For the past ten soccer seasons, I coached soccer at the local middle school and high school. I loved it, I loved the kids, and I love the people I worked with. There was only one part of coaching I hated, and it wasn't dealing with parents. It wasn't scheduling games or practices or traveling to away matches.
It was tryouts. I hate cutting players from the team.
I know what that does to the players- I know it devastates them. But the plain and simple fact is that when you have 27 kids come out for the team and only 18 uniforms, someone is going to get their feelings hurt.
I remember getting cut from my high school Varsity soccer team when I was a freshman. I was relegated to the JV team (which wound up beating the Varsity team that year in a scrimmage, but I digress) and I hated it. I moaned and groaned and thought the world was coming to an end.
Then I got over it and moved on. Most kids do. But some don't.
I have had players that I had to cut from the team bad-mouth me. They blamed me for being a "jerk" and a "bad coach" because we couldn't fit 27 guys into 18 uniforms.
This betrays a mar on our nation's character that is becoming more and more prevalent in younger generations. This mar is known as entitlement. We, as a society, are becoming more and more "entitled" to things, believing it is our fundamental right to have them. When we don't get them, we cry, we blame, we complain- we expect SOMEONE ELSE to fix it for us because, after all, we're ENTITLED to them.
I explained to one kid who was particularly bitter about not making the team that being on the team was something he had to earn. It wasn't a right. Honestly, he hadn't put out much effort. He was last in the sprints, played half-heartedly in scrimmages during tryouts, and overall projected the image that he didn't want to be there. Not good when one-third of the guys trying out were going to get cut.
I said, "You can blame me all you want. The plain and simple fact is that you let yourself down. You let ME down. I expected effort and focus and hard work. You didn't do those things. You can blame me and get mad at me and holler and scream all you want, but the guy responsible for you not being on the team is the guy you see in the mirror every morning."
It went in one ear and out the other. The kid was so consumed with entitlement and the fact that I had robbed him of his "right" to be on the team that he couldn't see the truth in front of his face. The call I got from his mother the following night, where she blamed me for not giving him a fair chance, confirmed it. In her eyes, her son could do no wrong. I was the bad guy who had "stolen" (her words) her son's chance to be on the team.
Oh, how the entitlement culture thrives. It is so prevalent in our young people because it is encouraged by the parents. When I didn't make the varsity soccer team my freshman year, my dad said, "Well, obviously you didn't work hard enough. Learn the lesson and don't be so cocky next year." So, I shut up and went out to work harder to make the team the next year.
We see the entitlement mentality everywhere. It is prevalent in our schools, preventing teachers from holding students accountable for their actions (now, it's the teacher's fault when little Johnny fails a test as opposed to little Johnny who was up playing Xbox until 3 am the night before the test). It is prevalent in our families, with parents running up credit card debts to buy their children iPhones and iPads they can't afford.
The most dangerous place for entitlement, however, is in our churches. What would happen if Christians began feeling entitled to grace? We already have a secular American culture where people feel entitled to heaven when they die (If you don't believe this, try doing a funeral for someone and mentioning that they might be in hell instead of heaven. See how THAT one goes over!). One of the biggest criticisms of God today is "How could a loving God send people to hell?" Underlying that criticism is the belief that people are entitled to heaven when they die, and for God to send someone to hell is robbing them of their right to eternal life.
When the church begins to believe it is entitled to grace, entitled to heaven, entitled to all the blessings God gives, it is on dangerous ground. First of all, it will be flat-out wrong. No one is entitled to grace or heaven or blessings. They are undeserved gifts from God that He gives as He sees fit. Second, when grace and heaven are viewed as entitlements, the wonder and awe at these amazing gifts goes away.
In your church, if there is very little wonder and awe at the beauty of grace, the beauty of heaven, and the beauty of God's blessings, you can be sure that the culture of entitlement has crept in and has taken up residence there. It will destroy your church, it will destroy your love for God, and it will ultimately destroy any joy in life you might have.
It was tryouts. I hate cutting players from the team.
I know what that does to the players- I know it devastates them. But the plain and simple fact is that when you have 27 kids come out for the team and only 18 uniforms, someone is going to get their feelings hurt.
I remember getting cut from my high school Varsity soccer team when I was a freshman. I was relegated to the JV team (which wound up beating the Varsity team that year in a scrimmage, but I digress) and I hated it. I moaned and groaned and thought the world was coming to an end.
Then I got over it and moved on. Most kids do. But some don't.
I have had players that I had to cut from the team bad-mouth me. They blamed me for being a "jerk" and a "bad coach" because we couldn't fit 27 guys into 18 uniforms.
This betrays a mar on our nation's character that is becoming more and more prevalent in younger generations. This mar is known as entitlement. We, as a society, are becoming more and more "entitled" to things, believing it is our fundamental right to have them. When we don't get them, we cry, we blame, we complain- we expect SOMEONE ELSE to fix it for us because, after all, we're ENTITLED to them.
I explained to one kid who was particularly bitter about not making the team that being on the team was something he had to earn. It wasn't a right. Honestly, he hadn't put out much effort. He was last in the sprints, played half-heartedly in scrimmages during tryouts, and overall projected the image that he didn't want to be there. Not good when one-third of the guys trying out were going to get cut.
I said, "You can blame me all you want. The plain and simple fact is that you let yourself down. You let ME down. I expected effort and focus and hard work. You didn't do those things. You can blame me and get mad at me and holler and scream all you want, but the guy responsible for you not being on the team is the guy you see in the mirror every morning."
It went in one ear and out the other. The kid was so consumed with entitlement and the fact that I had robbed him of his "right" to be on the team that he couldn't see the truth in front of his face. The call I got from his mother the following night, where she blamed me for not giving him a fair chance, confirmed it. In her eyes, her son could do no wrong. I was the bad guy who had "stolen" (her words) her son's chance to be on the team.
Oh, how the entitlement culture thrives. It is so prevalent in our young people because it is encouraged by the parents. When I didn't make the varsity soccer team my freshman year, my dad said, "Well, obviously you didn't work hard enough. Learn the lesson and don't be so cocky next year." So, I shut up and went out to work harder to make the team the next year.
We see the entitlement mentality everywhere. It is prevalent in our schools, preventing teachers from holding students accountable for their actions (now, it's the teacher's fault when little Johnny fails a test as opposed to little Johnny who was up playing Xbox until 3 am the night before the test). It is prevalent in our families, with parents running up credit card debts to buy their children iPhones and iPads they can't afford.
The most dangerous place for entitlement, however, is in our churches. What would happen if Christians began feeling entitled to grace? We already have a secular American culture where people feel entitled to heaven when they die (If you don't believe this, try doing a funeral for someone and mentioning that they might be in hell instead of heaven. See how THAT one goes over!). One of the biggest criticisms of God today is "How could a loving God send people to hell?" Underlying that criticism is the belief that people are entitled to heaven when they die, and for God to send someone to hell is robbing them of their right to eternal life.
When the church begins to believe it is entitled to grace, entitled to heaven, entitled to all the blessings God gives, it is on dangerous ground. First of all, it will be flat-out wrong. No one is entitled to grace or heaven or blessings. They are undeserved gifts from God that He gives as He sees fit. Second, when grace and heaven are viewed as entitlements, the wonder and awe at these amazing gifts goes away.
In your church, if there is very little wonder and awe at the beauty of grace, the beauty of heaven, and the beauty of God's blessings, you can be sure that the culture of entitlement has crept in and has taken up residence there. It will destroy your church, it will destroy your love for God, and it will ultimately destroy any joy in life you might have.
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