foolish enough to resist arrest, whatever happened was your own fault. Now, however, people who break the law are the victims, and the arresting officers are the ones who are at fault. Now, I'm sure there are instances of police brutality and those officers need to be arrested and tried like any other criminals, but I think we can all agree that there is a wave of anti-police sentiment calling on the police force to adapt to the individual, instead of the individual adapting to the institution of law enforcement.

The church hasn't escaped this either. In previous generations, churches preached the gospel, and it was the job of the individual to submit his or her sin to the power of God. The person was called to be repentant, to be willing to change, to be willing to surrender his or her life in submission to God for the forgiveness of sins and the joy of eternal life. Biblical Christianity was based on the sovereignty of God, and the church was the bearer of that message.  Now, however, the institution of the church has to adapt to the people. Preachers can't mention hell, or sin, or change, because that offends people. The church must now have all kinds of great fun children's events, neat games and fun trips for youth, flashy smoke machines and intelligent lighting to create fantastic and entertaining Sunday morning experiences. Churches, instead of preaching repentance and change, now have to adapt to individual "felt needs" and deliver motivational lectures on achieving your "best life now" instead of revealing a humanity in rebellion towards God in need of redemption.  Instead of individuals adapting to the institution, now the institution must adapt to the individual.  And if that church is so woefully unready to do so, the churchgoer will happily leave that church and go to one down the street that will tell them what they want to hear.

Where does this all lead?  Nowhere good, I can tell you.

This is simply the fall of man, described in Genesis chapter 3 so well, on full display.

In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve decide they know better than God. They decide to BE God, and therefore commit sin. This new phenomenon in American culture is simply that- the individual deciding that he or she is sovereign, that he or she is the given, and that everything and everyone must adapt to him or her.

I think that this trend is so entrenched in American culture that I don't see it changing.

The net result of this is that the institutions which propped up American society in previous generations will disappear. The church, the family, law enforcement, schools, or any kind of authority will become so compromised that they will not be able to do their jobs. We are already seeing this in education. Teachers can't teach anymore. They are too busy dealing with kids and parents who want the school to adapt to them. We will continue to see this in law enforcement, with increasing lawlessness as people, instead of respecting law enforcement and adapting to what it says, resist and demand that law enforcement let them do what they want.  We will continue to see this in the church, with less and less tolerance for Biblical teaching ("For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."- 2 Timothy 4:3). 

A society where the institutions are forced to adapt to the individual will not survive. A society with strong institutions- family, church, school, law enforcement, etc- will thrive. America became strong because her institutions were strong. America will become weaker as her institutions grow weaker. Christians, we have a duty to stand against this- we have a duty to strengthen our institutions through commitment to God.

Christians, we should be the first ones to keep our families together.

Christians, we should be the first ones to emphasize the importance of education and discipline in our schools, calling for respect for teachers, principals, and authorities in the classroom.

Christians, we should be the first ones to support law enforcement, calling for the punishment of bad cops but respecting and honoring the ones who keep us safe.

Christians, we should be the first to strengthen our churches by our attendance, financial support, and commitment to ministry. We should be the first to pray for our leaders, support our pastors, and actively engage in repentance and life change.

Christians, we should stand against the tide of culturally suicide that America is committing right now. Be aware of how you live in this day and age. True Christians will stand out like a sore thumb in this society, and we should be ready in each and every situation to speak of the grace and truth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Changing your church by guarding your Sunday mornings

I was talking with a friend of mine who is an elder in his church (in Christian church circles, an elder is a layperson who overseas the spiritual health of the church. It is different from a Methodist or Baptist understanding of an elder- for my Baptist friends, think deacon) and he described to me what his Sunday mornings were like:

"I get to church and within five minutes someone is complaining to me about a program that went wrong. I try to deal with that person, then within thirty seconds someone is asking me about a water bill being paid, then someone tells me what went wrong on the youth trip and how they are probably leaving the church because of it, then someone comes up to me with some pressing problem about a fundraising dinner in two weeks and how so-and-so is messing it up, and so on. I'm usually late to the service, fifteen minutes or so, and I'm in such a bad mood that I can't worship. I hate Sunday mornings."

How sad.

How many of us could say the same thing?  I can remember being at one church where we had an elder meeting every Sunday morning before church. I was requested to be there, and usually received a grilling about someone who didn't like the way youth group was going. I could completely relate to that elder. I hated Sunday mornings. I was always in a bad mood after those meetings, and in no way was I ready to worship God. The good news is- it doesn't have to be that way. As a matter of fact, I can't believe we've let it become that way.

Pastors and leaders, guard your Sunday mornings.

I challenge every one of you who is a pastor or leader to make a new policy. Write it in huge letters in the church bulletin, put it up on the screen, put it on the marquee outside:  "Sunday is for worship only."

Sunday is for worship only.

In my church, we tell people, "Unless the church is on fire or someone is getting murdered in the parking lot, it doesn't need to be dealt with today. Call me tomorrow."

In other words, we guard our Sunday mornings.

I have never seen anything brought to me on Sunday morning that can't be dealt with on Monday. The problem is simply that Sunday morning is when the church is together, and that's sometimes the only time people see their leaders. People have become accustomed to bringing every problem, issue, and concern to leaders on Sunday mornings.  While that may be the only time they see them, that turns Sunday morning into a gripe-fest filled with issues and problems instead of a worship service.

Church members, your pastors and leaders need to worship. Believe it or not, when you bring issues and concerns and problems to them on Sunday, it affects them. They are not able to focus on God, on worship, on being renewed in the Spirit. They are troubled, in a bad mood, distracted, and unable to focus on the primary purpose of Sunday morning.

Your churches are affected by it. Your leaders approach Sunday morning the way that you approach a "we need to meet immediately" summons from your boss at work. They approach Sunday mornings expecting to get an earful of every little thing that is wrong, every problem that needs immediate fixing, every little argument that has happened during the week. Believe me, it affects your church. Worship is merely an afterthought in many churches, because everyone is in a sour mood due to the drama.

Guard your Sunday mornings.  Pastors and leaders, announce this Sunday that from this point forward, unless someone is getting murdered in the parking lot or the church is on fire, no problems or concerns or issues will be dealt with on Sunday morning. Sunday will be for worship only. If there are problems, the church office is open Monday-Friday, and we will deal with them then.

Learn these words and repeat them often: "Sunday is for worship only."

Church members, do not bring issues and problems to your leaders on Sunday mornings. Most of the time, they are not pressing. There is nothing that you want to deal with on Sunday morning that can't be dealt with on Monday. I know it is convenient, because that is when you see them, but resist this urge. Let your leaders worship. Let them enjoy church. Let them connect with their Lord and Savior. Let them be part of the church for that hour.

You will see an new excitement invade your church as Sunday morning takes on a whole new life. People will be genuinely happy to be at church. You will see a new enthusiasm, a new breath of fresh air, a new life growing in your church. Your gatherings will be joyful, not sour. Do not allow your Sunday meetings to be affected by anything other than worship.

Pastors and leaders, by not dealing with issues on Sunday mornings, you allow yourself to focus completely on worship.  Church members, by not bringing issues and problems to leaders on Sunday mornings, you are more focused on the purpose of Sunday mornings.  Please, for the health of your church, guard your Sunday mornings.

Look at complaints, issues, concerns, and anything else as intruders bent on destroying the church. Pastors, battle these intruders. Do not let them in. Do not give them an ear. Constantly say, "Sunday is for worship only," when someone attempts to bring an issue to you. Guard your flock. Guard your Sunday morning. Like I said before, there is nothing that needs to be dealt with that day. Deal with it on Monday.

By guarding our Sunday mornings, we keep our focus on what Sunday morning truly is- a celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Guard it. Honor it. Protect it. Love it. Be watchful. Be consistent. Be firm. Sunday is for worship only.

When you simply don't "feel like it"

One of the things I do as a pastor, in the role of a shepherd, is round up strays. On any given Sunday, there are any number of people who for whatever reason miss church. Most people like to know that they've been missed, so if I notice that someone is missing, I give them a call or send them a message to let them know that we missed them.

I was following up with a guy who missed church last Sunday. He's been having some tough times, and he said, "I just woke up Sunday morning and I just didn't feel like coming to church."

We've all been there. Let me let out a little secret- a lot of pastors feel that way too.

However, I said, "What does that have to do with anything?"

I went on, "There are times I don't feel like coming to church, and I'm a pastor! I also have times where I don't feel like playing sports with my kids. Sometimes I don't feel like praying. Sometimes I don't feel like paying a bill, or going to work, or talking with my wife, or working out. There are times I don't feel like mowing the grass, doing the laundry, washing the car, going to one of my kids' ball games, or even reading the Bible."

"So you're equating worship of God with mowing the grass?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I'm equating it with life. Why is it that even though we don't feel like doing those things, we do them anyway?  Answer: because it's our duty."

Duty.

The word "duty" is a bad word in American culture right now, especially in the church. American Christians have bought into a false ideology that says we have to feel it for it to be real. If we "feel" close to God, we are; and if we don't feel close to God, we aren't. If we "feel" like going to church, then it is real; if we don't "feel" like going to church, we are being hypocrites if we go. If we don't "feel" like worshiping, we shouldn't.

Maybe that's why the church is in the shape it's in today- we have based our entire concept of spirituality on a fleeting feeling that has more to do with our emotional state at the time than it does on any real spiritual condition or truth.

The Bible is full of stories of people who did things even when they didn't "feel" like it.

I doubt very seriously Jesus "felt" like going to the cross, but He did it anyway.

I doubt very seriously the apostle Paul "felt" like getting flogged, stoned, shipwrecked, beaten with rods, and slandered; yet he did it anyway.

I doubt very seriously that Peter "felt" like getting crucified upside down for his preaching, yet he did it anyway.  And the list goes on.

What set the heroes of the faith apart from the others was the fact that they emphasized duty over feelings. Yes, Christians- we have a duty. Sometimes we aren't going to feel like praying, studying, sharing our faith, attending church, or making a God-honoring decision. So what? Life is full of things we do without "feeling like it." Why should our faith be any different?

Here is what I, as a pastor, am imploring all of you to do. When faced with a decision, do not give regard to your feelings, which change according to mood, circumstances, and whims. Give total regard to your IDENTITY.

I told my friend, "Stop paying attention to how you feel, and instead, ask yourself "What does a Christian do? Does a Christian attend church on Sunday? Yes. So that's what you do. There will be times when you are completely and totally excited about church, and there are other times when you would rather be fishing or shopping or sleeping in or watching Sportscenter. But what difference does that make to a Christian? If you are a Christian, then do what a Christian does."

Do what a Christian does. It's a revolutionary concept.  But it's one that is desperately needed in the church.

Are you a Christian? Then do what a Christian does. Christians don't hem and haw when it comes to being part of a church.  Christians don't hem and haw when it comes to prayer, studying the Word, or sharing their faith. Christians don't hem and haw and fart around when it comes to practicing their faith in day-to-day living.

Athletes train when they don't feel like it.
Workers work when they don't feel like it.
Parents parent when they don't feel like it.
Spouses love the other when they don't feel like it.

Why?

Because that's their duty.

Yes, Christians, we have spiritual duties, and many of us have been woefully negligent of them. We have cast our spiritual life as something to be practiced when we "feel like it." Well, that is why the church is so impotent and lukewarm. It's not that we don't love Jesus- it's that we have neglected our duties as Christians. We only practice our faith, or attend church, or pray, or anything else when we are in the mood.

No great athlete has ever become great because he practiced only when he "felt like it."
No great employee has ever become great because he went to work only when he "felt like it."
No great parent has ever become a great parent when she only parented when she "felt like it."
No great marriage has ever become great when the spouses loved each other only when they "felt like it."

No person has ever developed a strong faith when they only were spiritual when they "felt like it."

So, here's the honest truth: a lot of our walk with Christ is duty. Yes it is. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. Part of the Christian faith is work; hard, unrelenting, thankless work. There will be Sunday mornings where you don't feel like worshiping. There will be Monday afternoons when you don't feel like praying. There will be Thursday mornings when you don't feel like forgiving your spouse. That's life. Deal with it.

Some of us believe that we have to "feel" it for it to be real.  I disagree. It isn't what you feel that makes it real; it's what you are committed to that makes it real. I would even go as far as to say that you, your identity, is simply made up of the sum total of your commitments.

As a pastor, I'm impressed with someone who has every reason not to show up on a Sunday morning, every reason in the world not to forgive, every reason in the world not to pray, every reason in the world not to serve, but does it anyway.  I am more impressed with that person than a person who shows up eagerly. Why? Because anyone can serve when they are eager. That takes no great dedication. But the one whose life is falling apart, the one who has been hurt, the one who is exhausted, the one who has every excuse in the world not to stay faithful but stays faithful anyway? Now that's impressive. That's faith. And that's what is woefully absent from most if not all of our churches today.

I think it's time that we as Christians, especially pastors, start emphasizing the word "duty" again. It is a bad word in churches today. It connotates dead and stale religion; a "going-through-the-motions" kind of deal, rather than a "My-heart-is-in-it-and-therefore-it's-real" mentality. Nothing could be further from the truth. Duty was what built the church in the first place. The early church, and early church leaders, had an overwhelming sense of duty that motivated them beyond what felt right. It is because of their unrelenting sense of duty that now one out of every three people on this planet calls himself or herself a Christian.

If you don't have a strong sense of Christian duty, you will fall away every time the ebb and flow of passion reaches a low point. You will justify your dereliction of duty by saying, "I don't want to be a hypocrite- I don't feel it so it must not be real," but in the end, it will simply be a shirking of your responsibility and duty to God. We don't put up with dereliction of duty in other areas of life- we don't allow ourselves to shirk our parenting responsibilities, do we? How many mothers truly feel like cleaning up vomit at 2 am? Yet we do it anyway, because it's our duty.

One thing is certain- every time that I, as a pastor, have fought through my apathy and done my duty even though I didn't feel like it, I am always glad I did. It formed character within me, it formed faith within me, and it formed morality and righteousness within me. I am challenging you to do the same. Let's bring the word duty back into the church. Let's do what we need to do even when we don't feel like it. Let's do what Christians do, even when we'd rather do something else.

Duty.

What I've learned from the persecuted church overseas that American churches need to start doing

How can a church, whose heroes all died as criminals, whose Bible is filled with stories of people being arrested, tortured, and killed by angry mobs and government forces, be part of the mainstream culture?

Answer: it really can't.

Oh, it can for awhile. America has proven that. Christianity has been the majority religion here in America since its inception. It still is, and probably will be for a long time. Faith isn't as easy to stamp out in a society or a people as you might think, no matter what the liberal press and militant atheist social media warriors would like you to believe.

However, there is no doubt that America is changing.

The guys who have been in youth ministry have known this for a long time.

I was a youth minister for 9 years before being a senior pastor, and the front-page news headlines screaming about America's changing spiritual landscape was common knowledge to all of us ten years ago. Working with the upcoming generation, we all saw it.

And honestly, a lot of us welcomed it.

See, Christianity in its truest form can only exist when it is a minority outside the mainstream. When Christianity becomes popular, when it becomes cool, when there are societal benefits associated with being part of a church or being called a Christian, the true faith is watered down.

When Christianity is mainstream, people will join a church because of friends, or because of business contacts, or because of social status, or simply because "that's what a good American does." When churches are filled with people who want the benefits of Christianity but aren't in relationship with Jesus, aren't willing to pay the costs, not willing to accomplish the Great Commission, aren't willing to sacrifice anything at all, the church suffers.  Big time.

When Christianity is moved to the fringes, when it isn't cool, convenient, or popular, the church sheds a lot of dead weight. When the heat is turned up, when Christianity begins to cost, when Christianity begins to be dangerous and risky, there is a major pruning that goes on.  When that pruning is over, all that is left are hardcore, committed disciples of Jesus Christ. That's when Christianity begins to exist in its purest form.

That's what's happening in America right now. Casual, lukewarm Christianity is disappearing. And I say good riddance.  God is refining His church right now. He has gone into full-blown Gardener mode (see John 15) and is ruthlessly pruning off dead, unproductive branches of His church. He is refining His church, destroying casual, nominal Christianity and leaving His church full of people who are serious about discipleship.

How do I know this?  I spend a lot of time with Christians in other countries who are distinct minorities.

I think that American churches need to learn from them. Here are two things that I believe the American church will need to do in order to thrive in a post-Christian America.

1) De-centralize.  Our brethren in China showed me one thing: they do not have massive places of gathering. They do not have real estate. They do not have offices. They do not have anything, really, other than their homes. Whatever you have can be confiscated by the government. So, they are de-centralized. Their churches are incredibly hard to shut down, because there ARE no churches. At least, no church buildings. One house gets shut down, they move to another.

Also, their leadership is de-centralized. If the police break into a church meeting and demand to know who the pastor is, all raise their hands. If they arrest one, another takes his place. Their locations and their leadership is de-centralized, and therefore impossible to destroy. Right now, here in America, leaders are easily identified and buildings are easily spotted. Learn the lesson from our persecuted brethren and be ready for the day when we will need to act as they do.  De-centralize.

2) Orphan care.  Churches outside the mainstream need to look for ways that they can have legitimacy in the eyes of the unbelievers. Every society has helpless members, and the most prominent are the orphan children. Our persecuted brethren overseas all have orphanages.  This is for two reasons- one, because the Bible commands it, and two, because it afford the church protection. If a church runs an orphanage with 150 children, what happens when the government comes in and threatens to shut the church down?  The leaders say, "Okay, these children are now your problem."

No local government wants to deal with orphan children, so they back off. Also, many local people are won over to Jesus Christ by seeing the compassion of the church for the orphan children.

I see these two things- de-centralization and orphan care- as being two things of absolute necessity in the American church in the coming years. These are things our persecuted brethren have done to survive in their communities. American churches need to do this as well.

So, to the average churchgoer, are you willing to raise your hand and say you are the pastor? Are you ready to take over leadership of the church when your pastor is arrested? Are you ready to take seriously the care of orphans?

The time to decide that is now. The time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining. When it starts to rain, it's too late.

The time to decide these things is now, before government forces begin shutting down churches and persecuting the faithful. Decide now.  But don't worry. Our rich history is filled with people who stayed faithful in face of violent persecution. They are our heroes. They are our examples. If they faced it, so can we. God bless you all.

Parents, teach your child this one thing to ensure their success in life

I was in India when I learned the secret of life.

It was my first time in Asia. My parents had hammered manners into me as a child. I couldn't speak the local language yet I interacted with many of them, so I was careful to over-communicate my thankfulness and enjoyment and respect to the people there. (I frightened one poor lady- we were at her home and I was sitting at the table talking with some other men when she approached the table with tea. Being a good southerner, when I saw her approach the table, I stood up. I thought I was showing respect, but I startled her so much that she almost dropped the platter and spilled the tea. She thought I was leaving and that somehow she had offended me. Clash of cultures!)

I was about ready to speak at a nightly outdoor service. There were over two thousand people in attendance, about half Christian and about half Hindu. Many were people who were curious because they had never seen a white person before. I was a first for many of them.

When it was my time to stand up to speak, I walked to the platform, sat down on the ground, took off my shoes, and then went up on stage. I preached the message along with my awesome translator, and then afterwards many people came forward to receive Christ and request baptism.

The next day, we rode with the seventy people who were going to be baptized out to a river. No baptistries were around- they used the Biblical old-school river baptisms straight out of the New Testament. One of the men, when it was his turn for baptism, turned to me and told me the following:

"I am a Hindu, from a Hindu family. I had never heard of Christ before, and I had no intention of listening last night. The only reason I showed up was that I had never seen a white person before. Well, I saw you. When you stood up to preach, I was about ready to leave, but when I saw you sit on the ground and take off your shoes, I was stunned. I said, 'This man respects us.' I was not expecting that. No man of dignity, let alone a white person, would EVER sit on the ground. That's what children do. But after you removed your shoes, I decided to sit and listen. I'm glad I did. Now I know about Jesus."

What I learned from that experience is that respect is the universal language.

Respect is the way to open doors, to open hearts, to open opportunities that were previously closed. A respectful person- a person who values others, does not insist on his or her own way, a person who uses manners, expresses gratitude, and exercises self-control especially around his or her elders is a person who is going to be successful in this life.

Respect cut through language barriers in India. I couldn't communicate words, but believe me, I was still communicating. A small gesture that I thought was insignificant was HUGE to the people of India. It pleased them greatly to see a foreigner respect their customs and ways. It opened hearts to the gospel.

Parents, raise respectful children. Do not allow your children to refer to adults by their first names. Do not let them get away without saying "Please," "Thank you," and "Yes," (not yeah). Teach your sons and daughters to hold the door for people behind them. Teach them to be polite in other peoples' homes. Teach them to over communicate their thankfulness when someone does something for them. Insist that they write thank-you notes at birthdays and Christmas.

Respect.

You raise children that do those things, and the world will open up for them.

I was at my son's taekwondo class. Class had just gotten over, and parents and children were heading for the door. I opened the door and three of the cutest little girls (couldn't have been more than 4, 5, and 6) walked through. As they went through, all three of them, almost in unison, looked me IN THE FACE and said with a smile, "Thank you sir."

I said, "Wait! Whoa!" I turned to their mother, who was right beside them, and I said, "Your children have excellent manners." I got down on the children's level and said, "Do you have any idea how nice, as an adult, it was to hear that from you? Do you have any idea how respected I feel right now? Thank you." Turning back to their mother, I said, "Your children will have no trouble in this world. If this is the way they make adults feel, they will get every job they apply for, they will get every opportunity they try for, because they have absolutely no competition."

I have worked in many places. I have hired people, managed people, and lead a staff right now. I believe I would argue that I would rather have a respectful employee than an intelligent employee. I would rather have an employee that is respectful to customers than one who got straight A's but treats people terribly. Parents, are you emphasizing respect as much as grades? Are you emphasizing respect as much as sports?

Believe me, respect is the universal language. Disrespect is the universal turn-off. People have all the time in the world for a polite, respectful person. They've got no time at all for a disrespectful jerk. If doors are closed to you, or your children, take a look at how respectful you are or they are. Do you use "sir" or "ma'am" especially when speaking to someone older? Do you use "thank you" and "please" or are they absent from your vocabulary?

Maybe your problem is that you simply aren't respectful, or your children aren't. Model respect for your children. They will follow suit. By teaching them respect, you will ensure their success in this world. They will stand out because, like I said before, they will have NO competition.

"I don't do business with churches."

Early in Catalyst Christian Church history, when we were only about two years old, I went looking around our town for a new location to house our church. We wanted to be more visible in the community and have a larger space to accommodate our future growth.

My friend and co-worker, John Kelley, and I drove up and down Main Street, looking for available space.  We found a large, empty storefront with a huge "For Rent" sign in the window. The location was perfect.  It was about 10,000 square feet, right on the main drag, highly visible, huge parking lot- in other words, it was ideal.

After glancing in the window, I decided to call the number in the window.  A man's voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hello," I said. "I'm interested in your property located at (address withheld)."

"Sure," said the guy, perking up at the potential tenant. "It's ready to move in. What kind of business are you?"

"We're a church," I answered.

His tone changed immediately. "I don't do business with churches," he said abruptly, and hung up.

You know exactly what John and I did.  We immediately went and found a lawyer, filed a complaint against the guy, listed our symptoms of emotional bereavement including but not limited to: headache, fever, depression, feelings of isolation, trouble sleeping, and worst of all a strong compulsion to listen to Nickelback.  We hauled the guy into court, sued him for all he's worth, crucified him on social media, picketed his offices, made death threats against his family, broke windows in the property, and shut down a GofundMe page set up to help him out.  Right?

Nope. We said, "Oh well," and went someplace else.

And that was it.

That's what decent people do.

He has a tenant that he wants to work with. It's his property. He can rent it to whoever he wants.

He lost out on the rent money we would have paid him. That's his business. Quite honestly, I didn't want a guy who feels that way towards churches to be our landlord.

America is based on the freedom of voluntary transactions between business and consumer. Voluntary. I believe he has the right to rent to whoever he wants. It's his property. He owns it. He invested his own money in it, it's his livelihood, and if he doesn't want to rent to us, he shouldn't have to. He doesn't own every building in this town. There are plenty of others.

He rented to someone else. We rented from someone else. No big fuss. No big deal.
We are in a fantastic location that works great for us. We can rent from whoever we want to.

And that's how a free society works.