I was a youth minister for nine years, and have continued to work with Christian teens since. I led a high school small group at my house for a year, as well as going on youth trips, retreats, and outings. One thing that I will tell you that I've noticed in many Christian teens: they are incapable of Christian conversation.
They are well-versed in Twitter and Snapchat. They can speak for hours on the Kardashians or whatever country music star is in the spotlight. They can speak for days on school, sports, or whatever topic suits them. Bring up the Bible? Bring up faith? Bring up Jesus? Blank stares.
This certainly isn't all teens, but the vast majority of them are this way. These are kids who have spent their entire lives in church. These are teens from Christian families. However, they are unable to have any kind of meaningful Christian conversation. Why is this?
There is one major factor in whether or not a Christian teen is able to have Christian conversation. One factor. It isn't the health of the youth group. It isn't the health of the church. It isn't anything like that.
It is the degree to which Christian conversation happens in their homes.
Teens who regularly hear Christian conversation from their parents are the ones who are able to speak about their faith outside the home. Teens who sit at the dinner table with mom and dad and hear thoughts on Jesus' words, opinions on faith matters, and reflections on life are the ones who are able to carry on Christian conversation with other teens and adults.
In my family, my children regularly hear Christian conversation, not just in my home, but in the homes of the grandparents as well. Hardly a family gathering goes by that they don't hear the adults talking about church, talking about spiritual disciplines, talking about world events through a Christian lens, talking about issues and problems and everything else through the filter of Scripture. They regularly hear their grandparents reflect on how Scripture is to be lived out in life. They regularly hear Jesus' words spoken from one Christian to another.
How about your family? Do your children hear Christian conversation from you?
Believe me, they hear all kinds of conversation. That conversation shapes their beliefs, morals, values, views on church, views on Jesus, views on life, and everything in between.
Exposing our children to adult Christian conversation is probably the best way to teach the faith. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught, and one hour of Sunday church a week is a poor substitute for Christian parents sitting around a table speaking about their faith journeys in front of their children, inviting them to participate and develop their worldview from a Christian perspective.
How often do you share your faith journey with your children?
How often do you comment on world events from a Christian perspective?
How often do your children hear about what you are reading in the Bible?
How often do you use car time, meal time, etc to communicate the truths of the faith to your children?
The inability of our Christian teenagers to have Christian conversation shows that not much of that is going on in Christian homes. Christian teenagers should readily be able to engage adults in matters of faith- speaking of experiences and participating in discussions of things more important than the recent celebrity crisis or the most recent sexual exploit of pop singers and divas.
Can your child engage in Christian conversation? Can you?
I think we make passing along our faith more difficult than it really is. We certainly need directed times of study and prayer. That much is certain. However, your children are much more likely to pick up their faith from you in casual conversation. Explain to them your decisions- why you made this or that decision according to your faith. Explain to them your faith journey- where you were ten years ago and how your beliefs have changed as a result of your growing faith. Explain to them, and invite their participation in, a teaching of Jesus that you struggle with. All of that builds faith in our families.
John Paton, a Scottish missionary, wrote this about his childhood growing up, "Our place of worship was the Reformed Presbyterian Church at Dumfries . . . four miles from our home, but the tradition is that during all these forty years my father was only three times prevented from attending the worship of God. Each of us, from very early years, considered it no penalty, but a great joy, to go with our father to church; the four miles were a treat to our young spirits, the company by the way was a fresh incitement . . . A few other pious men and women, of the best evangelical type, went along with us. And when these God-fearing peasants gathered on the way to or from the House of God, we youngsters had sometimes rare glimpses of what Christian talk may be and ought to be. They went to church, full of beautiful expectancy of spirit- their souls were on the outlook for God, and they returned from church, ready and even anxious to exchange ideas as to what they had heard and received of the things of life."
People, that's as good as it gets right there. Children listening to the Christian conversations of adults around them. Learning from adults as the adults' conversations revolve around the things of God. That is how we disciple our children. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught. Maybe we need to grab hold of this and make it happen in our homes. The future of your children's faith will most likely depend on it.
They are well-versed in Twitter and Snapchat. They can speak for hours on the Kardashians or whatever country music star is in the spotlight. They can speak for days on school, sports, or whatever topic suits them. Bring up the Bible? Bring up faith? Bring up Jesus? Blank stares.
This certainly isn't all teens, but the vast majority of them are this way. These are kids who have spent their entire lives in church. These are teens from Christian families. However, they are unable to have any kind of meaningful Christian conversation. Why is this?
There is one major factor in whether or not a Christian teen is able to have Christian conversation. One factor. It isn't the health of the youth group. It isn't the health of the church. It isn't anything like that.
It is the degree to which Christian conversation happens in their homes.
Teens who regularly hear Christian conversation from their parents are the ones who are able to speak about their faith outside the home. Teens who sit at the dinner table with mom and dad and hear thoughts on Jesus' words, opinions on faith matters, and reflections on life are the ones who are able to carry on Christian conversation with other teens and adults.
In my family, my children regularly hear Christian conversation, not just in my home, but in the homes of the grandparents as well. Hardly a family gathering goes by that they don't hear the adults talking about church, talking about spiritual disciplines, talking about world events through a Christian lens, talking about issues and problems and everything else through the filter of Scripture. They regularly hear their grandparents reflect on how Scripture is to be lived out in life. They regularly hear Jesus' words spoken from one Christian to another.
How about your family? Do your children hear Christian conversation from you?
Believe me, they hear all kinds of conversation. That conversation shapes their beliefs, morals, values, views on church, views on Jesus, views on life, and everything in between.
Exposing our children to adult Christian conversation is probably the best way to teach the faith. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught, and one hour of Sunday church a week is a poor substitute for Christian parents sitting around a table speaking about their faith journeys in front of their children, inviting them to participate and develop their worldview from a Christian perspective.
How often do you share your faith journey with your children?
How often do you comment on world events from a Christian perspective?
How often do your children hear about what you are reading in the Bible?
How often do you use car time, meal time, etc to communicate the truths of the faith to your children?
The inability of our Christian teenagers to have Christian conversation shows that not much of that is going on in Christian homes. Christian teenagers should readily be able to engage adults in matters of faith- speaking of experiences and participating in discussions of things more important than the recent celebrity crisis or the most recent sexual exploit of pop singers and divas.
Can your child engage in Christian conversation? Can you?
I think we make passing along our faith more difficult than it really is. We certainly need directed times of study and prayer. That much is certain. However, your children are much more likely to pick up their faith from you in casual conversation. Explain to them your decisions- why you made this or that decision according to your faith. Explain to them your faith journey- where you were ten years ago and how your beliefs have changed as a result of your growing faith. Explain to them, and invite their participation in, a teaching of Jesus that you struggle with. All of that builds faith in our families.
John Paton, a Scottish missionary, wrote this about his childhood growing up, "Our place of worship was the Reformed Presbyterian Church at Dumfries . . . four miles from our home, but the tradition is that during all these forty years my father was only three times prevented from attending the worship of God. Each of us, from very early years, considered it no penalty, but a great joy, to go with our father to church; the four miles were a treat to our young spirits, the company by the way was a fresh incitement . . . A few other pious men and women, of the best evangelical type, went along with us. And when these God-fearing peasants gathered on the way to or from the House of God, we youngsters had sometimes rare glimpses of what Christian talk may be and ought to be. They went to church, full of beautiful expectancy of spirit- their souls were on the outlook for God, and they returned from church, ready and even anxious to exchange ideas as to what they had heard and received of the things of life."
People, that's as good as it gets right there. Children listening to the Christian conversations of adults around them. Learning from adults as the adults' conversations revolve around the things of God. That is how we disciple our children. Christianity is far more often caught than it is taught. Maybe we need to grab hold of this and make it happen in our homes. The future of your children's faith will most likely depend on it.
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