I was in India when I learned the secret of life.
It was my first time in Asia. My parents had hammered manners into me as a child. I couldn't speak the local language yet I interacted with many of them, so I was careful to over-communicate my thankfulness and enjoyment and respect to the people there. (I frightened one poor lady- we were at her home and I was sitting at the table talking with some other men when she approached the table with tea. Being a good southerner, when I saw her approach the table, I stood up. I thought I was showing respect, but I startled her so much that she almost dropped the platter and spilled the tea. She thought I was leaving and that somehow she had offended me. Clash of cultures!)
I was about ready to speak at a nightly outdoor service. There were over two thousand people in attendance, about half Christian and about half Hindu. Many were people who were curious because they had never seen a white person before. I was a first for many of them.
When it was my time to stand up to speak, I walked to the platform, sat down on the ground, took off my shoes, and then went up on stage. I preached the message along with my awesome translator, and then afterwards many people came forward to receive Christ and request baptism.
The next day, we rode with the seventy people who were going to be baptized out to a river. No baptistries were around- they used the Biblical old-school river baptisms straight out of the New Testament. One of the men, when it was his turn for baptism, turned to me and told me the following:
"I am a Hindu, from a Hindu family. I had never heard of Christ before, and I had no intention of listening last night. The only reason I showed up was that I had never seen a white person before. Well, I saw you. When you stood up to preach, I was about ready to leave, but when I saw you sit on the ground and take off your shoes, I was stunned. I said, 'This man respects us.' I was not expecting that. No man of dignity, let alone a white person, would EVER sit on the ground. That's what children do. But after you removed your shoes, I decided to sit and listen. I'm glad I did. Now I know about Jesus."
What I learned from that experience is that respect is the universal language.
Respect is the way to open doors, to open hearts, to open opportunities that were previously closed. A respectful person- a person who values others, does not insist on his or her own way, a person who uses manners, expresses gratitude, and exercises self-control especially around his or her elders is a person who is going to be successful in this life.
Respect cut through language barriers in India. I couldn't communicate words, but believe me, I was still communicating. A small gesture that I thought was insignificant was HUGE to the people of India. It pleased them greatly to see a foreigner respect their customs and ways. It opened hearts to the gospel.
Parents, raise respectful children. Do not allow your children to refer to adults by their first names. Do not let them get away without saying "Please," "Thank you," and "Yes," (not yeah). Teach your sons and daughters to hold the door for people behind them. Teach them to be polite in other peoples' homes. Teach them to over communicate their thankfulness when someone does something for them. Insist that they write thank-you notes at birthdays and Christmas.
Respect.
You raise children that do those things, and the world will open up for them.
I was at my son's taekwondo class. Class had just gotten over, and parents and children were heading for the door. I opened the door and three of the cutest little girls (couldn't have been more than 4, 5, and 6) walked through. As they went through, all three of them, almost in unison, looked me IN THE FACE and said with a smile, "Thank you sir."
I said, "Wait! Whoa!" I turned to their mother, who was right beside them, and I said, "Your children have excellent manners." I got down on the children's level and said, "Do you have any idea how nice, as an adult, it was to hear that from you? Do you have any idea how respected I feel right now? Thank you." Turning back to their mother, I said, "Your children will have no trouble in this world. If this is the way they make adults feel, they will get every job they apply for, they will get every opportunity they try for, because they have absolutely no competition."
I have worked in many places. I have hired people, managed people, and lead a staff right now. I believe I would argue that I would rather have a respectful employee than an intelligent employee. I would rather have an employee that is respectful to customers than one who got straight A's but treats people terribly. Parents, are you emphasizing respect as much as grades? Are you emphasizing respect as much as sports?
Believe me, respect is the universal language. Disrespect is the universal turn-off. People have all the time in the world for a polite, respectful person. They've got no time at all for a disrespectful jerk. If doors are closed to you, or your children, take a look at how respectful you are or they are. Do you use "sir" or "ma'am" especially when speaking to someone older? Do you use "thank you" and "please" or are they absent from your vocabulary?
Maybe your problem is that you simply aren't respectful, or your children aren't. Model respect for your children. They will follow suit. By teaching them respect, you will ensure their success in this world. They will stand out because, like I said before, they will have NO competition.
It was my first time in Asia. My parents had hammered manners into me as a child. I couldn't speak the local language yet I interacted with many of them, so I was careful to over-communicate my thankfulness and enjoyment and respect to the people there. (I frightened one poor lady- we were at her home and I was sitting at the table talking with some other men when she approached the table with tea. Being a good southerner, when I saw her approach the table, I stood up. I thought I was showing respect, but I startled her so much that she almost dropped the platter and spilled the tea. She thought I was leaving and that somehow she had offended me. Clash of cultures!)
I was about ready to speak at a nightly outdoor service. There were over two thousand people in attendance, about half Christian and about half Hindu. Many were people who were curious because they had never seen a white person before. I was a first for many of them.
When it was my time to stand up to speak, I walked to the platform, sat down on the ground, took off my shoes, and then went up on stage. I preached the message along with my awesome translator, and then afterwards many people came forward to receive Christ and request baptism.
The next day, we rode with the seventy people who were going to be baptized out to a river. No baptistries were around- they used the Biblical old-school river baptisms straight out of the New Testament. One of the men, when it was his turn for baptism, turned to me and told me the following:
"I am a Hindu, from a Hindu family. I had never heard of Christ before, and I had no intention of listening last night. The only reason I showed up was that I had never seen a white person before. Well, I saw you. When you stood up to preach, I was about ready to leave, but when I saw you sit on the ground and take off your shoes, I was stunned. I said, 'This man respects us.' I was not expecting that. No man of dignity, let alone a white person, would EVER sit on the ground. That's what children do. But after you removed your shoes, I decided to sit and listen. I'm glad I did. Now I know about Jesus."
What I learned from that experience is that respect is the universal language.
Respect is the way to open doors, to open hearts, to open opportunities that were previously closed. A respectful person- a person who values others, does not insist on his or her own way, a person who uses manners, expresses gratitude, and exercises self-control especially around his or her elders is a person who is going to be successful in this life.
Respect cut through language barriers in India. I couldn't communicate words, but believe me, I was still communicating. A small gesture that I thought was insignificant was HUGE to the people of India. It pleased them greatly to see a foreigner respect their customs and ways. It opened hearts to the gospel.
Parents, raise respectful children. Do not allow your children to refer to adults by their first names. Do not let them get away without saying "Please," "Thank you," and "Yes," (not yeah). Teach your sons and daughters to hold the door for people behind them. Teach them to be polite in other peoples' homes. Teach them to over communicate their thankfulness when someone does something for them. Insist that they write thank-you notes at birthdays and Christmas.
Respect.
You raise children that do those things, and the world will open up for them.
I was at my son's taekwondo class. Class had just gotten over, and parents and children were heading for the door. I opened the door and three of the cutest little girls (couldn't have been more than 4, 5, and 6) walked through. As they went through, all three of them, almost in unison, looked me IN THE FACE and said with a smile, "Thank you sir."
I said, "Wait! Whoa!" I turned to their mother, who was right beside them, and I said, "Your children have excellent manners." I got down on the children's level and said, "Do you have any idea how nice, as an adult, it was to hear that from you? Do you have any idea how respected I feel right now? Thank you." Turning back to their mother, I said, "Your children will have no trouble in this world. If this is the way they make adults feel, they will get every job they apply for, they will get every opportunity they try for, because they have absolutely no competition."
I have worked in many places. I have hired people, managed people, and lead a staff right now. I believe I would argue that I would rather have a respectful employee than an intelligent employee. I would rather have an employee that is respectful to customers than one who got straight A's but treats people terribly. Parents, are you emphasizing respect as much as grades? Are you emphasizing respect as much as sports?
Believe me, respect is the universal language. Disrespect is the universal turn-off. People have all the time in the world for a polite, respectful person. They've got no time at all for a disrespectful jerk. If doors are closed to you, or your children, take a look at how respectful you are or they are. Do you use "sir" or "ma'am" especially when speaking to someone older? Do you use "thank you" and "please" or are they absent from your vocabulary?
Maybe your problem is that you simply aren't respectful, or your children aren't. Model respect for your children. They will follow suit. By teaching them respect, you will ensure their success in this world. They will stand out because, like I said before, they will have NO competition.
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