Nice Attitude.

Attitude is essential.  It governs all things, decides all things, measures all things.  It will literally determine if you are joyful or sad, grateful or bitter, excited or depressed.  It will determine whether you are fun to be around or if you are to be avoided at all costs.  It will determine marital satisfaction, financial situation, relationship status, job satisfaction status, and just about everything else in life.

It will even determine your feelings towards God and the church.

If you follow these four steps, you will be amazed at how quickly your life will change- simply because you have changed your attitude.

Remember:  a bad attitude is like a flat tire.  You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Step 1:  Realize that you always see everything you WANT to see.
Jim went to church.  During the prelude, he heard the organist miss a note and he winced.  During the time where the congregation was supposed to kneel in prayer, he heard a teenager talking and he got his feathers ruffled.  During the offering, he thought he saw an usher checking out what he put in the plate, and it made his blood boil.  During the sermon, he heard the pastor make five grammatical mistakes.  As he was leaving, he said, "What a bunch of incompetent morons and hypocrites!  I'm never going there again!"

Don also went to church.  During the prelude, he was amazed at the majesty of the organist playing "A Mighty Fortress is Our God."  During the time of prayer, he heard a teenager sharing her testimony with an older woman sitting next to her.  He was pleased to see Christians giving sacrificially to meet community needs during the offering.  The sermon answered a question he had been asking for a long time.  As he left, he said, "How can someone come in here and not experience the power and majesty of God?"

The interesting part?  Both men attended the same church service.  Both saw exactly what they wanted to see.

How about you?  If you are looking for reasons that life is awful, you're certain to find them.  If you are looking for reasons to see that things are great, you will find them too.  Just realize that in life, you are seeing exactly what you want to see, and your attitude is allowing you to see things that are good or things that are awful.

Step 2:  Establish wide margins regarding toxic people.
Some people are toxic.  Sometimes you can get rid of them- you can unfriend them on Facebook, refuse to hang out with them, etc.  Other times, you can't get rid of them- you share the same house, office, school, etc with them.  If you can't get away from them, set up boundaries between you and them, allowing them little to no influence on you, because they will certainly kill your attitude.  The five types of toxic people (that I can identify in the Bible) are:

1)  The Perpetual Victim. This is the person whose actions have completely destroyed his or her life, and yet continues to blame everyone but himself.  He dates the wrong person, gets his heart broken, blames God (or others) and then next week does the same thing.  He spends money like a drunken sailor and then blames "the system" or "the man" for his poverty.  He never sees anything as his own fault and is constantly making excuses.  Establish wide boundaries around this kind of person, because his self-destruction is coming fast.

2)  The Ventilator.  This is the person who shows his annoyance at anything and everything.  He flies off the handle at the slightest thing.  He has no gravity, no maturity, and enjoys spouting his opinions; moving into belligerent territory when his opinion is crossed.  This person never stops to consider his words or his tone, and rarely if ever lets something go or drops the matter.  Drama doesn't just follow this person; it literally inhabits him.  Establish wide boundaries around this kind of person, because you will become like him if you don't.

3) The Black Hole. This is the person who has the ability to suck the life, joy, and happiness out of any person within a four-hundred yard radius.  They constantly point out what is wrong with each and every situation, focusing on the hopelessness of life.  They are needy, whiny, and overly dramatic people.  Eeyore looks cheerful compared to these people.  They tend to criticize anything that seems good, explaining how awful it probably is.  However, the worst thing that The Black Hole person does is to criticize dreams, visions, and goals of others, trying to defeat them before they start.  If you see this person coming towards you, run.

4) The Mocker/Scoffer.  Perhaps the most toxic of all people you will ever encounter is the Mocker/Scoffer.  This is a person who is incredibly insecure who tries to pass himself off as intelligent and bright by mocking others.  They scoff at anything they disagree with, descending into personal attacks on character.  They try to pass themselves off as experts, but in the end, all they do is destroy.  They are excellent at insults, gloating, making fun, and stabbing in the back.  If you have one of these people in your life, move as far away from them as you can, because they are perhaps the most toxic person of all.  They will literally kill your attitude.

5) The Busybody. This is the person with no concept of boundaries at all.  They see no difference between your business and their business, and they constantly involve themselves in things that are none of their concern.  These are the gossips of the town.  Interesting enough, these people are usually tired, exhausted, and stressed, because involving themselves in others' lives wears them out.  They are constantly finding out information and slanting it to make it the best story possible.  Always remember the golden rule of gossiping:  Whoever is gossiping TO you is also gossiping ABOUT you, so keep a wide boundary between you and them. 

Step 3.  Lose the entitlement mentality.
Nothing kills your attitude faster than the feeling that you aren't getting something you deserve.

I was in youth ministry many years ago, and a high school girl in our ministry came up to me to talk.

She said, "I'm not happy."  Big surprise.  This girl was NEVER happy.

She continued, "These are supposed to be the best years of my life, and I'm just miserable."

I asked her, "What are you doing to make these the best years of your life?"  She looked stunned.  She apparently thought that once you were in high school, people lined up to make your day for you.  I continued, "You're miserable because you think life owes you something.  News flash- life owes you NOTHING."

"You've been given an amazing gift called life.  You want these to be the best years of your life?  Go out and MAKE them the best years of your life.  Life doesn't owe you happiness.  Life isn't fair.  No one is concerned about your happiness or your fulfillment.  Those are up to you."

She was miserable because she thought she was owed something.  How many of us have bad attitudes because we think we are owed things in life?  We think our job should pay us more, and we aren't getting what we deserve.  We think our friends should call more, and we get upset at them when they don't.  We think that our spouse should buy us more things, or should do things like Mr Superhusband or Mrs Superwife down the street.

We need to lose the entitlement mentality.  It's killing our attitudes.

Step 4.  CHOOSE your attitude.
You are in control of your attitude.  No one else is.  If you want to see an example of a fantastic attitude, watch this short video about Patrick Hughes.  I challenge you to watch this and change your attitude towards life to be more like this amazing young man.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8

A bad attitude is like a flat tire- you can't go anywhere until you change it.

"You were taught, in regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."  Ephesians 4:22-24

Why We Need Martin Luther King Jr Now More Than Ever

Christians, listen to the words of one of my biggest heroes:

"There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society.

Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators."' But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated."

By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests.

Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church's silent--and often even vocal--sanction of things as they are."

(Martin Luther King, Letter from a Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963).

I think the church in America could learn a lesson from these prophetic words.   

How many of us do this?

I remember going to a "revival" meeting when I was a kid.  I actually liked it.  I remember hearing the evangelist give the gospel presentation, and after (as always), there was an invitation time.

Several people came forward to "accept Christ" (whatever that means) but that didn't seem to be enough for the evangelist.  He kept the music going, making call after call after call for more people to come forward.  A few more did each time he made the call, and each time, he made the call a little more dramatic, a little more intense, and even moved into the territory I would call begging.

That experience has stuck with me ever since.  I remember walking away from that thinking that God Himself was begging people to believe in Him, to follow Him, to be baptized and give our lives to Him.  From that standpoint, the next logical conclusion is that if God is begging, then we are doing God a huge favor by deciding to believe in Him and follow Him.

I think that is on the minds of many people today.

Many people, at least subconsciously, truly believe that they are doing God a favor by believing, being baptized, going to church, and calling themselves "Christian."  It's almost identical to the way we feel about businesses here- they advertise, practically begging us to come to their stores and buy their products, promising how much better our lives will be if we buy their product, and us feeling like we are doing the merchant a huge favor by giving them business (not to mention the expectation that the product will be exactly what we want it to be).

I think there will be some very surprised and sad people come judgement day, when people find out that quite the opposite is true.

Jesus never begged anyone to follow Him.  He challenged them.  Jesus practically dared people to follow Him.  He seemed to ask, "Do you have what it takes to follow Me?"  How often do you hear that in a church today?  When people walked away from Jesus, He never ran after them.  He never allowed people to think that they were doing God a favor by following Him.

Quite the opposite- Jesus taught that it was the mercy of God, the undeserved mercy and grace of God, that was the favor. 

People, you aren't doing God a favor by deciding to believe in Him.  You aren't doing God a favor by showing up to church on Sunday.  God isn't desperate; God isn't begging; God isn't needy.  On the contrary, God is telling you, "Do you have what it takes to follow Me?  If you don't, I'm not going to beg you.  I'm not going to threaten or cajole or promise or bargain.  You come to Me on My terms in My way in My time.  You accept My grace and you do things My way.  After all, I'm God. Now, if this sounds good to you, come follow Me.  If not, you're free to go your own way."

Does God love us?  Absolutely. 

Does God forgive us?  Yes.

Does God beg us?  No.

Somewhere in American evangelicalism, we got it into our minds that God wants us in heaven so badly that He will do anything just to get us there.  Therefore, God is okay with lukewarm commitment and half-hearted prayers, spotty church attendance and disregard of giving.  He's perfectly okay with our disobedience of the Great Commission and the prevalence of gossip and factions in the church.  He's perfectly okay when we accept what the world says about social issues instead of the Word of God (after all, He's just happy that we're going to heaven, right?). 

These are the actions of a church that believes it is doing God a favor simply by believing in Him instead of a church that is in awe of His supreme character, mercy and power.

How many of us do this?  How many of us truly believe that God is like a homely schoolgirl begging for some boy, any boy, to take her to the prom?  And when some boy decides to lower himself to take her out, she is just so happy that someone pays attention to her that it doesn't matter who it is or how she is treated?

For Christians who act this way, there are dark days ahead for you.  Don't make this mistake.  God is the God of the universe, the Supreme Being in all creation, the one who holds this entire universe together.  He created the world by the command of His mouth, His word is eternal and His will is supreme.  His authority is unquestioned and His truth will prevail.  He loves with a perfect love, forgives with a perfect forgiveness, and punishes with perfect power.  His love, AND His wrath, are both things to be reckoned with.

God doesn't beg us.  He challenges us.  He isn't begging you to believe in Him.  He's asking you, "Do you have what it takes to follow Me?"

Why I didn't watch news stories about the Boston Marathon bombings

2:50 pm- cable news, facebook, and the internet lit up with stories about the Boston Marathon bombing.  All last night they ran stories about the incident.

I turned off the TV. 

It's not that I don't care.  Anytime there is something like this, I feel so strongly for the victims and their families, and I mourn the that the evil in this world rears its ugly head over and over again. 

It's just that I'm tired.  I'm tired of stories like this.  And that scares me.

I think the thing that scared me the most was my initial reaction to the news.  It wasn't horror.  It wasn't even shock.  I literally said, "Here we go again."  And that shook me to my core.  How can an act of evil like this make me say little more than "ho hum?"  Has all empathy, caring, shock at evil things, been totally pushed out of my life?  Have I become so desensitized to violence like this that I have come to accept it as normal?

I think so.  And that's not a good thing.

When speaking of the last days- the end times- Jesus said in Matthew 24:12, "Because of the increase in wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." 

I think I am seeing my love grow cold.  And I'm not okay with it.  The Bible calls me to stand firm to the end.  I think this is the call of God in this day and age to His church- continue to stand firm.  Do not accept these things as okay or normal.  Don't let your love grow cold or allow your hearts to harden.  That is happening to people all around us. 

People are growing cynical, critical, and harsh with each other.  People are trusting less and less, loving less and less, empathizing less and less.  It's not so much the cruelty; it's the indifference.  The indifference that people show now to anything and everything.  It's like the joy of living is being sucked dry from humanity. 

Things like this bombing cause far more than destruction and loss of life.  They cause indifference.  They cause love to grow cold, trust to fade, joy to diminish, and peace to leave.  When these things are gone, they are replaced by bitterness, cynicism, indifference, worry, and stress.

This is not how I choose to live my life.

I also turned off the TV because I'm tired of the commentary.  I'm tired of hearing from the talking heads spouting their latest man-made theories and solutions.  I didn't want to see the latest trendiest atheist on screen blathering at the mouth over things like this disproving the existence of God, nor did I want to see the Westboro psychos promising a protest of the funerals, nor did I want to hear from politicians about the need for increased surveillance and registries and more laws.

Do you know why I didn't want to hear it?

Because not one of them, not one of them, would try to solve the real problem.  The real problem is that there is evil in the world.  There is evil in the world, and no one wants to admit it.  No one wants to accept it.  No one wants to deal with it.

We actually think we can legislate evil out of the hearts of people. 

We think we can actually pass the right law, or monitor enough people, or deny people access to enough things, that we won't see things like this anymore. 

The problem is that there is no fear of God in the people that commit these kinds of atrocities.  People who have the fear of God within them don't destroy His creation.  They don't kill His children.  They don't wish evil upon those He loves.  But no politician or TV news anchor will ever say this.

We will keep hearing man-made solutions that don't work.  We will keep hearing more and more prattle about the need for laws and policies and regulations, because in the secular mind, that's all there is.  There will be no talk of repentance and turning to God, and in turn allowing Him to heal our land (2 Chronicles 7:14).  We're willing to do everything except what will solve the problem.

That's why I turned off the TV.  I'm so sick of people solving the wrong problem. 

With the TV off and with my commitment to not follow this news story anymore, I now turn to the problem within me of my love growing cold.  I will not allow it to happen.  I will be one of the ones that stands firm to the end.  I invite you to join me.

Why we shouldn't use new music in worship services

“A prominent American pastor compiled this list of complaints regarding new music in the church:

1. It’s too new, like an unknown language.

2. It’s not so melodious as the more established style.

3. There are so many new songs that it is impossible to learn them all.

4. This new music creates disturbances and causes people to act in an indecent and disorderly manner.

5. It places too much emphasis on instrumental music rather than on godly lyrics.

6. The lyrics are often worldly, even blasphemous.

7. It is not needed, since preceding generations have go to heaven without it.

8. It is a contrivance to get money.

9. It monopolizes the Christians’ time and encourages them to stay out late.

10. These new musicians are young upstarts, and some of them are lewd and loose persons.” (page 51 of Messy Church David C. Cook publishing)

The only problem is that this was written in 1723, regarding the use of hymns and the scandalous new instrument that previously had only been used in bars:  the pipe organ.

Parents Beware: You could be creating another Kim Jung Un

All over the news is the the story of the unstable North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un, who is the son of the unstable Kim Jung Il.  He's threatening nuclear war with the United States and just about everyone else.  The question is- why, and what does this have to do with parents in America?

A little history:  North Korea is a fourth or fifth-world country.  They are poor, desolate, and isolated from the rest of the world.  North Korean jet pilots average nine hours of flight time per year because they can't afford fuel for their planes.  The people of North Korea are viciously repressed and are starving.

Kim Jung Un grew up watching his father govern.  His father, every few years or so, would threaten the world.  He would launch a missile, conduct military exercises, threaten to nuke someone, and then the United Nations or a country like America would swoop in and promise them all kinds of concessions- food, fuel, trade benefits, etc- for them to back down.

Basically, what this did was reinforce the actions of a bully.  Instead of gaining peace, all we did was encourage the bad behavior by rewarding him.  That's the way humans learn.  We repeat behaviors that we are rewarded for and extinguish behaviors that we are punished for.  Basic human nature 101.

Kim Jung Un, because of what we have rewarded in the North Korean dictatorship, is doing just that.  He has astutely learned that military threats and bravado equal money, fuel, and gifts from other countries.  Why would he ever stop doing this?  He has watched this process his entire life.  He has learned his lesson well.

American parents- are you creating a Kim Jung Un in your house?

When your children throw fits, do you give them things to quiet them down?  Guess what- they are learning their lesson VERY well.  A tantrum= I get what I want.  Parents, when your child performs poorly in school, do you blame the school?  Your child is learning the lesson very well.  Poor performance in school= mom blaming the school, and I'm off the hook.  Parents, do you swoop in to defend your child every time he or she behaves badly in public?  You are creating another Kim Jung Un.

It's simply human nature.  You may be, in an attempt to keep the peace, actually making things worse by rewarding the very thing you want to stop.  Remember, humans ALWAYS repeat behaviors they are rewarded for.  What are you rewarding?

When your child behaves badly, make no excuses for him.  Do not reward him.  Do not take the easy road in trading a moment's peace for a lifetime of terrible character.

Your actions in dealing with your child's bad behavior will shape his or her character for the rest of his or her life.  Sit back and ask yourself, "What am I teaching my child about this behavior?"  Believe me, your children are watching to see what lesson will be taught whenever they misbehave.

Do not be like the nations that swooped in and rewarded North Korea's saber-rattling and warmongering.  That's the reason we are being threatened with nuclear war right now- North Korea, like a badly-behaved child, learned the lesson we taught them VERY well.  By consistently rewarding their behavior, they have now come to expect the rewards.  They have associated saber-rattling with good things.  They have learned, through our rewarding, that they can extort money from the world by threatening war.

So have your children.  They have learned that they can "extort" things from you, the parent, by behaving badly.  The child in the grocery store throwing the tantrum has learned that the tantrum will extort a sucker or candy bar from the parent.  The teenager who is a disrespectful pain in the butt to every adult he or she speaks to has learned that there are absolutely no consequences for disrespect- in fact, they have learned that they are actually empowered when they are disrespectful.  They have learned that they can walk all over adults and no one will ever say anything.  In fact, when they try to walk over all the adults in the classroom or in the school, and they get punished for it, their little mommies and daddies will swoop in, cuss out the principal, call a special session of the school board, demand an apology to their "perfect little angel," and sue the school for harming their child's tender little personality.  All the while, the kid is encouraged to disrespect, because they are in fact being rewarded for it.

Parents, today, take a look at what you are actually rewarding.  Are you rewarding laziness by doing your kids' chores for them?  Are you rewarding disrespect?  Are your children feeling any consequences whatsoever for their behavior?  Believe me, they are learning the lessons you are teaching.  The problem is- you might be teaching the wrong lessons.

Kim Jong Un learned his lessons from the world very well.  Now we have to deal with the consequences of what we taught him.

Parents, stop teaching the wrong lessons to your kids before the world has to deal with the consequences of what YOU taught them.

"He was in the game."

Someone asked me the other day, "What do you want to be said at your funeral?"

That's a good question.  I had never really thought about that question before.  Oh sure, I've heard about it, and I've been to a lot of funerals and heard many great things, but I hadn't really thought about it before then.

I thought about the various things people could say:  "He was a good guy."  Nope- definitely don't want that being said.  "He was a good father."  Not bad.  "He was a good husband."  Again, not bad.  "He was a good pastor."  We know THAT one wouldn't be said by anyone with honesty. 

So, what would I want to be said?

It all came down to one statement that sums up what I want my life to be all about:  He was in the game.

He was in the game.

What game?

It doesn't matter.  Whatever he was doing, he was in the game, making it happen.  He wasn't sitting on the sidelines, hoping that somehow it happened.

In marriage, he was in the game.  He wasn't sitting there hoping that love somehow magically happened.  He made it happen.  He was proactive.  He didn't sit around settling for average.  He was in the game.  He opened the doors for his wife.  He invested intentionally in things that made the marriage better.  His wife knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was committed to her for life, come hell or high water, and he would be faithful as long as they both shall live.

In fatherhood, he was in the game.  He wasn't sitting around, content to let someone else teach his kids how to read.  He taught them himself.  He wasn't going to hope that they would be successful- he set them up for success by intentionally investing in things that matter.  He taught them a work ethic.  He didn't hope that somehow by luck they'd figure it out.  No, he was in the game.  He was involved, invested, and intentional.  He wasn't going to let someone else figure out life for his kids.  He set them up for success by being in the game.

In ministry, he was in the game.  He didn't sit around hoping that the Great Commission would be accomplished or that God's word would somehow magically get out to the people.  He dedicated his life to making God and His glory known to as many people as he possibly could.

Whatever he did, he was in the game.  Financially, he set up his family for success by making wise choices with money, ensuring stability by good money management.  Friends always knew he loved them.  People always knew where they stood with him- he could always be counted on to tell the truth whether it was pretty or painful.  He was never content to let someone else do his job.

He was in the game.

Now, the hard part is living in such a way that that is exactly what is said at my funeral.  The problem is, and every athlete will tell you this, it's much safer on the bench.  You never get hit or fouled or hurt while sitting on the bench.  However, it's also no fun, and you accomplish nothing unless you are in the game getting hit, taking shots, taking initiative, and making it happen.  Many people will choose the safety and boredom of the bench, content to simply let life happen and hope that things turn out well.  I choose not to do that.

I choose to be in the game, taking life at full throttle and making no apologies for living life to the fullest.  In athletics, I hate the bench.  In life, I hate it even more. 

Jesus was the same way.  The people that killed Him, to their credit, never accused Him of being boring.  Quite the opposite- they saw Him as too dangerous, too radical, and too "in the game" for it to be safe having Him around.  When Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full,"(John 10:10)  He meant it.

At the end of my life, which may be today, or tomorrow, or seventy years from now, my greatest regrets will not be the things I had done.  Rather, my greatest regrets will be those haunting words, "What might have been," had I had the guts to do it.

For all of you who fall along the same lines- who want the words, "He/She was in the game," said at your funeral, go for it.  Get in the game.  Fathers, get in the game with your kids.  Be active.  Be proactive.  Don't let someone else teach your kids- YOU teach them.  Don't sit around hoping your kids figure life out- show them.  Mothers, get in the game with your kids.  Spouses, get in the game in your marriage.  Make it happen.  You are the ones that determine how wonderful or terrible your marriage is.  Get in the game.

Christians, get in the game.  We have work to do.  There is a world that desperately needs the gospel, and we're the ones God has chosen to communicate it.  Get off the bench and get in the game.  There are prayers that need to be prayed, Bibles that need to be read, people who need to be loved, churches that need to be served, pastors that need your support, missionaries that need your presence and prayers, unbelievers that need the gospel, orphans that need families, widows that need care, people that need food, water, and medical care, and discouraged people that need encouragement.  We're the ones to do it.

Whatever you do, make sure that "He stayed on the bench where it was safe and secure" be the only thing said at your funeral.

Get in the game.