Dear Ethan Couch,
I read on the news that you and a bunch of buddies had stolen some beer from a Wal-Mart a few months ago. Three hours later, you plowed into a car on the side of the road, killing four people and seriously injuring two of your friends. Your blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit.
I don't know what it's like to be responsible for the deaths of four people, especially at age 16. You may be thinking a lot about it, or you may not be thinking much about it at all.
Your attorney said you were the victim of "affluenza"- which basically means that you have been given anything and everything you want from the time you were knee-high to a grasshopper. You've never known want, you've never worked for anything in your life, you've never had to care about anyone other than yourself, and you've never had to sacrifice for anything.
This, undoubtedly, led you to some major character defects. You're probably arrogant beyond imagine, probably incredibly narcisstic, take lots of selfies, very busy on Instagram, and your life is probably one of constant entertainment- newest iPhone, newest iPad, three video game systems, surround-sound stereo, plasma-screen tv in your room, and just about anything else that you would possibly want.
I'm not mad at you. The only difference between you and me is that when I drove drunk at age 16, I didn't kill anyone. I could have, but for some reason, I didn't.
I, too, grew up in affluence. My dad is an orthopedic surgeon. Our dads probably made similar amounts of money, and I would imagine that their social circles were very similar. I, too, was a white suburban kid who grew up around other white suburban kids who had more opportunity and more wealth than most people would ever dream of having. Our economic and social backgrounds are almost identical.
However, there was one major difference. My mom and dad.
My mom and dad didn't spoil me.
My parents, while not embarrassed of the wealth that their hard work and toil achieved, never flaunted it. They didn't think that people should have everything they wanted. They especially didn't think that their children should have everything they wanted.
I heard the word "no" more than any other word during my eighteen years in their household.
My parents made it clear that I was going to succeed or fail based on my efforts and my efforts alone. The day I got suspended for going out to McDonalds (and getting caught by the principal), my parents refused to go to the school to argue in my defense. Their attitude was, "Well, I guess you shouldn't have skipped school. I guess you'll be paying for it," and backed up their words by grounding me for two weeks AFTER getting suspended from school for three days. Therefore, I learned there was no one on my side when I intentionally broke the rules.
My parents wouldn't go to the school to argue with a teacher if I got a bad grade. Instead, they stood over me and watched me do my homework, making sure I did it fully and correctly. They didn't allow me to get away with sloppy, half-hearted work, and therefore, I learned responsibility.
My parents spanked me when I lied. Therefore I learned honesty.
My parents walked in integrity and honesty in front of me. Therefore I learned to respect authority.
My parents never followed the crowd or gave in to the path of least resistance. Therefore I learned autonomy and independence.
What I am saying, Ethan, is that you were set up to fail. I don't blame you. I blame the current crop of parents who would rather their kids be "happy" than be "good."
I blame the current societal trend of basing the entire household's agenda, schedule, and life around the kids, therefore training them to think they are the center of the universe.
I blame your negligent and child-abusing parents (yes, I said child-abusing, and I'll say it again) who didn't love you enough to build any character in you whatsoever. They created you- a monster. A narcissistic, self-centered, egomaniac who has gone through life never being accountable for anything.
I am sorry for you.
I am sorry that you are responsible for the deaths of four innocent people because of a stupid mistake you made.
I am sorry that you didn't get jail time, because that's exactly what you need. Note that I didn't say "deserve." I said "need." You need desperately to be held accountable for your actions, for once in your life. You need to know that real people get hurt when you are self-centered and think you are above it all.
I am sorry for your future spouse- I cannot imagine the hell you will put her through thinking that you are above every rule, never will be held accountable, and can always do everything you please.
I am sorry for your future children, who will have a self-centered father who could care less about anything other than getting what he wants.
Most of all, I am sorry for you. Growing up without any character, being handed the world on a silver platter, is a terrible way to live. You have never known the joy of struggle- struggling to overcome an obstacle and achieving a victory. You've never known the empathy that develops within you when you have experienced incredible pain and hardship. You've never known the joy that comes with generosity and sacrifice, nor have you ever known the satisfaction that exists when you put others' needs in front of your own.
So, I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry for you.
This world- your parents, the school you attend, and the legal system have all conspired to create the monster that you are. Let's hope that you are able to overcome the way they have set you up to fail in life. Let's hope that you are able to gain some perspective and develop some true character so that you will no longer be the victim of "affluenza."
Sincerely,
David Kibler
Former potential victim of affluenza miraculously saved from it by his mean, heartless, strict parents
I read on the news that you and a bunch of buddies had stolen some beer from a Wal-Mart a few months ago. Three hours later, you plowed into a car on the side of the road, killing four people and seriously injuring two of your friends. Your blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit.
I don't know what it's like to be responsible for the deaths of four people, especially at age 16. You may be thinking a lot about it, or you may not be thinking much about it at all.
Your attorney said you were the victim of "affluenza"- which basically means that you have been given anything and everything you want from the time you were knee-high to a grasshopper. You've never known want, you've never worked for anything in your life, you've never had to care about anyone other than yourself, and you've never had to sacrifice for anything.
This, undoubtedly, led you to some major character defects. You're probably arrogant beyond imagine, probably incredibly narcisstic, take lots of selfies, very busy on Instagram, and your life is probably one of constant entertainment- newest iPhone, newest iPad, three video game systems, surround-sound stereo, plasma-screen tv in your room, and just about anything else that you would possibly want.
I'm not mad at you. The only difference between you and me is that when I drove drunk at age 16, I didn't kill anyone. I could have, but for some reason, I didn't.
I, too, grew up in affluence. My dad is an orthopedic surgeon. Our dads probably made similar amounts of money, and I would imagine that their social circles were very similar. I, too, was a white suburban kid who grew up around other white suburban kids who had more opportunity and more wealth than most people would ever dream of having. Our economic and social backgrounds are almost identical.
However, there was one major difference. My mom and dad.
My mom and dad didn't spoil me.
My parents, while not embarrassed of the wealth that their hard work and toil achieved, never flaunted it. They didn't think that people should have everything they wanted. They especially didn't think that their children should have everything they wanted.
I heard the word "no" more than any other word during my eighteen years in their household.
My parents made it clear that I was going to succeed or fail based on my efforts and my efforts alone. The day I got suspended for going out to McDonalds (and getting caught by the principal), my parents refused to go to the school to argue in my defense. Their attitude was, "Well, I guess you shouldn't have skipped school. I guess you'll be paying for it," and backed up their words by grounding me for two weeks AFTER getting suspended from school for three days. Therefore, I learned there was no one on my side when I intentionally broke the rules.
My parents wouldn't go to the school to argue with a teacher if I got a bad grade. Instead, they stood over me and watched me do my homework, making sure I did it fully and correctly. They didn't allow me to get away with sloppy, half-hearted work, and therefore, I learned responsibility.
My parents spanked me when I lied. Therefore I learned honesty.
My parents walked in integrity and honesty in front of me. Therefore I learned to respect authority.
My parents never followed the crowd or gave in to the path of least resistance. Therefore I learned autonomy and independence.
What I am saying, Ethan, is that you were set up to fail. I don't blame you. I blame the current crop of parents who would rather their kids be "happy" than be "good."
I blame the current societal trend of basing the entire household's agenda, schedule, and life around the kids, therefore training them to think they are the center of the universe.
I blame your negligent and child-abusing parents (yes, I said child-abusing, and I'll say it again) who didn't love you enough to build any character in you whatsoever. They created you- a monster. A narcissistic, self-centered, egomaniac who has gone through life never being accountable for anything.
I am sorry for you.
I am sorry that you are responsible for the deaths of four innocent people because of a stupid mistake you made.
I am sorry that you didn't get jail time, because that's exactly what you need. Note that I didn't say "deserve." I said "need." You need desperately to be held accountable for your actions, for once in your life. You need to know that real people get hurt when you are self-centered and think you are above it all.
I am sorry for your future spouse- I cannot imagine the hell you will put her through thinking that you are above every rule, never will be held accountable, and can always do everything you please.
I am sorry for your future children, who will have a self-centered father who could care less about anything other than getting what he wants.
Most of all, I am sorry for you. Growing up without any character, being handed the world on a silver platter, is a terrible way to live. You have never known the joy of struggle- struggling to overcome an obstacle and achieving a victory. You've never known the empathy that develops within you when you have experienced incredible pain and hardship. You've never known the joy that comes with generosity and sacrifice, nor have you ever known the satisfaction that exists when you put others' needs in front of your own.
So, I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry for you.
This world- your parents, the school you attend, and the legal system have all conspired to create the monster that you are. Let's hope that you are able to overcome the way they have set you up to fail in life. Let's hope that you are able to gain some perspective and develop some true character so that you will no longer be the victim of "affluenza."
Sincerely,
David Kibler
Former potential victim of affluenza miraculously saved from it by his mean, heartless, strict parents
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