My family was expecting me for Thanksgiving Day.
My wife had spent all morning fixing and cooking the turkey. My daughters had fixed the cornbread dressing. My mom and dad had fixed this amazing sweet potato pie. My brother's family had fixed all kinds of awesome desserts, and we were all planning on eating at lunchtime.
We do that every year. We know what time Thanksgiving meal at the Kibler's house is.
Lunchtime rolled around. I wasn't there.
My cell phone rang. It was my wife. "Where are you?" she asked.
"Oh, I was busy," I said. "This has been a pretty stressful week. But, don't worry about me- I stopped at a deli and had turkey by myself. I'm good."
The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. "What do you mean?" she demanded.
"Well," I said, starting to get a lecture-type tone in my voice, "I don't really feel the need to eat Thanksgiving dinner with the family. The point of Thanksgiving is eating the turkey anyway. I can do that by myself. I can still be an American and give thanks and eat turkey without coming and being part of the family."
"Plus," I went on, "family gatherings bother me. There are some relatives I don't like. I don't always like everything on the table, either. Sometimes the turkey is too hot, or the desserts are too cold. But, don't worry about me! I ate turkey today, so I'm good!"
My wife was silent. "I can't believe I'm hearing this," she said. "That was quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life."
"Now you're judging me," I said. "Listen, I don't need a family dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving. I ate turkey, okay? I'm good to go. It's not like I didn't eat turkey on Thanksgiving. I think that's good enough!"
"Listen," my wife said, anger rising in her voice. "Do you think the purpose of Thanksgiving is just to eat turkey?"
"Well," I said, "that's what we do, isn't it?"
"Yes," she said. "That's PART of what we do. But that's not ALL we do. We laugh. We spend time together as a family. We celebrate together. We eat together. We sit back and enjoy each other. The turkey is really only about 10% of what goes on at Thanksgiving dinner. And now, you've missed it. You've shown us exactly what you think of the rest of us- you've shown us that as long as you're eating turkey, the rest of it doesn't matter."
I hope you know that this story isn't true. I have never missed a Thanksgiving day dinner with my family.
But on the other hand, it IS true.
Too many times than I care to mention, when someone misses church and I call them up to ask how they are and if they are okay, they will tell me, "Yeah, I know I wasn't there. But I spent Sunday morning studying the Bible."
That's like telling a family that you know you weren't there for Thanksgiving dinner, but you spent the day eating turkey.
The point of Thanksgiving dinner isn't the food you eat. Well, yes it is, to some extent, but it's not the point. Eating a meal TOGETHER is the point of Thanksgiving dinner. The same is true of church- it is worshiping God TOGETHER that is the point of the Christian life. So many of us miss that. So many of us think that the end-all-be-all of the Christian faith is the personal study time, and as long as you have that, you're good.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
God intended Christianity to be celebrated together. We are to be the church, not individuals eating turkey on the last Thursday in November. We are to experience our faith together, grow together, interact together. That is the purpose. That is God's plan.
Plus, I would imagine that you would horrendously insult the rest of the family if you told them you weren't showing up for the family meal but were eating by yourself.
Why? Because your family LOVES you. They want you there. They don't particularly care about what you eat. They care about YOU. And to purposefully skip the family meal is an insult. It damages relationships and leaves the rest of the family wondering how much they really matter to you.
Same is true of church.
Some of us may have inadvertently been hurting the people that care about you. Yes, it's possible to hurt your church family.
Resist the temptation to individualize the Christian faith. It is meant to be lived out collectively. Enjoy the faith with your church family. Don't tell them, "That's okay- I ate turkey by myself today. I'm good."
My wife had spent all morning fixing and cooking the turkey. My daughters had fixed the cornbread dressing. My mom and dad had fixed this amazing sweet potato pie. My brother's family had fixed all kinds of awesome desserts, and we were all planning on eating at lunchtime.
We do that every year. We know what time Thanksgiving meal at the Kibler's house is.
Lunchtime rolled around. I wasn't there.
My cell phone rang. It was my wife. "Where are you?" she asked.
"Oh, I was busy," I said. "This has been a pretty stressful week. But, don't worry about me- I stopped at a deli and had turkey by myself. I'm good."
The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. "What do you mean?" she demanded.
"Well," I said, starting to get a lecture-type tone in my voice, "I don't really feel the need to eat Thanksgiving dinner with the family. The point of Thanksgiving is eating the turkey anyway. I can do that by myself. I can still be an American and give thanks and eat turkey without coming and being part of the family."
"Plus," I went on, "family gatherings bother me. There are some relatives I don't like. I don't always like everything on the table, either. Sometimes the turkey is too hot, or the desserts are too cold. But, don't worry about me! I ate turkey today, so I'm good!"
My wife was silent. "I can't believe I'm hearing this," she said. "That was quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life."
"Now you're judging me," I said. "Listen, I don't need a family dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving. I ate turkey, okay? I'm good to go. It's not like I didn't eat turkey on Thanksgiving. I think that's good enough!"
"Listen," my wife said, anger rising in her voice. "Do you think the purpose of Thanksgiving is just to eat turkey?"
"Well," I said, "that's what we do, isn't it?"
"Yes," she said. "That's PART of what we do. But that's not ALL we do. We laugh. We spend time together as a family. We celebrate together. We eat together. We sit back and enjoy each other. The turkey is really only about 10% of what goes on at Thanksgiving dinner. And now, you've missed it. You've shown us exactly what you think of the rest of us- you've shown us that as long as you're eating turkey, the rest of it doesn't matter."
I hope you know that this story isn't true. I have never missed a Thanksgiving day dinner with my family.
But on the other hand, it IS true.
Too many times than I care to mention, when someone misses church and I call them up to ask how they are and if they are okay, they will tell me, "Yeah, I know I wasn't there. But I spent Sunday morning studying the Bible."
That's like telling a family that you know you weren't there for Thanksgiving dinner, but you spent the day eating turkey.
The point of Thanksgiving dinner isn't the food you eat. Well, yes it is, to some extent, but it's not the point. Eating a meal TOGETHER is the point of Thanksgiving dinner. The same is true of church- it is worshiping God TOGETHER that is the point of the Christian life. So many of us miss that. So many of us think that the end-all-be-all of the Christian faith is the personal study time, and as long as you have that, you're good.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
God intended Christianity to be celebrated together. We are to be the church, not individuals eating turkey on the last Thursday in November. We are to experience our faith together, grow together, interact together. That is the purpose. That is God's plan.
Plus, I would imagine that you would horrendously insult the rest of the family if you told them you weren't showing up for the family meal but were eating by yourself.
Why? Because your family LOVES you. They want you there. They don't particularly care about what you eat. They care about YOU. And to purposefully skip the family meal is an insult. It damages relationships and leaves the rest of the family wondering how much they really matter to you.
Same is true of church.
Some of us may have inadvertently been hurting the people that care about you. Yes, it's possible to hurt your church family.
Resist the temptation to individualize the Christian faith. It is meant to be lived out collectively. Enjoy the faith with your church family. Don't tell them, "That's okay- I ate turkey by myself today. I'm good."
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