Why I Worry When I Hear that Someone is "On Fire" For God

Most of us would admit that we are far better at STARTING things than we are at finishing things. 

Staying faithful to our commitments is one of the most difficult (it seems) things in life. Committing to marriage and staying married for fifty or sixty years, committing to a healthy lifestyle and STAYING with that healthy lifestyle, committing to a task and staying committed to that task- the people who do those things are the ones who will do well in this world.

We all know people who were committed to something but aren't anymore. People who were committed to their church or the Christian faith but aren't anymore, people who were committed to a job but aren't anymore, people who were committed in marriage but aren't anymore- the list goes on. 

We truly are a bipolar society- getting fired up about the new thing, boldly proclaiming our commitment to it, and then tiring of it quickly and moving on to the next thing. In fact, the louder and more passionate the proclamation a person makes about something, the more likely (I've observed) that it won't last.

As a pastor, I've seen tons of people "on fire for Christ." You hear people comment on it, "Oh, that person's just ON FIRE for Christ. He's just so ON FIRE for Christ. She's just so ON FIRE for Christ." Sounds good. Is it genuine? Sometimes. Most often, not. The people who are "on fire" for Christ are usually the ones who, in about two or three years, have walked away from the faith. The parable of the sower that Jesus told describes these folks as the "rocky soil"- that spring up quickly and quickly fade away. While in the beginning their faith looks amazing, in the end these people are of no use to God's kingdom and are in the same boat as the hard-packed soil which never produced a crop to begin with (in Jesus' parable).

Instead of celebrating the person who is apparently "on fire" for Jesus, we should celebrate the person who has been quietly faithful to God for a number of years. The person who makes no big public pronouncements, the person who does not boldly make all kinds of statements, but who day in and day out, month in and month out, year in and year out, continues to show up, continues to serve, continues to stay faithful- that's a person to be commended and looked up to. 

In life, it really only matters what we FINISH. What we start out to do, what we really WANT to do, doesn't matter. In life, it's only the things we stay faithful to and see through to the end that will matter. 

Can you be counted on? That's the big question.

"I Don't Even Know How To Start."

Something pretty amazing happened at the jail yesterday as I was teaching Inside/Out Dad. The topic we were presenting was “Working With Mom and Co-Parenting.” Needless to say, most of the men in the class have a lot of brokenness between the them and the (sometimes multiple) mothers of their children. Tough topic to teach. Always is. 

One of the younger guys, probably mid-20s, who rarely says much, all of a sudden commented how his ex keeps his son away from him, never allows him to see him, and can’t be reasoned with. “I haven’t seen him in three years,” he said. And then I saw him drop his head and he started sobbing. 

This doesn’t happen often in jail, needless to say. Then, one of the other guys said, “You keep going, man. This class has taught us that. He’s worth it. Keep fighting for him. You got this, man.”

As class was ending, I circled the guys up for prayer as always. I asked one of the guys to pray for the young man, and then I would close. The guy said he would, then looked at me and said, “I don’t even know how to start.” I said, “Just say, ‘Dear Lord’ and then say what you need to say.”

What followed was not a flowery speech, but rather a halting, unsure-of-what-to-say, but genuine prayer where he asked God to help the guy next to him. He asked that God would look out for other man’s son, that his ex would drop the hostility, and that he would make parole soon so he could get back in his kid’s life. 

Amazing. A prayer from a jail cell. 

I have a feeling that God loved it. In Jesus parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, two men went up to pray. The Pharisee prayed about himself and how great he was, but the tax collector just said, “Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.” That’s what pleases God. 

As I left the jail, I realized once again that people are people. The men in jail love their kids as much as I love mine. Dads are dads. Pretty amazing day yesterday.

Happiness

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.
Your amount of happiness in life will be determined by the difference between reality (what is actually happening) and your expectations (what you want to happen or what you think SHOULD happen).

For example, if you make $10/hour and you expect $20/hour, you are going to be unhappy. Your expectations are greater than reality, and your happiness is in negative numbers. If you are making $10/hour and you only expect $5/hour, you will be happy. Your happiness is in the positive. See how that works?

We have a limited ability to affect reality. We can change jobs, improve our lot in life, etc to a limited degree. However, we have total control over our expectations. Those are determined solely by ourselves.

The biggest cause of unhappiness in the world today isn't reality. The biggest cause of unhappiness is unrealistic expectations. Expectations that don't correspond to reality. Expectations that are not possible. That is the biggest cause of unhappiness in the world.

That's why a person making a $1 million per year can be unhappy. That's why a person who married way above their pay grade can be discontent. That's why Americans, who are the wealthiest people in the history of humanity and are in the top 10% of wealthiest people in the world, complain more and whine more than people far worse off. Expectations. Reality is to a large degree set. We can affect it some ways, but what we have total control over is expectations.

Today, take a hard look at your expectations. Take a hard look at what you are expecting from people. Take a hard look at what you are expecting in life. Are they realistic? Do they correspond to reality? Are you capable of changing reality to meet those expectations? Sometimes we are. A person who is miserable in his or her job can start a new business and bring reality up to expectations. Some of us can do that. Most of us can't.

Therefore, we need to adjust our expectations. This is why Abraham Lincoln said, "I have found that people are generally as happy as they make their minds up to be." That's very true. That's because happy people have controlled their expectations to the point that they are close to or actually less than reality.

The happiest marriages are the ones where both believe they got better than they deserved. The happiest people in the world are the ones who can't believe they have what they have. The happiest people I know are the ones who can't believe that God would send His Son to die for us, taking our place and taking our sin.

You are as happy as you make up your mind to be. Happiness is reality minus expectations. Take a hard look at your expectations- if you're unhappy, that's the cause of it. Either change reality or change your expectations if you want to change your level of happiness.