Parents, before you discipline your children, make this one important distinction

Discipline is a touchy subject when it comes to children. Most parents don't know that the word "discipline" comes from the Latin word "disciplus" which means "to teach." When we discipline our children, the purpose isn't to punish. The purpose is to teach.

With that in mind, when our children do something wrong, we need to ask this very important question: was it evil or was it stupidity?

Evil is very different than stupidity. I would define evil as something from the heart- lying, bullying, premeditated scheming, violence towards another person, stealing, etc. Stupidity, while still in need of correction, would be something like playing ball and breaking a window, succumbing to peer pressure in the moment, etc. Those things, while wrong, aren't EVIL. They are things that normal kids do because they are, well, kids. And all kids are stupid.

I was stupid. You were stupid. Stupidity is part of childhood. We do dumb things that we know better than because we are not mature enough to do the right thing. It's a necessary learning phase we all go through.

The problem, however, is when parents don't distinguish between the two. Many parents don't ask "was it evil or was it stupidity?" Many parents treat a child breaking a window playing baseball (because he wasn't smart enough to not hit towards the house) and lying to an adult the exact same way. This is wrong. One was stupid, one was evil.

I grew up in a house where the distinction wasn't made. Right was right and wrong was simply wrong. It was black and white. No distinction. You did the crime, you did the time. Looking back on that, I want to do things differently. There were things that I did that were evil. There were things that I did that were stupid. My parents tended to treat them both the same. That's the way their parents were, and so on and so forth.

However, now that I'm a parent, I see that there is a big difference between the two. I believe that they need to be treated differently because they have different causes. Like I said, stupidity is a natural part of being a child. Of not knowing much about life. Of being immature. It's natural. Evil, however, is not natural. It needs to be rooted out, destroyed, punished, and gotten rid of quickly. They are vastly different things and need to be treated as such.

Many parents make the mistake of treating evil like it was stupidity or vice versa. They treat the fact that their child bullies others as just a natural part of growing up. It's not. It's evil. They also treat stupidity as if it were evil and overreact to everything. Both are wrong.

Parents, we must make the distinction between evil and stupidity. Evil is something that needs to be corrected immediately and punished fairly quickly and severely. If your child lies, bullies, talks back to teachers, steals, etc, you have a major problem. Don't laugh it off as part of a natural part of childhood. It's not.

Also, don't treat stupidity as if it were evil. Don't overreact when your child does something stupid that isn't evil. Be wise enough to distinguish between a mistake and genuine sin.

Now, I will say this- stupidity only happens once. If your child is playing baseball in the backyard and hits a ball toward the house and breaks a window ONCE, it's stupidity. If it happens twice, it's evil and needs to be treated as such. If your child succumbs to peer pressure and takes a drink of something ONCE, it's stupidity. If it happens twice, it's evil. The first time was a learning experience, and if it is true stupidity, the child will learn from it and not do it again. If it happens again, we have a major problem. Stupidity has turned into evil and it must be treated as such.

Far too many parents have failed to make this important distinction and have damaged their relationships with their children. When your child messes up (and they all will), before saying anything or doing anything, ask yourself, "Was this evil or was it stupidity?"

The answer to that question should guide you in how you discipline. Not all infractions are the same. Not all bad things our children do are the same. Be wise enough to know the difference. I have found that I am a far more effective parent when I treat evil as evil and stupidity as stupidity.

Remember, the purpose of discipline is to TEACH. Every wrong thing our children do is an opportunity for you as a parent to teach a valuable lesson about life. Make sure your children are learning the right thing.

Protected

About three weeks ago, I was riding my motorcycle with a good friend when I had a wreck. Needless to say, motorcycle wrecks can be very serious and people can be badly hurt or killed in them. I was very fortunate to only have some road rash. Really, the only thing REALLY hurt was my pride, because once everyone finds out you are okay, they make fun of you mercilessly. And that has certainly happened.

However, I'm okay only because of one thing. I was wearing protective gear. I had on a closed helmet with face shield, padded jacket, padded pants, gloves, and riding boots. Had I not had the gear on, I would be hurt very badly. Maybe even worse.

Here is a picture of my helmet:

Had I not had the helmet on, well, let's just say my face would look a lot different. There is a well-known saying when you ride motorcycles, "Dress for the slide, not for the ride." In other words, be prepared. When you ride, sooner or later, the slide may happen. Be prepared for it.

Because I was wearing my protective gear, I'm okay. I got some road rash on my right forearm and on my right hand. Quite honestly, I've had worse from skateboarding when I was a kid, and far worse from playing soccer over the years.

But back to the helmet. God showed me something with this picture. One of the most famous passages in the Bible is Ephesians 6:11-17 talking about the "armor of God."

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:11-17

God tells us to put on His armor, because we can get very hurt without it. I would hate to imagine what my body would look like had I not had on the motorcycle armor. However, what do our souls look like when we aren't wearing God's armor?

I would imagine many of our souls are very wounded. Maybe even broken. Not because of the attacks, because everyone is attacked. Everyone is tempted. Everyone has terrible things happen to them. Everyone "wrecks" from time to time spiritually. We sin. We fall short. We mess up. We do things that we know better than. Satan attacks our families, our lives, our professions. He gets at us through our kids, our loved ones, our friends.

The difference isn't in the attack. The difference is in the armor you wear. Are you prepared for the attacks? Is your head protected with the helmet of salvation- knowing that you are saved and that no one can snatch you out of God's hand? Is your heart protected with the breastplate of righteousness? Do you carry your faith like a shield, using it to counter discouragement and depression and indecisiveness and lukewarmness?

Or are you, like so many, open to every attack? I see people riding motorcycles in t-shirts and flip-flops, sometimes at speeds of more than 70 mph. Those are known as "SQUIDS"- Super-Quick, Underdressed, Imminently Dead." They are also known as organ donors. Is that you spiritually? Are you a Christian SQUID? Are you a Christian organ donor? Possibly so. Many of us are. And we are one temptation, one attack, one setback away from being devastated spiritually.

Probably the greatest spiritual attack happened in 2004 when my son died. That just about did me in. That was a motorcycle wreck spiritually. However, my wife and I both had on our armor. We had a knowledge of the truth of our salvation, that our son would be in heaven, and that this earth is temporary. We had faith like a shield that warded off depression and discouragement and anger. We had our hearts protected by the knowledge that we had done the right things and taken the right actions. Therefore we were able to stand. We were able to come out on the other side stronger.

Attacks will happen. "Wrecks" will happen. It's a guarantee. The only question is- will you absorb the attack or will your armor?

All I know is that my head was protected by my motorcycle helmet. It did its job. My torso was protected by the padded jacket. My knees and legs were protected by the padded pants. They did their job well. So does God's armor. God's armor is extremely effective in protecting you from attacks. The question is, are you wearing it?

Because of my motorcycle armor, I am physically okay. Because of God's armor, I am spiritually okay. And just remember- spiritual attacks are far more vicious than any motorcycle wreck ever would be. The body is temporary, but the soul is forever.

As I looked at my scarred up motorcycle helmet, I wonder if one day I will be able to see what my God armor looks like. I think I will be amazed at how dented, scarred, beat-up, and broken it truly is. As I think of what it looks like, I shudder to think that if I didn't have it on, what my soul would look like. Just another reason I am thankful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Not only did He take my sins, He takes the attacks. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

"Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

This video sums up why you should be part of a church

Sunday, May 20th, Catalyst did something really fun. It wasn't an original idea (we saw some other churches doing it so we decided to do it too), but it was awesome. We ordered a pizza to the church at the end of the service, took up a collection, and tipped the delivery driver $735 on a $14 pizza.

Here is the video:

There were so many blessings that happened that day, but one thought stood out above the rest. I've never singlehandedly tipped someone $735. That's hard if not impossible for someone of my financial means to do. I couldn't do that without significantly impacting my lifestyle, significantly scaling back expenditures for the month, or even going without paying some bills.

However, I seriously doubt that anyone who attended church that morning missed the money they gave to the guy. No one went hungry that day or missed a mortgage payment because of what they were able to give.

What this demonstrates is the power of WHAT WE CAN DO TOGETHER. Singlehandedly, we are very limited in what we can do and give. Together, however, we can do powerful things in this world. The church as a body can do so much more than individuals can. Christians that say, "I can be a Christian without being part of a church" are short-circuiting the potential for impact they can have on this world.

I don't know if you noticed or not, but the people in church that morning were having a blast. We were so excited when the guy showed up. We genuinely had more fun than he did. I immediately thought of the people who had better things to do that morning, or who slept in, or who just decided not to come to church that morning. DANG- they missed out. Not only did they miss out on having a serious impact on a hardworking delivery driver, but they also missed out on the joy of that moment.

That's why God wants us to get together every week with our church family. Look at what we can do when we are together. Individually, we are very limited. Together, however, we are capable of amazing things.

If you are a Christian who is not part of a church, I ask you to reconsider. Together we are capable of powerful things.

The sheer expense of immorality is staggering

America was once again rocked by the school shooting in Parkland, Florida.

As usual, the same arguments popped back up about how to fix it. Liberals shouted for gun control. Conservatives shouted for armed guards in the schools. Folks of different persuasions called for metal detectors, national databases to track mental health, cameras in schools, hiring former veterans to guard schools, etc.

Some of those solutions may work. Most won't. I'm not here to say which ones I support or don't support. All I know is that murder has been part of humanity since the first generation, and nothing has changed. Some people use guns. Other people use knives. Still others use vehicles to mow down pedestrians- see Europe in 2017. Some use box cutters. Some use fertilizer and diesel fuel. The very first murder in the Bible was done by Cain, and he used a rock.

Violence is a spiritual problem. Spiritual problems require spiritual solutions. There are no legal solutions to spiritual problems. You can't pass laws to fix spiritual sickness. However, we will still try.

And those legal solutions to the spiritual problem of immorality are very, VERY expensive.

Because the Florida shooter (I will not name his name- his name never needs to be mentioned again) disobeyed the spiritual command "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder" we now have to do something about it. We now have to put metal detectors in schools. That'll be a few million bucks. We now have to hire armed security. That'll be a few more million bucks. We now have to put in cameras and secure doors and develop lockdown procedures bringing in security experts to the tune of several more million bucks.

The cost of immorality to a society is staggering. And yet we are willing to pay that price to keep up with the facade that there is no objective right and wrong.

We would rather pay millions upon millions of dollars to "fix" these problems rather than admit that we, as a nation, have a morality problem. Leaders would rather spend these millions and millions of dollars than call this nation to repentance before God, emphasize objective right and wrong, and address this nation's immorality problem.

There used to be signs in every school that had a list of ten commands, the sixth of which was "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder." Students used to see those every day. Those used to shape the minds of kids. Well, thanks to our parents' generation, they decided that those were unnecessary in classrooms and they were removed by those who were "enlightened." Funny- there weren't many school shootings back then.

Now, with the Ten Commandments gone, with the objective moral law of "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder" gone from our schools and our lives, now we need metal detectors, armed guards, video cameras- basically a maximum security prison- for our kids to be "safe" at school. We are truly nuts.

Look at how expensive immorality is to our communities.

Aside from the expense of turning our schools into fortresses that Seal Team Six couldn't break into, look at the cost of the drug epidemic here in America. Look at the cost of law enforcement, special task forces, gang units, incarceration, drug treatment programs, Narcan, needle exchange programs. What could that money be spent on instead? Tons of things. However, because of immorality, we spend millions if not billions of dollars on this issue with no real end in sight.

Why are we in America so willing to pay these billions of dollars instead of doing the far less costly thing of repentance, turning to God, taking our families seriously, teaching values in the home, supporting our churches, and finding spiritual solutions to these spiritual problems?

Plain and simple- it's easier to throw money at something and feel satisfied about it than it is to repent and change. Many times, God accused the nation of Israel of being "stiff-necked." which means unable to repent. Proud. Arrogant. Convinced they were right.

Well, we in America are no different. We are stiff-necked. And our stiff-necked-ness is costing us billions of dollars every year trying to find solutions to problems that don't require us to change. How are they working out for us?

I would say we aren't getting a very good return on our investments.

I'm tired of hearing the blather from each side about what to do and how to do it. All I hear are legal solutions to spiritual problems. There ARE no legal, financial, military, or human solutions to spiritual problems. The spiritual problem of immorality is taking its toll on us as Americans. As America moves further and further away from Biblical morality, our "solutions" to our problems will grow more and more expensive.

Our immorality will bankrupt this nation.

We simply cannot continue to afford the cost of immorality. We can't put metal detectors in every shop, store, building, school, church, etc. We simply cannot hire enough armed guards to cover every place a shooter might go- soccer fields, high school baseball games, malls, parties, meetings, coffee shops, etc. We simply cannot afford the cost of immorality.

Unless America repents, turns back to God, begins taking objective right and wrong as dictated by God seriously, and changes her HEART, we will see very little effects from our billions and billions of dollars spent. How expensive has the war on drugs been? Yet we have more drugs now than ever. How expensive has school security been? Yet we still have school shootings.

Those of you who do not believe in God and do not see the value in doing things God's way, at least see the sheer cost of NOT doing things God's way in a society. We can't afford it. Even if you don't believe in God, I ask you to come around to seeing the wisdom of adopting His ways. Our human solutions aren't working, and they are too expensive. We must work to change the heart, to teach the value of human life, that all are created in the image of God and therefore are of infinite value.

That and that alone will change America and will stop the violence. Anything else is simply a waste of time and money.

Should a Christian tithe on Net income or Gross income?

It's New Year's Resolution time (more realistically named 'The First Two Weeks of the New Year's Resolution Time, because they generally last about that long) and many people are looking at their financial situation wanting to make some changes.

One of the areas where I get questions as a pastor is about giving. The big frequently asked questions I get are:

1) How much should a Christian give?
2) Why does God want us to give?
3) Does it count if I tithe to an organization other than my church?
4) Should a Christian tithe on Net income or Gross income?

I'll attempt to answer these as best I can. What a person gives is between them and God. However, that being said, Scripture has made God's will for giving very clear, and while giving is between the individual and God, the individual needs to follow God's word in making these decisions.

1) How much should a Christian give?
In the Old Testament, the command is to tithe. A tithe is the first 10% of what you earn. Note that: the FIRST ten percent. This is very important to understand, because right now we live under a different system that will be addressed later. However, back to the question, the Old Testament command is to give 10% of what you earn to the Lord.

In the New Testament, there is not a clear command. Jesus makes a veiled reference to tithing in Matthew 23:23 and Luke 11:42 when He is criticizing the Pharisees, telling them to practice justice and mercy AS WELL AS tithing, but there is no specific amount commanded. Jesus doesn't tell His followers to give 10%. He isn't interested in a set amount. What His teachings are regarding money is that money is the main thing that will keep you from God. He teaches against greed and materialism and encourages generosity and giving to the point that it changes your lifestyle. Many people, after reading Jesus' teachings on money, prefer the easier 10% command of the Old Testament.

So, a Christian should give a minimum of 10% of his or her income to the church. Most Christians, however, don't even do this. The average Christian in America gives about 2.5% of his or her income to the church. This, interestingly enough, makes us more faithful to the teachings of Mohammed than of Jesus, because one of the Five Pillars of Islam is to give 2.5% of income to the poor.

2) Why does God want us to give?
There are several reasons God commands us to give. One very plain and simple reason is that it's all His and He can command us to do anything with it that He wants. The command to give reorients our view of money. We by default believe that our money is OURS, our houses are OURS, our cars are OURS, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are managers of God's property while we are alive. Then we die, and someone else takes over managing what we formerly managed. If it were ours, we could take it with us when we die. But we obviously can't.

I was sitting on my back porch one day looking out at my backyard, feeling pleased with this plot of land that I own and I call mine. All of a sudden, the Lord asked me, "How many people have 'owned' this piece of property since the beginning of creation?" I answered, "Probably a whole lot." And then it hit me. When I leave, someone else will 'own' it. Not really. Someone else will manage it, then someone else, then someone else. Nothing we have is ours. It's all God's.

Giving regularly is a statement of obedience to God. It is a statement of recognition of His sovereignty over our things and our money. A faithful Christian realizes that everything he or she has belongs to God, and giving to God is a recognition of His authority and His ownership. It is an expression of gratitude to God for His many blessings.

However, I don't like this question. The reason I don't like this question it is, quite frankly, the wrong question. A Christian never asks, "How much of my money does God want me to give?" Instead, the Christian asks, "How much of God's money do I get to keep for myself?"

When God commands us to tithe, He isn't taking our money. He is allowing us to keep 90% of HIS money. When you begin asking the right question, your entire focus on giving changes.

3) Does it count if I tithe to an organization other than my church?
I get this question a lot. There are lots of great organizations that do great Christian work, and Christians need to support them. However, it is my belief from Scripture that these are separate from the tithe.

In Deuteronomy 12:6, the writer draws a distinction between the "tithe" and "special gifts." The tithe was the first 10%. The special gift was over and above the tithe, according to what the person wanted to give. My interpretation of that is that the full tithe goes to the local church that you are a part of. The church is God's instrument to bring the gospel to the world, and if you are at a church that you don't feel comfortable tithing to, either start tithing or go join another church where you feel comfortable tithing to.

After the tithe has been given to the local church you attend, THEN special gifts can be given to parachurch organizations. My wife and I practice this. We fully tithe to the church I pastor. After that, we sponsor five orphan children, support missionaries, and support crisis pregnancy centers with our special gifts.

4) Should a Christian tithe on Net or Gross Income?
Gross.

And here is why.

The tithe is not only 10% of your income. It is also the FIRST 10% of your income. God set up the tithe as a recognition of His sovereignty and authority. Whoever gets the "first fruits" is who we recognize as God.

How are our paychecks set up right now? Who is set up to get the first fruits of our income? Answer: the government.

It hit me several years ago that if I tithe off of my net income, my after-tax income, I am making a statement that the government is God. Whoever gets the first part of my income is who I proclaim to be God. I am not willing to proclaim that the government is God.

The only way I proclaim God to be God is to tithe off of my gross income. That way, my giving is an outward sign that I believe God to be the supreme authority in my life, not the government. If I tithe off of my net income, I am acknowledging the sovereignty of the government in my life, with God coming later. I'm not willing to make that statement.

So, I will never, NEVER, tithe off of net income. As for me and my house, we will always tithe off of our gross income. Always.

Some practical thoughts on giving:
I love giving. I find more joy in giving than in receiving. So here are a few tips from someone who absolutely LOVES to give, both to the church and to people, to organizations, and to needs around the world:

-Giving can't be haphazard. Giving can't be about giving a few bucks here and there. Giving needs to be budgeted. You need to sit down and figure out your income, look at what the Lord commands, and go do it. In my house, we look at tithing and special gifts as we would our mortgage payment. We schedule our giving every month at a set amount, and we build that into our budget. If you don't do that, you will find it very hard to be faithful to this important command of our Lord Jesus.

-Giving makes your church experience far better. Where you invest your money is where you invest your heart. If you sacrifice each month to support your local church, you will find that Sunday mornings are more fun, more meaningful, and more positive. You will draw deeper meaning from your Christian faith and your church experience. Like the old saying goes, "You get out of it what you put into it."

-Giving is worship. Giving isn't a time in the service where we take a break from worship. Giving IS worship. In fact, it's the oldest form of worship. The first recorded worship in Scripture wasn't singing or preaching. It was the offering the Cain and Abel made to the Lord. All throughout Scripture, where you find worship, you find giving. Giving is an expression of love to God. Someone once said, "You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving." Giving is a natural expression of love to the object of our affection. Therefore, giving should flow naturally out of the believer to God.

-Giving is the largest area of disobedience in the church today. If 94% of church members committed murder, we'd do something about it. If 94% of church members committed adultery, we'd be up in arms. If 94% of church members stole each week, we'd have a conniption. However, when 94% of church members don't even fulfill the minimum amount of giving in the Old Testament, we think it's okay. Estimates are that only 6% of church members in America actually tithe. I can't think of any other area of the Christian life with that rate of disobedience. It's time for us to take the commands of Jesus and the commands of Scripture seriously.

-Giving should be joyful. I love to give. Giving isn't always easy, especially when finances are tight. I know this personally. I have a mortgage, three kids (one of whom is in college and one who will be going to college next year), sports to pay for, cars to pay for, bills to pay, savings, retirement, etc. I have all those things to consider. So do you. No one said it would be easy. However, it can always be joyful. When I face stressful months where an HVAC unit goes out unexpectedly and the kids need something new and all that, I can give joyfully because it's a statement of faith in God that He will provide. So we joyfully place our resources in God's hands with the belief that He will provide everything we need. Living that way produces a joy that you will never understand until you do it.

Thanks for reading. Be a joyful giver. Have fun with it. Generous people are always more joyful than stingy people. Be one of the people who starts being faithful to the commands of Scripture regarding giving this year. Then sit back and watch what the Lord does. I love giving. I hope you do too.

Why all the fuss about sexual harassment?

I became a father in 1999. My daughter Casey was born, and I became the father to a daughter.

Becoming a father changes your life immensely, but to me, becoming a father to a daughter was especially intense. I had never really been around females that much. Growing up, I only had one brother (no sisters) and there were eleven boys on my street. Not much in the way of being around females that much.

That all changed when my daughter was born. We were living in Alabama at the time, and my wife and I worked out at a Gold's Gym in town. I remember vividly one day walking into the gym, carrying my infant daughter on the way to the child care room. A music video was on the TVs, and the music was blasting throughout the gym. The song was, "The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang, and the chorus said, "

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(My first thought when I heard that song was, "I'll bet every high school guy in America wants to date that singer's daughter, because he wouldn't have any problem with her sleeping around. She ain't nothin' but a mammal, anyway." My second thought was, "I hope his daughter is better looking than he is.")

But I digress. Back to the topic.

Sexual harassment doesn't exist in the animal kingdom. 

I hunt deer. One of the things I've learned is that during the mating season, the male buck will pursue the female doe relentlessly. When he finds her, he basically has his way with her. He will physically lock her down, mate with her many times, then stay with her for a few days to fight off other bucks who would compete for "mating rights" with her.

Let's just say there doesn't seem to be much in it for the doe. She carries the unborn deer, gives birth, feeds and nurtures it, and the buck doesn't even call the next day. Shameful.

Why am I saying all this?

Well, I was thoroughly schooled in the secular concept of abiogenesis/evolution. I was taught, as many people are, in no uncertain terms that there is no God, that we are all evolved, that what is right and wrong is not universal but subjective to each individual, and that we are simply mammals. That's it. The notion that we were made in the image of God was mocked and scoffed at. The notion that God has laid down a moral law that cannot be changed or trifled with was scorned. 

So, I ask again, if that's the case, what is the big deal with all the sexual harassment charges these days?

Why do we have a different moral standard than that of a deer?

See, in the animal kingdom, when it comes to male/female relations, there is only one moral law- might makes right. The stronger prey upon the weaker. Might makes right. That's the way of things in the animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom, the greatest "good" that can happen is that you, the stronger, takes advantage of the weaker. That's what the bucks do. That's what ensures that their genes will be passed down to the next generation.

Why are humans different?

Why aren't men like Al Franken, John Conyers, Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, Bill O' Reilly, and others seen as moral? After all, these are powerful men. They were living out the morality of the animal kingdom- using their power and influence to prey upon the weaker. After all, we ain't nothin' but mammals, right?

Yet, these men are being criticized, fired, reputations ruined, facing justice, and are facing a massive backlash because they are being seen as IMMORAL. 

Viewing their actions as immoral must mean that there is a different moral standard expected of humans than that of other animals in the world. But where does this moral standard come from?

Hmmmm. Maybe these sex scandals have awakened Americans to the existence of God. There can be no law without a Lawgiver. Every law that exists has been spoken or written into existence by an intelligent being. Therefore, there must be an intelligence behind the moral standard that sets us apart from the animal kingdom.

We all know that the moral standard that exists in the animal kingdom, that "Might Makes Right" isn't right. We all know that it is wrong for a physically stronger man to have his way with a physically weaker woman against her consent. But, again I ask  . . . .  How? WHY is that wrong? More specifically, why is it right for a deer and wrong for a human? We ain't nothin' but mammals, right?

Without God, without a universal moral law that has been written onto human hearts, it wouldn't be wrong. It would simply be the moral standard that exists in the animal kingdom, and the male who could bed the greatest amount of females, ensuring the maximum amount of descendants, would be seen as the most moral.

The sexual harassment atom bomb that has blown up in Hollywood and Washington DC is truly amazing. If you will notice, no one is arguing from a moral relativism standpoint. No one is saying, "Well, we can't really criticize Matt Lauer, because sexually harassing women was right for him. Quit judging him." I don't hear anyone saying that. I also don't hear anyone making the Bloodhound Gang argument that Harvey Weinstein and the girls he raped/harrassed were simply mammals doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Nope. None of those arguments are being made right now.

The argument being made is that these actions are wrong. Badly wrong. Totally wrong. Because they most certainly are.

But in order for someone to say they are wrong, they must have an absolute moral standard showing what "right" is. Then, they must question WHERE that moral standard came from.

I was talking with an atheist friend about this. When I asked him this question, he thought for a minute, and said, "Centuries ago, humans got together and decided that men shouldn't do that, I guess."

I said, "That's it? So, people just kinda decided on a whim that they didn't want that happening in their communities, and that's where the standard came from."

He said, "Yeah, I guess."

I said, "So, if those humans had gotten together and decided the OPPOSITE, that it was perfectly fine for Kevin Spacey to sexually assault a teenager, that it was perfectly okay for Bill Clinton to take advantage of an intern in the Oval Office . . . .  if those humans had gotten together and decided that it was okay for a grown man to have his way with your daughter, you would be okay with it? After all, these humans centuries ago could have decided either way, right?"

He just looked at me. He didn't answer.

We all know the answer to that. We know that it wouldn't matter WHAT a tribe of ancient humans came up with- never would it be okay for a grown man to rape a child, even though that goes perfectly with the morality of "might makes right" in the animal kingdom. I would STILL not be okay with it, no matter what the law says. That's because there is a universal moral law written on all our hearts, telling us it is wrong.

That universal moral law wasn't decided upon in a committee and voted into existence. It was spoken into existence by God, the Lawgiver.

The presence of a law demands that there also be a Lawgiver. These sexual harassment suits have once again awakened America to objective moral standards, ones that are inherent to every human being. Without God, that wouldn't exist.

I guess the Bloodhound Gang was wrong. I guess we are more than just mammals. I guess we can't just do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Bill O'Reilly, John Conyers, Al Franken, and many others are finding that out the hard way. They are finding out that the law of the animal kingdom doesn't jive with the universal moral law of humans.

I have a wife and two daughters as well as two sons. I want my wife and daughters to be respected by the boys and men around them. I don't want them harassed, disrespected, viewed as objects to satisfy lust, or less than. I want my sons to treat women with respect. That's actually very odd . . . . in the animal kingdom.

A male buck doesn't care how the doe, or his children, are treated.

I believe that people are made in the image of God. I believe there is something sacred, something beautiful, something infinitely valuable in every human. To treat a person without respect is to malign the very God who created him or her. That's just not territory I want to move onto. I think I'll leave that alone.

No one taught me that. No one showed me that. I've known that since the day I was born.

None of that would exist without the universal moral law of God.

Just another way God shows us He is here.

What I Wish Christians (and People In General) Would Stop Doing

There are lots of toxic behaviors out there today. Gossip, drama, revenge, backstabbing, badmouthing, etc have been part of humanity since the beginning. All of those are bad, and I'm sure you can name many others.

However, I want to address one thing that rarely gets talked about, yet is the cause of the biggest frustration for me, one of the biggest discouragers for me, and one that I think needs to disappear if the Church is ever going to be healthy.

Are you ready? Here is is.

It's something I call "hiding."

Hiding looks like this: a person or family comes to your church. They return. You get to know them. You see them around town. You have them over for dinner. They have you over for dinner. You spend time together, praying together, studying the Bible together, your families get to know each other. You become friends.

Then, all of a sudden, they disappear. No phone call. No text.

You send them a message, saying, "Hey, we missed you!" No response.

They are there the next Sunday, but they are gone the next several.

You ask where they've been. You get a vague, "We were busy."

They miss next Sunday. You send a text. No response.

You call. They don't answer.

You may see them again, but most of the time you don't. And you have no idea why. Because they never said a word. They just walked away.

That's what "hiding" is.

There are many reasons for hiding. Sometimes a person is indulging in a sin, something they know is wrong, and they know you don't approve of, so they want to avoid seeing you as much as possible. Almost as if as long as they don't see you, they can still feel good about themselves. I've had church members disappear and "hide" from me when they relapse in addiction or move in with a girlfriend or boyfriend or have marriage trouble. That's kind of like a cancer patient hiding from the doctor, but it happens.

Other times people "hide" because you've done something to upset them but they don't want to tell you, so they hide from you.

Other times people "hide" because they feel guilty about something going on in their lives and they just walk away from anyone who isn't as miserable as they are.

In the mind of the person "hiding" it all makes perfect sense. However, if you are a "hider" and you have done this/are doing this to your church or family, let me tell you what you are actually doing. Let me show you the other side.

As a pastor, I truly care about the people in my church. I believe so strongly in being together in worship. I believe so strongly in relationships and friendships within the body of Christ. I love the people of my church.

When you disappear, don't answer texts, don't call, give vague excuses of where you've been . . . . .  it hurts. Yes. I'm being vulnerable here. It hurts deeply. Why? Because I consider you to be a friend. I'm not just a CEO of a corporation you shop at. I'm your friend. Your brother in Christ. Someone who really likes you.

When you "hide" because of whatever is going on, it hurts. It's a statement of what I mean to you. It's a statement that I was wrong about our friendship and that I was wrong to think that you cared as much about me as I cared about you.

Hiding from each other is what destroys true relationships and friendships in the church.

What happens when I invest myself in someone and they turn around and hide, it makes me very wary of forming other friendships. I wonder if it's worth it to go visit hospitals to pray for people in my church. "Why do this?" I ask myself. "They'll just be gone in a few years, they'll just disappear, I'll never know why, they'll just go."

I wonder if it's worth forming any kind of friendships at all as a pastor. Many pastors told me, when I got into the ministry, not to get close with anyone in my church because of this very thing. One pastor told me that it just wasn't worth the constant heartbreak of meeting people, forming friendships, and them walking away like you meant nothing. I can see how he would feel that way.

Christians, don't hide from each other.

Christians, don't hide from your pastors.

Don't hide physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, because hiding destroys friendships.

The Bible tells us to talk to one another as brothers and sisters. We aren't to walk away and leave another person wondering what is going on. We are to speak the truth in love to each other. We are to value the other person enough that we give them the respect of telling them actually what is going on.

Hiding is simply the most frustrating behavior I see in church members. It discourages friendships, it discourages the next attempt at friendship, and it hurts the other person. Hiding because you don't want to face the other person may make you feel okay in the short term, but it is hurting the other person who truly cares about you. They are wondering what they did wrong. And they are devastated to know that they care more about you than you care about them.

Of all the things that happen in a church, the one thing I wish would go away is hiding. It has caused me more heartache and pain and discouragement than anything else I've experienced in ministry.

Instead, let's treat each other as family. Let us love one another.

Here are some suggestions to consider:

1) If you are going to miss church on a Sunday, tell your pastor in advance. I love it when people inform me they will be out of town or they will be visiting someone else. I don't have to wonder if you are hiding.

2) If you haven't been to church in awhile and your pastor or someone from church sends you a message to ask where you've been, answer it. Be truthful.

3) If you find yourself wanting to hide from your church family because of a sin you are committing, choose your church family over your sin. It's either one or the other, right? Choose your church family, choose your faith, choose God. Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't worth your soul. Your addiction isn't worth your soul. Plus, you might find that your pastor and church friends are the most kind, caring, forgiving, accepting people on the planet. You may find that they actually love you and care about you.

4) If you are leaving the church, sit down with your pastor and tell him. Don't just disappear like so many do. Sit down and give him the respect of communicating with him. It may be uncomfortable, but you're doing the right thing. I would much rather have someone tell me what's going on than them leaving me to guess where they are. Believe it or not, pastors really miss you when you aren't there, and if they don't know why you are missing, it's incredibly frustrating and discouraging.

5) Become someone your pastor and your church can count on. There are many flighty, inconsistent people in churches nowadays. The Bible refers to such people as a "splintered reed that pierces the hand of anyone who leans on it." They look like they are there to help, but the second you count on them, they pierce your heart. Don't be that way. Be someone that can be trusted, that is consistent in attendance and prayer and fellowship. Be someone that can be counted on. People who can be counted on don't hide from one another.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. Maybe it's because no one talks about it. I hear lots of people complaining about church hypocrites. I hear lots of people complaining about judgmental people. I hear lots of people complaining about anger or hatred or gossip.

But I've never heard anyone address the issue of hiding from each other. It's subtle. It's evil. It's a church destroyer. I would suspect that your pastor would say this is the number one thing that drives him crazy as a pastor, yet it seems so subtle that he won't ever mention it. Well, I'm mentioning it. Maybe it's time that pastors and church members begin discussing the toxic issue of hiding and make a vow never to do it again.