Today I had a shocking realization. I think it was straight from heaven- an epiphany, a Holy Spirit visitation, a "light bulb" moment, if you will.
I really love my wife.
Yep. That's the realization. Now, don't get me wrong- I haven't been estranged or separated or even neglectful of her. We've been married almost 16 years and have been through good times and awful times together.
However, the immensity of my love for her hit me today.
We were sitting at Chik-fil-A for lunch (I've recently started making efforts to carve out more time for her during the day due to our crazy schedules in the afternoon/evening time), and it just hit me. This is my bride. This is my love- the mother of my children, the woman that I am traveling through this brief time on earth with, the passion of my heart, and the delight of my eyes.
It made me realize how long it's been since I felt that.
I think it is easy for married men such as myself, all the while wanting to be excellent husbands and fathers and NOT take our wives and families for granted, to slowly and unnoticeably allow passion to fade and be replaced by maintenance mode. And because of the world we live in, "maintenance mode" is seen as an acceptable state to be in- I mean, at least we're not getting divorced, right? In this world, anything above divorce court is seen as a great marriage.
I'll admit that even pastors allow maintenance mode to set in. Yes, imagine that. The high holy men of God are just as vulnerable to marital entropy as anyone else.
I decided sixteen years ago that I would not settle for an average marriage. I want a thriving marriage, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it a thriving marriage. With three living children, a full-time pastoral job, part-time coaching, three kids in sports, and my wife with a part-time job, it certainly isn't easy to make a thriving marriage happen. However, realizations like today make it possible and even desirable.
I hope that if I ever allow maintenance mode to set in again, God will wake me up. Not by condemning or criticizing, but by waking me up to the love and passion I have for my wife. I pray that God will do the same for all the married men and women out there as well.
God bless you all.
I really love my wife.
Yep. That's the realization. Now, don't get me wrong- I haven't been estranged or separated or even neglectful of her. We've been married almost 16 years and have been through good times and awful times together.
However, the immensity of my love for her hit me today.
We were sitting at Chik-fil-A for lunch (I've recently started making efforts to carve out more time for her during the day due to our crazy schedules in the afternoon/evening time), and it just hit me. This is my bride. This is my love- the mother of my children, the woman that I am traveling through this brief time on earth with, the passion of my heart, and the delight of my eyes.
It made me realize how long it's been since I felt that.
I think it is easy for married men such as myself, all the while wanting to be excellent husbands and fathers and NOT take our wives and families for granted, to slowly and unnoticeably allow passion to fade and be replaced by maintenance mode. And because of the world we live in, "maintenance mode" is seen as an acceptable state to be in- I mean, at least we're not getting divorced, right? In this world, anything above divorce court is seen as a great marriage.
I'll admit that even pastors allow maintenance mode to set in. Yes, imagine that. The high holy men of God are just as vulnerable to marital entropy as anyone else.
I decided sixteen years ago that I would not settle for an average marriage. I want a thriving marriage, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it a thriving marriage. With three living children, a full-time pastoral job, part-time coaching, three kids in sports, and my wife with a part-time job, it certainly isn't easy to make a thriving marriage happen. However, realizations like today make it possible and even desirable.
I hope that if I ever allow maintenance mode to set in again, God will wake me up. Not by condemning or criticizing, but by waking me up to the love and passion I have for my wife. I pray that God will do the same for all the married men and women out there as well.
God bless you all.
