If there's one thing I'm 100% fed up about, it's this . . . .

I'm sick of people in positions of authority not getting the thanks/respect they deserve.

Yes, I said it.

We live in such an anti-authority culture right now. Cops are getting shot. If they aren't getting shot, they are being baited, insulted, screamed at, you name it. Teachers are being cussed out by students and parents. Pastors are maligned and gossiped about. Parents are ridiculed. Just about anyone in authority right now is in this culture's crosshairs.

When I was in school, I couldn't stand fellow students who disrespected the teacher. I even got upset at students who disrespected the substitute teacher. I hate anarchy and chaos, which is what disrespect for authority always creates. I hate mob mentalities and I hate social breakdown. All of that happens when authority is disrespected.

I was talking to the husband of a teacher who teaches fifth grade. He told me that just this past week, one of her students called her a "bitch" and said, "I have no idea how you are married." Another student had threatened her physically. These are ten and eleven year olds doing this to adults.

Cops tell me that if they drive down certain streets, they are jeered and mocked and insulted as they drive by.

I'm tired of the anti-authority climate we are living in right now.

It is tearing apart our communities. It is tearing apart our nation. I don't want to be part of a nation where cops are the enemy and thugs are the victims. I don't want to be part of a community where law and order has broken down and no one wants to be a cop anymore due to the lack of respect and safety. I don't want my children going to schools where teachers are cussed, disrespected, and unable to do their jobs because of the constant discipline problems of disrespectful, unruly kids. I don't want to live in a society where those who labor and toil are the bad guys and those who are rude, insolent, and incorrigible are seen as the good guys. I don't want to live in a country where thugs and hoodlums wait for an authority figure to make a mistake and then pounce with lawsuits and public shaming, making everyone else walk on eggshells afraid to do their jobs.

That's when societal breakdown happens. That's what I see happening in America right now.

Even those who don't actively oppose those in authority- do you actively support those in authority?

Too often, we set up a welfare-type relationship with those in authority. In a welfare relationship, all the gifts and services flow one way: from the authority to the people. There is nothing that goes from the people to the authority. Welfare-type relationships are always unhealthy. When one side does all the giving and the other side does all the taking, it never ends well. You can change that.

Move towards a more "community-type" relationship with authority. Unlike welfare, in community relationships gifts and services flow both ways. People are both givers AND receivers. These are much more healthy relationships.

Ask yourself this question: how do I benefit from those in authority over me?  How does your child benefit from his or her teacher? That's obvious. Now the harder question- how does my child's teacher benefit from me? How do I bless him or her? How do I encourage him or her? That's community, not welfare.

How do I benefit from the policeman down the street? That's obvious. If a thug breaks into your home, he is the first responder. Now the harder question- how does the policeman benefit from me? How do I bless him? How do I encourage him? How do I make his job easier and more enjoyable? That's community, not welfare.

Church members, how do you benefit from the work of your pastor? Has he counseled you in marriage? Has there been any wisdom you've gleaned from a sermon? You wouldn't be going to the church you are going to if you were benefiting from his work. Now the tougher question- how does your pastor benefit from you being part of the church? That's community, not welfare.

Get rid of the welfare-type relationships we have with authority and begin a community-type relationship with those in authority around us.

Here are some recommendations that I will make so that you can be a different person in this culture:

1) If you see a cop or cops at a restaurant, buy them a milkshake, take it over to them, and tell them that you appreciate what they do.

2) Write the elders in your church a thank-you note for their oversight of the church. There are good elders and there are bad elders, but I've never seen a lazy elder. Being an elder is a lot of work and the Bible says they deserve our respect. Let them know you appreciate them.

3) Support your teacher when she calls out your kid for misbehavior. Yes. Your kid isn't perfect and most likely isn't being persecuted by a mean teacher. When I was a kid, my parents were always on my teachers' side. It was good for me. I survived. So will your kid. You will be an anomaly to your kids' teachers, because they certainly don't see much of that these days.

4) Pray for your pastor. Then write him a note telling him you prayed for him. You have no idea how much it means to us when we find out we are being prayed for by the congregation we serve.

5) Do something kind totally at random. When my family was in India, one of the people in our church came over and mowed and edged my lawn. I hadn't been able to get it done before we left and it would have been a jungle nightmare when we got back. When we arrived back home, my yard looked amazing. That has to be one of the kindest things someone has ever done for me as a pastor.

Whatever you do, we need to stop this anti-authority thing we have going on in this country. Authority is necessary. Is it always right? No. Those who abuse their authority should be removed at once. However, don't make the good ones pay for the actions of the bad ones. Support the good ones. Be a blessing to those in authority over you. Our country is unraveling before our very eyes, and it's because we have lost respect for the institutions that have in the past held us together. We need to be above the cultural norm. Start appreciating those in authority over you, because they have a big job. I fear for the future of a country that consistently denigrates and disrespects those who are called to lead.

Actually, I don't fear for the future of that country, because there won't BE a future for that country.

One forgotten reason you should attend church this Sunday

I was talking with a man who will remain nameless a few months ago. Suffice it to say that he is a close family member. We were discussing church.

This man is not a person to mince words or hold his opinions back, and when I asked him how church was that Sunday, he answered, "Not good."

"Not good?" I answered. He is a very dedicated Christian, probably one of most devout Christians I've ever known. He and his wife never, and I mean NEVER, miss a Sunday worship meeting.

"Not good," he continued. "I have no idea how the preacher can stand up there for thirty minutes and say absolutely nothing, but he managed to do it Sunday. I enjoyed the music, but overall, leaving church this past weekend I didn't feel inspired, didn't feel like I had worshiped God, didn't really walk out of there with anything, actually."

"Is this a common thing?" I asked.

"Yep," he said. "Pretty much every Sunday."

My wife, who was with us, jumped in.  "So why do you and your wife continue to go to that church? Why do you go? Why do you waste your time there?"

He got very serious. He paused for a second and the words came out very slowly, but powerfully:  "Because someone there might need to see me. Someone there might have had a terrible week and is on life support spiritually. Someone there may need encouragement. Someone there may need to know that there are other Christians around.  That's why."

He continued. "I'm old. I've heard plenty of sermons and studied the Bible a great deal. I don't think my faith would decrease if I never heard another sermon. That's not my role in the church anymore. I'm there because other people need me."

What an amazing attitude.

In our consumer-driven society, church has become all about me. What I can get. What I like. What I don't like. What is in it for me. What is in it for my family. And if it doesn't happen to meet every one of my expectations, wants, and needs it is a waste of time. How many of us have THAT attitude instead of this man's attitude?

How many of us don't particularly like Sunday morning church services?  Probably quite a few. That's okay. There are times I don't like them either. Sometimes I really love them, and sometimes I wish I were anywhere but there . . . . and I'm the preacher.

But how many of us have the maturity to say, "I'm not part of a church to consume, to get. I'm part of a church because other Christians need my witness. Other Christians need my example. Other Christians need my encouragement. Other Christians need my discipleship."

How many of us look at the Sunday morning meeting and say, "I'll bet there are young people there who are floundering around in their walk with Christ, and they need me to help guide them?"

How many of us, this weekend, will remove all of the consumerism that's been drilled into us as Americans and will approach church with an entirely different attitude? How many of us will get out of bed, turn off the tv, skip the soccer game, skip the shopping trip, not because of an inspiring Sunday morning service but because you know that someone there needs your presence there?

When we begin to view our involvement in a church like that, we know we are maturing in Christ.

We need more people like this man in our churches.

Now, I'm not giving a free pass to ministers. Ministers should be the hardest working men on the planet, because what happens when we preach and teach has an effect for all eternity. I'm not giving them a pass. Messages SHOULD be inspiring. Worship services SHOULD be encouraging.

But we need more people who are not looking to consume to fill our seats on Sunday morning. We need more people who are there to be examples, to be leaders, to be mentors, to be ENCOURAGERS to other believers on Sunday morning.  This is a forgotten reason you should go to church this Sunday.

Someone there might need to see you there. And it's as plain and simple as that.

Parents, will your children continue in faith when they graduate high school?

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but most likely no.

When I was a youth minister, I was haunted by the statistic that showed that 80% of children who grew up in the church, who were active in youth ministry, whose parents were Christian, who went on youth trips and mission trips and were baptized and the whole nine yards abandoned the church within six months of graduating high school.

So I knocked myself out trying to make sure we reached the kids in middle school and high school. I planned more and more events, did outreach to hundreds of kids, taught the Bible, took the kids on mission trips to let them experience their faith, and literally did everything in my power to DEFEAT that statistic. I even told my youth volunteers that the mark of success in our ministry was, "if these kids are still part of the church when they are eighty years old."

I failed.

I don't have hard data, but just an estimation is that the ministries I was in charge of had the same retention rate as everyone else. There are now quite a few kids, who are now adults, who are not only NOT part of the church but are militant atheists, mocking and scoffing at all things Christian. Many times, these were leaders- some of the most dedicated kids I ever saw.

Do I still believe in youth ministry? Yes. But I have learned one painful thing- it is incomplete. Woefully incomplete.

Converts may leave the faith. Church members may leave the faith. Baptized believers may leave the faith. Disciples, however, don't.

Disciples don't leave the faith. They don't leave the church. And this is what has been causing the 80% statistic- we have failed to make disciples out of our children and teenagers.  But who, pray tell, is responsible for discipleship? Whose job is it to make disciples out of our children and teens?

Parents.

Christian parents, to be exact.

When Jesus gave the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20, He told all His disciples to "go into the world and make disciples." That is our job. That is our one task. It isn't to win the world. It isn't to be successful and rich. It isn't to have a large crowd. It is simply to make disciples.

Parents, listen- your first disciples are your children.

I am asking you, literally begging you, to wake up. I am tired of listening to heartbroken parents whose children have come home and said, "I'm not going to church anymore." I'm tired of beating my head against the wall trying to design ministries, sermons, trips, etc that will somehow make lifelong disciples out of your children. Guess what? I can't. No pastor can. God has given this task to YOU- and to me as a parent- to disciple our children.

Children's ministries and youth ministries are good things. In fact, they can be excellent things. But they are not enough to reach your child. Only you can do this. This is a task given to you and you alone.

Right now I am teaching my oldest daughter how to drive. It has been a scary experience, to say the least. Putting a teenager in charge of a 2000-pound vehicle going seventy miles an hour is enough to make even the toughest parent a little queasy. However, it is my job to teach her as well as I can so that she will be prepared to drive by herself one of these days. The job of the parent is to ride in the car with the teenager, letting her practice, giving her real-time feedback about what to do and how to drive.

However, every parent knows this is a temporary situation. The permit phase of driving has a time limit, and no parent is expecting to still be riding shotgun with his daughter twenty years from now. No, the purpose is to train them up and let them go out on their own. This is what discipleship is. It is walking with your child through life's decisions, training them in godliness and faith, with the understanding that they will be leaving the house and walking in faith on their own.

How many parents really do this when it comes to their Christian faith? Sadly, not many.

So parents, I want you to close your eyes and fast forward to the time when your child is graduating high school. He will be going off to college soon. He will have freedoms he has never had before. Have you adequately prepared him, from a faith perspective, to continue in his faith when he is no longer around you? Does he know how to walk with Jesus, to serve, to grow in faith, without you? Is he prepared to handle pressures of adult life, making decisions that honor God and will keep him firmly rooted in the faith he grew up in?

Now, parents, I want you to imagine that he comes home from school for Christmas break. Sunday morning rolls around and you are preparing to head to church. He is still in bed. You go wake him up to go to church as a family like you normally do. Through still-closed eyes, he mumbles, "I'm not going."

"But we go to church as a family," you say.

"Church was fine when I was a kid, mom," he says, "but I'm just not interested anymore. I'm not going."

You stand there shocked.

How do I know this?

This was a conversation I overheard in my home when my brother came home from Emory his sophomore year. I remember how upset my parents were. I remember being pretty mad at him. I remember my parents questioning their parenting, pleading with him over the next several years to come back to faith. By the grace of God, he's back, but only after life knocked him around and about destroyed him.

I don't say that to criticize my family. God has been gracious to us over the years. What I am saying is I pray that never happens to any of you reading this blog. However, unless something changes, about 80% of you WILL have that conversation with your children when they graduate high school.

Parents, disciple your children. If you don't, it's pretty much a guarantee that at some very soon date, they will abandon their faith. Their eternity will be in question. They will make decisions based on Hollywood's and the media's influence, not the Bible's. They will become no different than those around them- they will have the same values, the same goals, the same lifestyles, the same everything as any other non-Christian around them.

Nothing concerns me more as a parent.

God has given you a task. You are to make disciples. Your first disciples are your children. It is YOUR responsibility to bring up children in the faith. Church on Sunday isn't enough. Youth group and CIY trips aren't enough. Teach them the Bible. Lead by example. Discuss world events through a Christian lens. Believe me- they are listening. Constantly ask them, when it is time for a decision, what a Christian would do. Teach them to pray over big decisions- who to date, where to go to school, what sports to play, what friends to choose. Do all of those things through the lens of discipleship.

I'm tired of seeing undiscipled young people grow up and leave the church. I'm tired of comforting distraught Christian parents who are mourning their child's exodus from the faith. I'm tired of having to pray, again and again, for someone's grown child who "grew up in the church and should know better" as they abandon their faith and move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage. I'm tired of always dealing with the symptoms of a lack of discipleship in the home.

Let's take on the root- let's move our homes into ones where our main job is discipleship. Our main job as parents is to pass on a living, vibrant faith to our children. If that isn't happening, we are missing our main priority. After all, in 150 years, your children's faith, or lack of faith, is all that is going to matter.