A man is at his best when he is a protector

There's no doubt that men aren't doing so well in America these days.

Boys are medicated at vastly larger rates than their female counterparts and are continually outperformed in schools.  This continues past high school- males now account for just over 40% of college graduates.

Many of our younger men are having trouble growing up.  They are experiencing difficulty in accomplishing the previous generations' marks of manhood- financial independence, marriage, fatherhood, and career.   

Many of our middle-aged men have failed in the areas of husband and father.  This is seen in the increasingly popular term "baby daddy." 

One of the reasons for this is simple selfishness.  Yes, there are many men out there who are just flat-out selfish.  They want what they want, with no commitments or sacrifice or cost or perseverance, and once they get what they want, they're gone.  This might explain some of the problems with guys.  However, I think there is something bigger at play.

Men are simply confused.  We really don't know what it is we are supposed to be doing.

An increasing number of men have never had an example of a man to follow.  Many grown men have been raised by women, women, and more women.  They were raised by a single mother, who then took them to daycare with female workers.  Then they went to public school with an overwhelming majority of female teachers.  Maybe a music teacher or gym teacher was male, but that was about it.  Couple that with the fact that they go over to their friends' houses, all of whom live without a dad in the home- is it any wonder that our boys are growing into men without any idea of what it means to be a man?

Men learn by example.  We learn by observation.  When there is no example, there is no learning.  Single mothers can do their best, and many of them do, to raise their sons, but they can't do everything the boy needs. 

To make this confusion worse, so much of what previous generations have considered "masculine" are simply laughed at and mocked in today's contemporary culture.  Men are portrayed in media as confused buffoons, needing their wise and all-knowing wives and female counterparts to straighten them out at every turn.  I believe this has been bad for both men and women.

I believe that the solution to this crisis of manhood is to go back to the beginning- back to the dawn of creation when men and women were created.  What was the man created to do? 

Why was the man created to be physically stronger than the female?  This isn't being sexist- this is reality.  Men WERE created to be physically stronger.  The question is: why?  Why were men created with an innate sense of risk and adventure?  Why were men created to be less emotional and more objective?  This was not a mistake, and this is not belittling to females.  Men ARE different, and I think it's time we stop trashing and belittling these things, or worse, seeing them as dangerous (something to be controlled and medicated out of existence), and start realizing these are wonderful gifts men can bring to the family and to a society.

I believe the reason men were created the way they were is summed up in one word:  PROTECTOR.  That's why men were created the way they were.  I believe a man is at his best when he is a protector.  Men were created physically stronger, desiring risk and adventure, because God gave him his role to protect and provide for his family.

Men are at their absolute best when they take the role of protector seriously.  What woman wouldn't give anything to have a man who loves her enough that he would give his life to keep her safe?  What child wouldn't want a strong father to keep him or her safe day in and day out, year after year?

I don't believe that this role is an accident.  I believe that God placed me on this earth for many reasons- to lead people to Christ, to be a church planter/pastor/missionary, to leave this world better than I found it, etc.  However, my primary role on this earth is to care for and protect the four people God has given me in the form of my family- my wife and three children.  I am to ensure that they are physically safe, physically provided for, and in need of nothing.

However, I am also to ensure that they are emotionally safe.  I am here to ensure that they know what love truly is.  I am here to ensure that they know who God is and what His plans are for them.  I am at my best as a man when I take my role as protector seriously.

Does this mean that I hover over every aspect of their lives like a bodyguard?  Sometimes.  But not very often.  The young and the weak need protection more than the strong, so at certain times I will have to be "a bodyguard."  However, the goal of parenthood is to train our children for adulthood- to prepare them for independence.  This is the ultimate way of protecting them- to ensure that they have the life skills to stand on their own two feet, to be strong and independent, to be able to take life's challenges head-on and conquer them, to be able to take disappointment and keep going, and to always remember that faith is the key to it all.

I believe this society would be far better served with men who take their role as protector seriously. When this happens, it changes everything.  A man cannot be self-centered and be a protector at the same time.  A self-centered man is concerned about only himself; a protector is concerned about others.  Seeing yourself as a protector, men, changes the entire way we view our time, our money, our energy, our free time, our words, and our priorities.  It changes the decisions we make, the words we say, and the way we run our lives.

How different would this world be if we had fewer self-centered men?

Men, we are at our very best when we are in our role as protector.  Our wives and children need that from us.  Our society needs it from us.  Our churches need that from us. 

The most important thing, however, is that is brings us closer to the image in which we were made.  We were made in the image of God.  We were made strong, brave, and adventurous with a desire for sacrifice and duty.  That's the way men were created.  That's what our families need- for us to be strong, brave, adventurous, and to take seriously the sacrifices and duties that come with leading a family.  We were made in the image of God- let's start leading our families like we know it.

Government Scandals re-awaken America's sense of right and wrong

Nothing awakens the awareness of right more than the overwhelming presence of wrong.

Put another way, the presence of evil awakens a person to the value of good.

Our government is swimming in scandals.  We can't even count the number of things that are being daily brought to light- Benghazi scandal, IRS targeting of conservatives and Christian groups, EPA scandals, IRS lavish spending scandals, DHS causing ammunition shortages by buying up enough hollow-point bullets (illegal to use in warfare by Geneva Convention) to shoot every man, woman, and child in America 5 times, and most recently the mining of data by the NSA on cell phone carriers, websites, Facebook, Google, etc.

For many years now, America has been in a moral slumber.  There's no doubt about it.  Issues that would have grieved our grandparents barely even get noticed now.  There has been no real concern over the prevalence of porn in our homes, the breakdown of the family, the lack of honesty in classrooms and businesses, the lack of character demonstrated in our public officials, the ignoring of faith, the war on religion, the Kermit Gosnell abortion scandal, the gross misuse of money and the crushing debt incurred by Americans living above their means, etc. 

We have been asleep at the wheel.  We have been lulled to sleep by cultural forces that tell us that there is no objective right and wrong- that right and wrong are outdated concepts used by bigots and racists and knuckle-dragging Neanderthals to oppress the disadvantaged and disenfranchised.  We have been dozing on the lullaby sung by popular culture that God is irrelevant, judgment is bad, and that nothing is really "wrong." 

Not so any more.  We have been hit in the face with the 2x4 of true wrong.  The lullaby has ended, and in its place is a screeching alarm clock that has awakened us like a hydrogen bomb. 

The overwhelming magnitude of evil coming out of Washington (yes, I said the word "evil," because that's exactly what it is) has stopped the momentum of the secular humanistic forces wanting to fundamentally change our society.  We are seeing the fruit of a society without moral foundations.  The veil has been ripped away from our eyes- the veil that said, "People are basically good- we don't need faith in God, we don't need the Bible, we don't need strong churches, we don't need character, we don't need to be taught right and wrong.  Those things are detrimental to our society, and the "new" society will be a secular humanistic utopia without these outdated, archaic meanderings."

Well, we now know, as a nation, what happens when a nation loses its moral foundation.  We now see the value of faith, the value of objective right and wrong, the value of (gasp- dare I say it?) judgment.  We now see the value of a society that is able to judge right and wrong.  We now see the results of power without character, power without morals, power without a living fear of God.  We see how people without a fear of God will abuse power, how they believe they are above accountability, how selfishness and personal agenda rise to the top when unchecked by a strong faith in God.

This is a good thing.

It is a good thing to be confronted by evil.  It is a good thing for evil to smack a nation in the face, because without it, we would never know what "good" truly is. 

We, as a nation, have been like a naive teenager coming of age in a home where there is a strong, loving dad.  Dad has laid down rules that are to be followed, and the teenager resists.  He criticizes the old man, calls him "outdated, stupid, irrelevant" and runs away from home, determined to experience "real life" away from the repressive laws of his dad.  He wanders the streets, enjoying his new freedom.  He falls in with unsavory characters, who take advantage of his naivety and get him hooked on drugs.  He wastes away- doing their bidding, waking up in dirty rooms next to people he doesn't know.  He is beaten, robbed, and abused.  Finally, wearing threadbare clothes, penniless, broken, and depressed, he realizes that things were so much better when he was living with his dad. 

That's where America is right now.  We are literally the prodigal son.  We have left our Father and wandered to a foreign land and placed our fate in the hands of people who have no character.  We have been taxed to death, robbed, and oppressed.  We have watched our families fall apart, our sons and daughters raised without values, our churches become politically correct, the Bible absent from homes, and our schools become cesspools of misbehavior.  We have indulged in pornography and sensual delight, and it has left us broken and empty.  Now, in the face of the evil in our country, we are realizing how good we actually had it when we, as a nation, followed God. 

We are realizing that a society cannot exist without personal character and faith.  We are realizing that our homes are happier when they are based on the word of God.  We have been awakened to true evil- we have been awakened to the path that we as a nation have been on for years.  We are beginning to get what we paid for, and it doesn't look all that great.

Right now, it is time for Christians to call this nation to repentance.  We have to make changes, and we have to make them now.  We now see clearly what happens when a nation thinks it doesn't need God.  We now see clearly what happens when a country removes God from the picture- government scandals, Chicago-politics-gone-national, breakdown of the family, lack of honesty and character, and the list goes on.  Only by bringing 2 Chronicles 7:14 to ourselves, our homes, our communities, and our nation will anything change. 

"If My people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray to Me and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land."  2 Chronicles 7:14

I never knew this about Adolf Hitler . . .

He was lazy.

Contrary to the carefully-crafted, hardworking-Fuhrer public-relations image put forth by Joseph Goebbels, Hitler was a lazy bum.  An article called "Even Less to Admire" states the following:

"In the years leading up to war, he would go off on holiday for six months at a time, leaving no one in charge of Germany.  An interview with Herbert Dohring, his former bodyguard, revealed that Hitler frequently overslept, refused to write down his policies, and rarely issued written orders.  He refused to look at state documents and hated making decisions.  The result was "total chaos."  As far as Hitler was concerned, problems sorted themselves out."

Laziness is a character trait that is opposed to everything that is good and right in this world.  Even in Solomon's time, he observed the vices that came with laziness.  Several proverbs bear this out:

"How long will you lie there, you sluggard?  When will you get up from your sleep?  (6:9)

"I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins." (24:29-30)

"As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed."  (26:14)

Laziness has no place in the life of a Christian.  Laziness shows a lack of character that is deeper than simply oversleeping or refusing to work.  Laziness is the result of an abdication of the tasks that God has placed us here on this earth to accomplish.

Laziness also has a "cousin Eddie" that comes along with it:  excuse-making.  Laziness and excuse-making have no place in the life of a believer.  God is very concerned with our character, and the presence of these two evils twins in our lives are indicators that something is seriously wrong.

Contrasting Adolf Hitler and his laziness, I now give you the story of one of God's greatest servants, and a personal hero of mine, John Wesley:

"John Wesley averaged three sermons a day for fifty-four years.  In his work of evangelism he traveled by horseback or by carriage more than 200,000 miles.  His published works include a four-volume commentary on the whole Bible, a four-volume work on church history, six books on church music, and seven volumes of sermons.  He also edited a set of fifty books known as The Christian Library.  He was greatly devoted to pastoral work, taking on himself the care of all the Methodist churches, never rising later than 4 a.m. and seldom concluding his labors before 10 p.m." -Our Daily Bread

Of all the vices in our lives, laziness and excuse-making need to be near the top of things we have to eliminate from our lives NOW.  God is not honored by our half-hearted efforts at life; He is not honored by laziness at work, in marriage, in our Christian lives, or in anything else.  On the contrary, God's name is downplayed and minimized when those people that call Him Lord and Savior are known as lazy excuse-makers, allowing the non-Christians around them to work harder and accomplish more than they themselves do.  

Driving this laziness in our country is the growing entitlement mentality that is invading our culture and destroying our way of life.  People are becoming more and more dependent on others, allowing others to do the work for them, expecting the good life and benefits as if it were owed to them.  It used to be shameful in this country to make a lifestyle out of receiving charity and handouts.  People would rather die than take a handout- it was insulting to their dignity and to their pride.  Now, this does not apply to hardworking people that have come on hard times.  I have known many hardworking people that for a short season in life need assistance.  I am not talking about them.  I am talking about the growing number of people who are not only perfectly content living off of others, but are now practically demanding it from others.

It is to God's glory for His people to be hardworking, responsibility-accepting people.  We trash the name of God when we are entitled, lazy excuse-makers.  Let's rid ourselves of this way of thinking and commit ourselves to accomplishing what God wants us to accomplish here on this earth.

Dying for Christ is easy . . .

I have often wondered what would happen if someone put a gun to my head and asked me if I was a believer in Christ, knowing that if I answered, "Yes" he would pull the trigger and my life would be over.

Never having been in that situation, I really don't know what I would do.  I would most likely say, "Yes,"- not because I'm particularly brave or because I have a death wish.  I would say "Yes" because I think it would be the easier of the two options.

I truly think dying for Christ is easier than living for Christ.

To die for Christ in that situation would be a very quick thing.  You say "Yes" and you're dead.  End of story.  However, to LIVE for Christ takes a lifetime.  It takes daily surrender, daily spiritual discipline, daily study, daily battle with Satan, daily battle with discouragement, persecution, temptation, and falling away.

I'm probably more scared of going broke financially than I am of dying.  I think that doing what Jesus said in Luke 14:26-33, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. . . .
In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples," is harder than dying.  

Jesus is saying that the bare minimum requirement of being His disciple is to give up everything you have.  I think I'd rather die.  Seriously.  I truly think that I would rather take a bullet for Christ than give up everything I have.

See, if I were to take a bullet for Christ, my funeral would be grand.  I would be honored as a martyr- people would stand in line at the funeral to tell about what a soldier for Christ I was, how brave I was, how amazing my witness for Christ was.  I would go down in history as a hero.

However, if I were (as an American Christian) to sell everything I have, including my home, and give to the poor as Jesus instructed in Mark 10, I would be regarded as odd.  Strange.  "Extreme."  

I would have to suffer the daily privations that would go along with having nothing.  I would have to depend on God for daily food.  I would take no vacations, have no retirement, no luxuries.  I wouldn't know who won American Idol.  I wouldn't be able to take pictures of my kids and post them on Facebook.  I would have to endure and persevere and press on day after day, month after month, year after year.

That, I believe, is more difficult than dying for Christ.  And yet, most of us WON'T die for Christ.  Most of us will never have that opportunity.  So, we are stuck with the hard, impossible task of daily living for Christ.

But someone says, "Dave, you really aren't giving up anything that matters.  You gain the sweet fellowship with Jesus, the daily encouragement of the Holy Spirit, and you will see the amazing blessings in living the life of faith you just described."

I agree.  In living for Christ, we really don't give up anything that matters.  None of the things that I just named matter in the context of eternity.  Plus, there are blessings in living for Christ- fellowship, worship, family, watching the Spirit move through you to make an eternal difference in peoples' lives, etc.

I think this is why the apostle Paul said, "I am torn- I long to depart and be with Christ, which is much better, but it is necessary that I remain here for you."  

Given a choice between dying for Christ (in an instant) and living for Him over the course of a lifetime, which one would you choose?  Which one do you think is easier?

Changing no one but myself

One of the realizations as you get older is that you truly don't have a lot of influence.  Oh sure, you can help guide some people, but we truly are powerless to change anyone.

Except ourselves.

Let's face it- I can't make anyone more responsible, more loving, more forgiving, more respectful, or more joyful.  I can't make anyone less sinful, less bitter, less spiteful, or less despicable.  I can't make people do anything they don't want to do.

I can, however, make MYSELF more responsible, more loving, more forgiving, more respectful, and more joyful.  I can make myself less sinful, less bitter, less spiteful, and less despicable.

The only person I have control over is me.  Therefore, that's where all my energy needs to go.

I am the only one who will determine the depth of my relationship with God.  I alone control how much time I spend in Scripture, how much of my life I surrender to God, who and what I pray for, and how I will love people.  Instead of wondering why other people don't do things like I think they should, or fretting over someone else's lifestyle or decisions, I think I will divert my energy into changing only one person.

Myself.

Along with the realization that we can change no one except ourselves comes the realization that many times we don't allow God to be God.  Don't the Scriptures tell us that it is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict and challenge people to change?  Why, then, do we as Christians feel the need to play the role of the Holy Spirit?

It is true that the Bible tells us to speak truth.  That much is certain.  We are not supposed to pass over sin or evil without so much as a peep.  That being said, however, instead of trying to change other people, how about we pray and ask the Holy Spirit to change other people?  I'll let you in on a secret- the Holy Spirit does a MUCH better job of changing people than we do.  After all, He's God.

I think we as Christians would do a better service to this world, to our churches, to our families, and to ourselves if we simply attempt to change no one but ourselves.  I wonder what would happen if instead of trying to CHANGE people, we simply LOVED people and let the Holy Spirit do the changing.  Maybe we should divert the time and energy we have spent trying to change people into time and energy spent in prayer. 

It takes great faith in God to put this into practice.  After all, what if the Holy Spirit doesn't follow through?  What if He doesn't change the person? 

If the Holy Spirit can't change the person, you certainly can't either.

Simply love the people.  That is within your power, and it is within your responsibility.  Maybe the person who needs to change is YOU.  There is nothing stopping you from loving.  Nothing, that is, except yourself. 

Let God be God.  Change no one but yourself.  Love everyone including yourself. 

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  The second is like it:  Love your neighbor as yourself.  This sums up the Law and the Prophets."  -Mark 12:28

Why Benghazi doesn't matter and what that says about America

I've heard that there was a terrorist attack on our embassy in Libya about 7 months ago and four Americans were killed.  I've heard testimony that our military could have gone in and protected them, but they were ordered to stand down.  Then I heard that the current administration blamed the terrorist attack on a childish, poorly-directed youtube video making fun of Muslims.

Now there is all kinds of testimony going on showing how unbelievably screwed-up the whole situation is, probably leading to the White House and State Department itself.

And it doesn't matter one bit.  There will be no fallout politically for Obama or Clinton or anyone else in government, because America has changed.

Time warp back to 1974.  The news media reports that President Richard Nixon lied to the American people about his involvement in the Watergate break-in.  The American people hear the story and say, "Our president lied to us.  We don't want someone who lies to us leading this country."  Nixon resigns before he is impeached.

Fast-forward to 2013.  Some of the news media reports the Benghazi catastrophe.  The American people hear the story, but they don't say, "Our President lied to us."

One-half of the American people hear the story and say, "Well, that's just the Republicans politicizing the event.  They are just haters."  The other half, who hated Obama in the first place, say, "This just proves why this guy needs to get out of the White House."

We don't want truth anymore.

It doesn't matter if President Obama is completely at fault and is responsible for the deaths of the ambassador and the Navy SEALS.  If Fox News reports it, even if it's true, it is written off by Obama supporters as "hatin' on the President."

And before you think that this is all on the left side of the aisle, the folks on the right are just as bad.  When Bush implemented the Patriot Act and liberals screamed about government intrusion, Bush supporters blew them off.  When Bush established the unconstitutional Department of Homeland Security (something that has conservatives VERY concerned right now), folks on the right had no problem.  Now that Obama has simply continued Bush's policies, Obama gets the flak from the right and support on the left.

What this means is that it truly doesn't matter what happens in America anymore.  No one cares about truth.  They only care about their side.  And that is a dangerous place to be as a country.

This is why conservatives that are saying, "Stick a fork in this president- he's done" over the Benghazi incident are sorely mistaken.  I predict there will be no fallout whatsoever, because the folks that liked Obama before Benghazi will still like him, and the folks that couldn't stand Obama before Benghazi will still hate the guy.  Because we are a nation that doesn't care about truth or facts, our leaders will continue to do whatever they want and get away with it.

We will continue to hear stories like the butcher (also known as Kermit Gosnell) in the abortion clinics, and the pro-abortion people will argue racism or bury the story, while the pro-life people will holler and scream.  In the end, nothing will be done about it nationally.  There is no rationality, no objectivity, no sense of collective right and wrong left in this nation anymore.  We have completely thrown out any criteria for judging right and wrong, and so all we are left with is "how we feel" about an issue.

So what if the President lied to us?  We've thrown out the criteria that lying is bad!  So, because we don't collectively believe that lying is something a President shouldn't do, we give him a pass.  So what if an abortion doctor snipped the necks of live babies?  We've thrown out the criteria and killing babies is bad.  So, because we don't collectively believe that killing live babies is wrong, we explain away his behavior.

This is a sad statement about America.  It shows how far we have drifted as a nation.  We are a nation without a foundation, without moorings, without objectivity.  We are a nation that refuses to define good and evil.  We are a nation that would be unrecognizable by our founding fathers.  We are a nation that does not care about truth; we have replaced truth with subjective "feelings" that guide us irrationally and erratically.

Unless America wakes up and begins to care about truth again, we will not survive. 

We hear so much about parenting, but what about kids?

I've written a lot about parenting- well, that stands to reason, because I'm a parent.  We tend to blog and write and focus on things that are important to us.  There is an awful lot in the blogosphere about parenting.  However, in order to be a parent, you have to have children. 

There is a lot written about being a good parent- is there much about being a good son or daughter?

Not much.

It is interesting, however, that the first seven chapters of Proverbs are instructions from a father to his son.  They all start with the words, "My son . . . . " The very first proverb of Solomon in chapter 10 is about children, "A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother."  The Bible has a great deal to say about not only being a good parent, but also being a good son or daughter.

Why is this important?  Why can't we as a society just focus on good parenting?  Isn't that enough?

Nope. 

Someone once said, "Before you can be a good leader, you have to be a good follower."  Before you can be the CEO, you have to be the hourly employee.  You won't be any good whatsoever as the CEO if you don't do the daily mundane non-glorious jobs of the low man on the totem pole.

The same is true with parenting.  If you have no submission to parental authority in your past, you will be a terrible parent.  If you are one who bristles at anyone telling you what to do (as a child), you will be hell on earth to any kids you will have.  If you never learn to respect your parents, or any other authority figure in your life, you will be a scourge to your kids and all others who come into contract with you.  You have to learn how to follow before you can lead.

It is very important that we learn how to be good sons and daughters.

Now, this is a touchy subject, because not all parents are perfect.  Some parents are even any good at all.  Parents make mistakes, and it is very difficult to respect a parent that is not respectable.  It is difficult to be a good son or daughter to parents that are irrational, violent, abusive, manipulative, distant, inconsistent, or neglectful.  Those situations are unique and I am not discussing them here.

But what does it mean to be a good son or daughter?

If you read the book of Proverbs, it tells you in detail the answer to that question.  The first thing that good sons and daughters do is they bring joy to the parents (Proverbs 10:1).  Now, all parents have times when their children drive them nuts.  I did that to my parents and my kids do that to me.  What this proverb talks about is over the long haul, not isolated incidents.  A good son or daughter makes parenting a joy, not a burden.  So, ask yourself- does my relationship with my parent(s) bring them joy or sorrow?  Do my actions towards them turn their hearts towards me or against me?  Am I a stench in their nostrils or am I sweet perfume? 

The second thing that Proverbs tells us is that a good son or daughter works hard (Proverbs 10:5).  A lazy son or daughter is a disgrace to parents.  It puts terrible burdens of undone housework and chores on them.  It also almost guarantees conflict when the child refuses to grow up and get a job to support himself or herself.  Nothing pains a parent more than seeing his child do less than his best.  So ask yourself, "Am I am person with a good work ethic?  Am I constantly being reminded of what to do?  Do I purposefully procrastinate and lay around when there is work to be done?  A hardworking son or daughter is a blessing to the parents.  It is pure joy to parents to see their children self-motivated and industrious, because that means they have lots of character.

The third thing Proverbs tells us is that a good son or daughter responds well to discipline and correction (Proverbs 13:1).  A child, or adult child, that will not respond to discipline or correction is a thorn in the flesh to any parent.  They are rebellious and defiant without any submission to authority, and people like this never get anywhere in this world.  It pains parents to see their children go off on wrong paths and never respond to any kind of correction.  However, good sons and daughters make mistakes, get their rear ends whooped for it, and learn from it.  They respect the fact that their parents are the authority, they realize the mistake, and they don't make it again.  Parents understand that children make mistakes and are blessed when they see their children learning from them.  A child who takes correction and discipline well will be a blessing to all people.  We can't say the same about the opposite.

The fourth thing Proverbs tells us is that good sons and daughters have a great vision for life (Proverbs 23:17-18).  They don't envy "sinners"- they have no desire to follow the wrong crowd.  Instead, they have a vision for who they want to be and where they want to go, and this is a blessing to parents.  Instead of letting the bad characters around them determine their lives, they determine their lives for themselves.  They see a vision and go after it, committing themselves wholeheartedly for it.  Proverbs says, "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off" when that vision is followed.

The fifth thing that Proverbs tells us is that good sons and daughters choose their friends wisely (Proverbs 23:19-20).  We used to have a saying in youth ministry, "Parents, show us your kid's friends, and we'll show you your kid."  In other words, who the kid hangs out with is who the kid is.  Plain and simple.  A good son or daughter realizes that his or her friends will determine the path in life.  It is a blessing to parents to see their children choosing their friends wisely.  It is a thorn in the flesh for children to choose the wrong kinds of friends.  Parents are very concerned about who has influence over their children, and it is a joy for the parents to be able to trust their child's friends.

Now, I am a parent, but I am also a son.  I will never stop being a son, and therefore, I will never stop needing to be a good son to my parents.  My father is 67 years old, and he is STILL a son to his mother (his father passed away in 1996).  You never stop being a son or a daughter, and therefore this is not just a blog for teenagers and children.  Many times, adult children have failed their parents, just as parents have failed their adult children.  It is paramount to realize that the onus is not 100% on the parents.  God did not set it up that way.  Children have the responsibility as well. 

Are you a good son or daughter?