"I've been burned by the church."
This sentiment is everywhere, and for good reason. There ARE people who have been "burned" by the church, including me. As a pastor, especially as a former youth minister, I have experienced more pain and heartache and insults and meanness at the hands of church people than I ever have by non-Christians.
Seems like every week there is a new diatribe against the church, how the church judged them, let them down, was too hypocritical, etc. Yes, we've all read them.
However, there is one truth that is not being told, and I'd actually respect someone for saying it. It's a truth that all of us pastors, and most Christians in general, have experienced, yet no one ever says it out loud.
It is the other side of the coin. Just for once, I'd like someone to be honest and admit it publicly.
"I treated the church like crap."
Just for once, I'd like for someone to write an article saying the following,
"I'm the reason I left the church.
I really liked church, but I felt really uncomfortable both going to church and living with my girlfriend (or I liked my porn, or liked my drugs, or whatever your sin of choice was). So I chose my sin. I quit going to church, not because the church "burned" me, but because I prefer my sin over God.
Then I started treating the church like crap. I didn't tell them I was leaving; I just quit showing up. When people from church, who were my friends, called and texted wondering where I was, I didn't respond. See, if I had responded, then I wouldn't be able to say that "no one cared that I left." Then I started bad-mouthing them (even though they had never been mean to me, of course). I told all my friends that I had left that church because it was "judgmental." Then, to justify myself further, I began to point out all the sins of the people who went to that church. Now, these were people who had never been anything but nice to me, mind you, but that didn't matter. Church is an easy target, and there is always an audience ready and willing to hear anything awful about a church.
Yes, I treated the church like crap.
Yes, I'm mean and judgmental.
Yes, I'm everything I accused the church of being. Yes, I'm actually being honest.
I avoid people that I used to go to church with, because I don't want to see them. They always make me feel guilty. No, that's not right. They don't say or do anything, actually. It's ME that feels guilty when I see them. They remind me that what I'm doing is wrong. And I hate that. Therefore I hate them.
See, the problem is me. They're not doing anything. However, if I can blame them, I can avoid looking at my own life. If I can make the church the scapegoat for all my guilty feelings, all the things I'm doing wrong, and my rejection of God and His ways, then I can avoid having to deal with the sin in my life.
That's why I bash the church. If I'm being honest, I just don't want to deal with the mess that my life is now. The church is like a mirror that makes me look at my true state. And therefore I hate it. I hate it with a passion. But all my hate is my own problem; my own embarrassment, and my own guilt.
Hello, my name is ___________, and I am a church-basher. I treat the church like crap. I insult it, malign it, judge it, and lie about it. I treat people in church like crap. I avoid them. I'm rude to them. I purposefully point out their sins, even though they've done nothing like that to me."
Alas, we'll never hear that side of the church situation. We'll never hear people admit that the problem might be within themselves. We'll just keep talking about how the church is "burning" people, how awful church people are, how terrible they treat people, yada yada yada. I, for one, would just like to hear from one person, just one person, who will admit that THEY are the reason. They treated the church like crap, and the church didn't deserve it.
Like I said before, I'd actually respect someone who was honest enough to admit this. It happens all the time. Yet, I've never actually known someone honest enough to come right out and say it.
This sentiment is everywhere, and for good reason. There ARE people who have been "burned" by the church, including me. As a pastor, especially as a former youth minister, I have experienced more pain and heartache and insults and meanness at the hands of church people than I ever have by non-Christians.
Seems like every week there is a new diatribe against the church, how the church judged them, let them down, was too hypocritical, etc. Yes, we've all read them.
However, there is one truth that is not being told, and I'd actually respect someone for saying it. It's a truth that all of us pastors, and most Christians in general, have experienced, yet no one ever says it out loud.
It is the other side of the coin. Just for once, I'd like someone to be honest and admit it publicly.
"I treated the church like crap."
Just for once, I'd like for someone to write an article saying the following,
"I'm the reason I left the church.
I really liked church, but I felt really uncomfortable both going to church and living with my girlfriend (or I liked my porn, or liked my drugs, or whatever your sin of choice was). So I chose my sin. I quit going to church, not because the church "burned" me, but because I prefer my sin over God.
Then I started treating the church like crap. I didn't tell them I was leaving; I just quit showing up. When people from church, who were my friends, called and texted wondering where I was, I didn't respond. See, if I had responded, then I wouldn't be able to say that "no one cared that I left." Then I started bad-mouthing them (even though they had never been mean to me, of course). I told all my friends that I had left that church because it was "judgmental." Then, to justify myself further, I began to point out all the sins of the people who went to that church. Now, these were people who had never been anything but nice to me, mind you, but that didn't matter. Church is an easy target, and there is always an audience ready and willing to hear anything awful about a church.
Yes, I treated the church like crap.
Yes, I'm mean and judgmental.
Yes, I'm everything I accused the church of being. Yes, I'm actually being honest.
I avoid people that I used to go to church with, because I don't want to see them. They always make me feel guilty. No, that's not right. They don't say or do anything, actually. It's ME that feels guilty when I see them. They remind me that what I'm doing is wrong. And I hate that. Therefore I hate them.
See, the problem is me. They're not doing anything. However, if I can blame them, I can avoid looking at my own life. If I can make the church the scapegoat for all my guilty feelings, all the things I'm doing wrong, and my rejection of God and His ways, then I can avoid having to deal with the sin in my life.
That's why I bash the church. If I'm being honest, I just don't want to deal with the mess that my life is now. The church is like a mirror that makes me look at my true state. And therefore I hate it. I hate it with a passion. But all my hate is my own problem; my own embarrassment, and my own guilt.
Hello, my name is ___________, and I am a church-basher. I treat the church like crap. I insult it, malign it, judge it, and lie about it. I treat people in church like crap. I avoid them. I'm rude to them. I purposefully point out their sins, even though they've done nothing like that to me."
Alas, we'll never hear that side of the church situation. We'll never hear people admit that the problem might be within themselves. We'll just keep talking about how the church is "burning" people, how awful church people are, how terrible they treat people, yada yada yada. I, for one, would just like to hear from one person, just one person, who will admit that THEY are the reason. They treated the church like crap, and the church didn't deserve it.
Like I said before, I'd actually respect someone who was honest enough to admit this. It happens all the time. Yet, I've never actually known someone honest enough to come right out and say it.
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