If you ask parents today what they want for their children, the most common answer will be for them to be "happy."
That makes sense. We love our kids and, well, why not? Why not want them to be happy? Why not make that the focus? What- do you want them to be sad?
I don't want my kids to be sad, but I'm not real concerned with whether they are happy or not. That's not a goal of mine as a parent. Nor should it be for you.
Instead, I want my kids to have character.
Character comes from the Greek word kharakter which meant a "stamping tool." In ancient times, artisans would use a kharakter to etch carvings in stone or wood. This indicated a permanence (hence the saying, "etched in stone" meaning something unchanging and eternal) that was not changed easily or quickly. Character is a permanent etching on our children, meaning they exhibit consistency in belief, action, word, and thought.
Character is who you are when no one is looking. Character is what prompts you to give back money when the cashier has given you too much change. Character is what prompts you to tell the truth even when you could get away with a lie. Character is your undying sense of right and wrong; it is what motivates the employee to go the extra mile, what motivates the spouse to stay faithful through fifty years of marriage, what motivates the child to do his best work at all times.
That is what I want for my children.
A child with character becomes an adult with character. An adult with character will become a worker with character, a spouse with character, and a father/mother with character. This person will never have to worry about finding a job, being second-guessed by his or her spouse, or worry about an action coming back to bite them. A person of character will have, over the long run, doors of opportunity wide open, because a person of character can be trusted and therefore will experience a great life.
That's what I want for my children.
Parents, spend a little less time being concerned with your child's happiness and spend a little more time building their character. I would take a person of character any day of the week over a person of intelligence, a person of ability, or a person of wit. Intelligence, ability, and wit mean nothing without character behind them. If you truly want your child to be happy, spend time building their character, not their happiness.
When they have character, they will be happy. A person who is trusted by all, a person who is known for doing good work, a person who is known for getting the job done, a person who is known to be honest in all circumstances, a person who repeatedly and consistently shows respect to his or her elders . . . . THAT person will be extremely happy.
My job as a parent isn't to ensure my kids' happiness. If they want to be happy, that's on them. It is up to them to be "happy." It is my job as a parent to build their character so that they have a permanent etching, something unchanging and eternal, about them.
When we raise children of character, they will in turn grow up to be happy. Unfortunately, the reverse is not true. Emphasizing our childrens' happiness will not result in character. Too often, it leads to the exact opposite. Raising up a child with an emphasis on his or her happiness many times leads to a spoiled child who cannot handle life. That is a person of no character. Sadly, that is what is being seen more and more and more in today's world.
The well-intentioned goal of the American parent, for their children to be happy, has backfired. By emphasizing happiness over character, we have unwittingly raised a generation of children who are open to anything and everything that comes along; a generation who will fall prey to anything Hollywood or Facebook or mass media will tell them. By blurring the lines of right and wrong and instead emphasizing "whatever makes you feel good," we have hamstrung our children and robbed them of the very thing we as parents were tasked with giving them- character.
I want my kids to be happy. It's just that I want that happiness to come out of a life of virtue, of consistently making the right decisions, of being rock-solid in their beliefs and not compromising on who they are. I don't want their happiness to come from me. I want it to come from within themselves.
My job is to build character in my kids . . . . and then let the happiness they experience in life flow from that.
That makes sense. We love our kids and, well, why not? Why not want them to be happy? Why not make that the focus? What- do you want them to be sad?
I don't want my kids to be sad, but I'm not real concerned with whether they are happy or not. That's not a goal of mine as a parent. Nor should it be for you.
Instead, I want my kids to have character.
Character comes from the Greek word kharakter which meant a "stamping tool." In ancient times, artisans would use a kharakter to etch carvings in stone or wood. This indicated a permanence (hence the saying, "etched in stone" meaning something unchanging and eternal) that was not changed easily or quickly. Character is a permanent etching on our children, meaning they exhibit consistency in belief, action, word, and thought.
Character is who you are when no one is looking. Character is what prompts you to give back money when the cashier has given you too much change. Character is what prompts you to tell the truth even when you could get away with a lie. Character is your undying sense of right and wrong; it is what motivates the employee to go the extra mile, what motivates the spouse to stay faithful through fifty years of marriage, what motivates the child to do his best work at all times.
That is what I want for my children.
A child with character becomes an adult with character. An adult with character will become a worker with character, a spouse with character, and a father/mother with character. This person will never have to worry about finding a job, being second-guessed by his or her spouse, or worry about an action coming back to bite them. A person of character will have, over the long run, doors of opportunity wide open, because a person of character can be trusted and therefore will experience a great life.
That's what I want for my children.
Parents, spend a little less time being concerned with your child's happiness and spend a little more time building their character. I would take a person of character any day of the week over a person of intelligence, a person of ability, or a person of wit. Intelligence, ability, and wit mean nothing without character behind them. If you truly want your child to be happy, spend time building their character, not their happiness.
When they have character, they will be happy. A person who is trusted by all, a person who is known for doing good work, a person who is known for getting the job done, a person who is known to be honest in all circumstances, a person who repeatedly and consistently shows respect to his or her elders . . . . THAT person will be extremely happy.
My job as a parent isn't to ensure my kids' happiness. If they want to be happy, that's on them. It is up to them to be "happy." It is my job as a parent to build their character so that they have a permanent etching, something unchanging and eternal, about them.
When we raise children of character, they will in turn grow up to be happy. Unfortunately, the reverse is not true. Emphasizing our childrens' happiness will not result in character. Too often, it leads to the exact opposite. Raising up a child with an emphasis on his or her happiness many times leads to a spoiled child who cannot handle life. That is a person of no character. Sadly, that is what is being seen more and more and more in today's world.
The well-intentioned goal of the American parent, for their children to be happy, has backfired. By emphasizing happiness over character, we have unwittingly raised a generation of children who are open to anything and everything that comes along; a generation who will fall prey to anything Hollywood or Facebook or mass media will tell them. By blurring the lines of right and wrong and instead emphasizing "whatever makes you feel good," we have hamstrung our children and robbed them of the very thing we as parents were tasked with giving them- character.
I want my kids to be happy. It's just that I want that happiness to come out of a life of virtue, of consistently making the right decisions, of being rock-solid in their beliefs and not compromising on who they are. I don't want their happiness to come from me. I want it to come from within themselves.
My job is to build character in my kids . . . . and then let the happiness they experience in life flow from that.
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