Parents: stop opposing your kids' desire to serve God

It is a well-known rule among youth ministers that any youth wanting to do something great for the Kingdom will encounter the greatest opposition, not by their unchurched friends, but by their churchgoing parents. 

During my nine years of youth ministry, I cannot tell you the number of students who wanted to do something radical for God- go to the mission field, start a school-based ministry, go to Bible college, go into full-time ministry- but simply didn't because of their parents. 

I believe it boils down to the fact that many parents, as well-meaning as they are, aren't as concerned with raising their children to follow God as they might believe.

Oh sure, I believe churchgoing parents want their children to be good people.  They want them to make honest decisions, live lives of integrity, forgive others, and other things like that. 

The problem is that non-Christians can do all those things.  None of those things requires the presence of the Holy Spirit within their child.  And if your biggest goals for your child can be accomplished without the leadership of the Holy Spirit, there is a big problem.

The main reasons that parents gave when they found out that their children wanted to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to do radical things for the gospel were 1) it was too dangerous, and 2) it would ruin their lives.  I'm not arguing with reason #1.  Following God with a passion IS dangerous.  You can't read the Bible for five minutes without finding someone up to their neck in trouble for following Jesus.  However, if you were able to ask those guys if following Jesus was worth the risk, 100% of them would say absolutely yes.

I wholeheartedly disagree with reason #2.  Doing radical things for God's kingdom will not ruin their lives.  The only thing that it will ruin is the complacent vision of suburban American life that has invaded the church and is passed off as acceptable to God.  We truly have people in our churches who, to quote Mike Yaconelli, "want their kids to grow up to have a nice life, a nice house in the suburbs, a nice BMW in the driveway, 2.3 nice kids, a nice jacuzzi, and a nice closet full of clothes." 

I would argue that the OPPOSITE is true.  I think that following this complacent vision of suburban America is what will ruin their lives.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Most men lead lives of quiet despair."  I have found that is true.  The only people that I know that aren't leading lives of quiet despair are the ones whose lives have been gloriously "ruined" by God.  They are people who are doing amazing things for God's kingdom- loving the unlovable, planting churches, going to the mission field, stepping out on the edge, adopting children, and other radical things that complacent people criticize.

Parents, I understand that you want your children to be safe.  I want that for my children too.  However, I don't want my children to be safe at the risk of them not accomplishing what God wants them to accomplish on this earth.  John Wesley said, "I am immortal until my work is done."  So are your children.  If they are going out to be obedient to the call of God on their lives, it is God's job to protect them.  Believe me, He will.  It takes no faith on your part whatsoever to keep your kids at home, discouraging their every attempt to follow God in a way that you deem unsafe.  It takes great faith to turn them loose into the hand of an Almighty God who has big plans for them.

What I am afraid of is a bunch of people leading lives of quiet despair cranking out another generation of people who will lead lives of quiet despair.  A generation of parents leading lives of quiet despair preventing the next generation from living out a fantastic calling from God because they themselves cannot imagine anything other than a life of quiet despair. 

So, if you are a parent, stop opposing your children's desire to serve God in ways that you don't understand.  Let them step out in faith and follow God if they have a calling.  Help them discern their calling through prayer and wisdom, but don't oppose them.  Maybe we'd have more giants of the faith coming out of our churches if their parents hadn't discouraged them early on.  Maybe the reason that the church in America is in such trouble is that the very ones God is calling to ignite it are being opposed, not by Satan, but by parents who claim Christ as Lord and Savior. 

Parents, stop opposing your kids' desire to serve God.

Training our kids to succeed in things that don't matter

One of the most haunting quotes I've ever heard was by Francis Chan.  He said, "Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding in things that don't really matter." 

As a Christian parent, I have realized that a lot of what I do as a parent is to train my kids to succeed in things that don't matter.  At least, things that won't matter for eternity.  Things that won't matter in a hundred years.  Things that won't matter in fifty years.  Things that won't even matter in ten years, or even in five.

My three children are athletes.  Good athletes.  They excel in their sports.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm a huge sports fan.  I love sports.  I continue to play sports to this day at age 39.  Who I am as a man was largely crafted by sports- I learned how to push myself, how to win, how to lose, how to compete, how to work hard, how to work within a team- all lessons I continue to use today.

However, when I was a child, sports consumed my life.  They consumed the life of my family.  Faith was pushed to the back burner as the schedules of competitive soccer, track, baseball, and basketball consumed our weekends, making no time to participate in a faith community.  Success on the soccer field became paramount to my identity.  The commitments of my teams took precedence over all other commitments I had.

I am no longer a part of those teams.  I am not a professional athlete.  Nor will I ever be.  Now, no one remembers that I scored the winning goal in the West Chester Lakota U-12 Consolation bracket championships in 1986.  I had succeeded in something that didn't really matter.

How many of us, Christian parents, are seriously training our children to succeed in things that will matter for eternity?

Are we stressing the need to take the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20 seriously?  The disciples you make in this world matter for eternity.  That is succeeding in something that really matters.

Are we training our children to love Scripture?  To commit to living the teachings of Jesus every day, rain or shine, in hard times and good times?  That is succeeding in something that really matters.

Are we training our children to follow through with commitments?  To be responsible and to be ready for adulthood?  That is succeeding in something that really matters.

Are we training our sons to take manhood seriously?  I have to say that we as American parents are failing in this category.  Our sons are growing up having none of the same goals as previous generations of men.  Previous generations of men have, usually by their mid-twenties, accomplished most of the goals that define manhood- self-sufficiency, the ability to provide, marriage, and fatherhood.  Today's boys, on average, are growing up with the desire to linger in some kind of extended adolescence as long as possible.  Video games, long associated with the teenage years, are increasingly consuming the time of young men who used to spend that time raising a family and working.  Parents, train your sons to take manhood seriously.  That will be something that really matters.

Are we training our daughters to take womanhood seriously?  I hate the media portrayal of young women:  brash, foul-mouthed, materialistic drama queens who pretty much sit around and complain all day.  Parents, this is the vision that the media has for your daughters.  Are you preparing them for true womanhood?  Someone who works hard, sacrifices, loves her family, and "does everything without complaining and arguing (Philippians 2:14).  Someone who understands that beauty is fleeting, but a woman who loves the Lord is to be prized above all else?  Someone who exemplifies Proverbs 31?  That would be succeeding in something that truly matters.

Are we training our children to be financially wise?  Or are we training them to spend every penny of God's money (yes, it is God's money, not theirs) on things that will be in a yard sale in a year?  Are we teaching them the beauty of giving, of generosity, of savings, and investing in things that God would approve of?  That would be succeeding in something that really matters.

I hate to think that our sons and daughters will grow up succeeding in things that don't matter.

I hate to think that the thing our children will be best at is surfing the internet and getting to the next level of Black Ops.

I hate to think that our children will succeed in sports to the detriment of commitment to their faith family.

I hate to think that our children will succeed in making money, but will not know how to use that money wisely.

I hate to think that our children will be intellectual but not wise.

I hate to think that our children will be indifferent instead of loving.

Parents, what are you training your children to succeed in that really matters?

Satan, above all else, is a deceiver

Satan has a tough job.

He is charged with the task of keeping humans away from God, which is a big deal.

He also, at least in a Western context, needs to keep himself hidden and work in the shadows.

So, how does Satan work within those parameters to accomplish his task of causing the temptation, sin, and destruction of the people God has created?

Answer:  he deceives.

As a pastor, I see all kinds of things that people do in their daily lives.  Many of them are good, and many of them are bad.  However, there is one thing that I am seeing so much of that I don't believe it's a coincidence.  I don't even believe it is stupidity.  I am beginning to believe it is part of an elaborate strategy, straight from hell itself.

This observation?  It's simple.  People don't see the connection between their behavior and their life situation.

If I were Satan, I believe one of my biggest and best strategies would be to blur the connection between a person's behavior and the consequences of that behavior.  When the person doesn't see the connection, they won't learn the lesson and will continue the behavior.

For example, do people really see the connection between their spending habits and their financial situation?  I mean, do they REALLY?  The reason Dave Ramsey is so popular these days is because people have NOT seen the relationship.  They have not seen the correlation between the cause (spending too much money) and the effect (debt up to their ears). 

Do people see the connection between their dating/marriage practices and their relationship status?  How many people do we know that consistently fall for the "wrong person" (who looks eerily similar to the last "wrong person" they fell for)?  They are unable to see the connection between the cause (being attracted to the wrong traits or not judging by character) and the effect (a broken heart, devastated family, bitterness, pain). 

Yes, Satan is good at his work.  Very, very good.

I was talking with a friend of mine who has made it his life goal to get even with every person who has ever wronged him.  He told me, "When somebody hurts me, I hurt him back."  He told me he's been doing that his whole life.  You see where this is going.

I asked, "And what are the results of that?"

He said, "Well, I'm a mess.  I have all kinds of guilt, can't keep friends.  In fact, life just pretty much sucks."

I helped him draw the correlation between the two.  He began to see that his actions are the reason why he is where he is right now.

I believe that this is one of Satan's greatest tools to destroy us as people.  If he can blur the line, blur the connection between our actions and their results, we will continue in the same sick patterns of behavior that continue to destroy us.  He must spend a good amount of time laughing at the fact that the correlation between our actions and our life situation is so obvious, but we just simply miss it.

I was talking with a young man who was in a very critical phase of his life.  He had just inherited a large sum of money and came to me for advice on what to do. 

I told him to invest it.  I told him, "If you don't have a plan for that money, it will be gone in a month."  I showed him investment strategies, what the potential return could be, etc.

He told me that I was the first person who had explained any of that to him.  His family had told him to spend it all.  All of it.

I said, "Tell me about your family situation."

He proceeded to tell me that his family has been poor for generations.  His parents live in a one-room apartment, have no savings, spend every penny they have, and wonder why they are in their fifties and have nothing to show for it.

I helped him draw the correlation between his family's advice and his family's life situation.  He had never seen it before.

This is the primary way that Satan keeps us in bondage to sin.  The primary way that humans learn is through making mistakes and feeling the consequences.  If Satan can keep us from feeling the consequences, or better, can make us learn the wrong lesson from our actions, he has us beat.  We will continue in self-destructive behaviors, passing them down to our children and grandchildren, never seeing the correlation between our life situation and the actions that led to them.

Today, my prayer is that the Holy Spirit will counteract Satan's greatest tool.  I pray that through the power of God, people will truly see that their life situation is the result of their own actions.  If we want a different life situation, we have to start making different choices.  If we want a different life situation, we have to start by taking different actions.

The call of God in these times is to lead a life that has been made new.  Why go back to the old ways?

What if we don't?

After a truly amazing Ash Wednesday service (yes, we are not even five years old yet and we are an Independent Christian Church, not Catholic or high church or anything like that and we STILL celebrated Ash Wednesday) I was reflecting on the theme.

The theme was 2 Chronicles 7:14- "If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land."  That is a popular verse and is oft quoted.

But what happens if we don't?  What happens if we don't do what that verse says?

I think many of us look at that verse and say to ourselves, "That sure would be nice, but right now things aren't that bad.  If we don't do what that verse says, we'll just kinda stay where we are and continue on with life as we know it."

I don't think so.

The reason I don't think so is that history doesn't show that to be the truth.  Those words were spoken to the nation of Israel, who in later years would abandon the Lord (probably lots of reports of young people leaving the faith came out), devolve into sexual immorality, sacrificing children to idols, following false gods, and being consumed with materialism.  They were called to repent, and they didn't.  So things just kinda stayed where they were, right?

Wrong.

When God calls a nation to repentance, it isn't because it might be considered a good idea, or because it would allow the people to live their best life now, or even because it is harmful to the people.

It's because God knows what the next step is.  That next step is Judgment.

And now you say, "Oh, Dave, you're starting to sound like those idiots on the street corner calling us all to repent or we will be going to hell.  We've all heard that before."

Well, actually, no.  I'm studying history, and those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  Why do you think the story of the fall of Israel is in the Bible?  It is in there so that we can learn from it, to learn from their mistakes, to turn from the path that they took that led to their destruction.

If you truly study the last days of the nation of Israel, they look eerily similar to the current situation in America.  You see the same arrogance towards God and His word.  You see the same sins against children- they sacrificed their children to idols named Molech and Asherah, and we abort our children and sacrifice them to the idols named Ease and Comfort and Materialism and Self-Actualization.  You see the same sexual immorality.  You see the same lack of character- dishonesty, laziness, blaming others for their own faults, disrespect of parents, and destructive words from the peoples' mouths.  You see the same pursuit of money and materialism.  I could go on.

So what if we don't repent, turn from our wicked ways, pray, and seek the face of God?

Israel was invaded by the kingdom of Assyria and completely wiped out.  Could the same thing happen to America?

Yes, it could.  There is a reason why the saying, "History repeats itself," is so common.  It's because it is true.

That is why it is so essential for us all to take 2 Chronicles 7:14 seriously- there are severe implications if we don't.  It is more than just a nice verse.  It is more than just a promise of God to us as people.

It is God's call to us to act before it is too late.

The nation of Israel refused to.  You know what happened. 

Right now, it's up to you and me- pray for our nation.  Pray that we will, as a nation, repent of our wicked ways and humble ourselves before God.  Pray that a nationwide revival will take place so that we can avert the judgment, which will be totally right and fair and justified, that is coming because of our sins.  Wake up to reality that if we don't do what 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, we will feel the full wrath of God in this nation.  I believe that right now God is waiting on our response.

The non-political reason the SOTU address bothered me last night

I watched the State of the Union address last night.  It bothered me.

It didn't bother me because of Obama.  I'm no Obama fan, but the guy has a tough job and I think everyone, myself included, could cut the guy a little slack.  I certainly wouldn't want his job.

It didn't bother me because of what he said. 

It bothered me in what he didn't say.

This entire month, God has called me with intensity to pray through 2 Chronicles 7:14.  This verse calls God's people to humble themselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from their wicked ways.  In turn, He will hear us, forgive our sin, and heal our land. 

It is apparent to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, that our country is in trouble.  I hear it every day.  People know that we are on the wrong track- our economy is stagnant, our moral fabric is being ripped apart, our country is in debt up to its ears, the people are in debt up to their ears, churches are not serious about the Great Commission, divorce is tearing our families apart, drug use is epidemic, and there is truly no fear of God in our culture. 

What I heard last night were a bunch of human solutions to spiritual problems.

What I didn't hear was any call to repentance or turning from our wicked ways so that God could heal our land.  I didn't hear God mentioned at all until the very end, when he said, "God bless America." 

I would love for God to bless America.  But God doesn't bless sin.

I believe that God would like nothing more than for 2 Chronicles 7:14 to happen.  He wants to forgive our sin and heal our land.  He doesn't want to see America go down the tubes, nor does He want our people in bondage to addiction, children growing up fatherless, churches stagnant, people living in sexual promiscuity, etc.  He truly wants our land to be healed.

But a doctor can't heal a patient until the patient decides to stop doing what is making him sick.  We in America haven't decided to stop doing what is making us sick.  In fact, not only do we continue to do the things that destroy us- now we are APPLAUDING the things that destroy us.  We are actually in the stage where we are calling evil good and good evil. 

The State of the Union bothered me because there was no humility before God.  There was no talk of repentance- no talk that we as a nation had forsaken our first love and wandered in defiance away from God.  There was no admission that we are a sinful nation deserving of God's judgment.  No call to fasting and prayer.  In other words, it sounded futile and powerless.  It sounded like we were willing to do whatever it would take to heal this land . . . .  EXCEPT what it would take to heal this land.

For example, one thing said last night was that he hoped we could, "Eliminate AIDS in one generation."  Now, we all know how to do that.  We could do that right now without it costing a single penny, without any medical research, without any government program, and without really any effort at all.  The solution?  Biblical sexuality.  Keep the car in the garage until you are married, and stay faithful to that person for life.  Oh, and stay off drugs.

That's the solution.  God has already presented it to us.  It's foolproof and is guaranteed 100% effective.  We all know it- it's not rocket science.

However, we would rather spend billions of dollars doing medical research, developing drugs, sponsoring government programs, lobbying, and failing rather than embrace the solution.  God can't heal us of the AIDS epidemic because we are continuing to do the very things that bring it on. 

The Bible has offered solutions to every single one of the problems we as a nation are facing.  None of them were mentioned last night.  I wonder why this is?

It is because to embrace what the Bible says takes humility.  It takes repentance.  And that's not something Americans are willing to do.  At least, not many.

Therefore, because of our inability to repent and humble ourselves, two things will happen.  One, we will continue to spin our wheels offering human solutions that fail.  We will try more stimulus money, more regulations, more government, more laws, more rules, more taxes, more programs, all with the same results.  But the second thing is much darker.

Two, we will begin to see God's judgment on this nation in an increasingly intense manner.

I remember a preacher telling me that if God doesn't judge America, He'll have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah.  And the Assyrians.  And the Babylonians.  And the Hittites.  And the  . . . .

I have never in my life felt such a burden for my country.  I have never been driven to my knees in prayer like I have this month.  I wonder if this is a critical juncture in America- could this burden on my heart, and on the hearts of so many other Christians, be the last final push of the Holy Spirit to bring us to repentance?  Could this be the final warning delivered to us before God's final judgment? 

All I know is that last night I saw nothing that would lead me to believe that anyone in Washington is serious about leading us on a path to God.  That is the only path that will bring healing to this nation.  If the people in Washington won't lead us on a path to healing and blessing, and are instead leading us on a path that leads to judgment and destruction, then it is the job of the people to lead. 

Lead where you have influence- your school, your church, your friends, your office, your business, your sports teams, etc.  Call people to 2 Chronicles 7:14.  Challenge them to do the four things in the first part of the verse.  I truly believe that we are running out of time.  Pray through these two verses today.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14:
“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

God has changed me this month

Many of you know that for this month I am praying through 2 Chronicles 7:14- "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land" twice each day at 7:14 in the morning and 7:14 in the evening.  I called this the 7:14 challenge- it is a challenge to pray for my country, my community, and my church.

I started off this challenge focusing on the end of the verse- that God will heal our land.  I look around at divorce, school shootings, disrespect of elders, breakdown of the family, churches bogged down in division and drama, churches not serious about accomplishing the Great Commission, corruption/incompetence in government, etc, and I see a country that needs healing. Badly.

But as I have prayed through this verse this week, my focus has shifted to the FRONT part of the verse.  Before God can forgive our sin and heal this land, there are things He requires His people to do.  

Humble yourself.

Pray.

Seek His face.

Turn from your wicked ways.

I realized with sadness that this is not something that many people are inclined to do.  I'm a pastor, and calling even CHURCH PEOPLE to do these four things is tough.  America is not a country that is known for being humble.  We are not a country who prides ourselves in turning from our wicked ways; in fact, the current cultural climate tells us that there ARE no wicked ways.  There is only what is right for you and what is right for me.  The worst thing that an American can do is to tell someone that what they are doing is wrong.  You can do just about anything else, but if you try telling someone that their actions are sinful or wrong, you've just become a (fill in the blank with appropriate politically expedient insult- bigot, jerk, judge, Bible thumper).

So I found myself wanting to give up.  There would be no forgiveness of sin for this country and no healing of this land because we were unwilling to do what it would take for that to happen.  That's when I realized that only God can cause people to humble themselves.  Only God can call people to turn from their wicked ways.  Only God can call people to pray and seek His face. 

So, I stopped praying that God would heal this land.  

Instead, I started praying that God, through His Holy Spirit, would call people to repent.

I started praying that God would call people to humble themselves.

I started praying that God would call people to pray and seek His face.

I realized that I cannot ask God to heal a land that does not want healing.  I cannot ask God to forgive the sin of a prideful nation ("God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble"- James 4:6).  

What I realized was that there was no point in God healing this land if the things that make us sick are still here.  Our wicked ways and our pride, along with a lack of prayer and seeking God, have gotten us where we are.  Only when those things are gone from us, our churches, our families, our communities, and our nation will God be able to heal this land.  

In practical terms, only when our wicked ways and pride are gone from our communities will we see God's healing in the form of a reduced divorce rate.  Only when those things are gone will we see God's healing in the form of the eradication of drug addiction.  Only when those things are gone will we see God's healing in the form of the disappearance of school violence.  Those are things that leave a community when the people turn from their wicked ways, humble themselves, seek God's face and pray.  

So, I call you to join me in prayer that God will simply call us to give up the things that are destroying us.  Only then will He forgive our sin and heal our land.